It may be relief at still having a job. Or maybe it's the urge to drink freely on the boss' dime. In any case, holiday office parties are workplace snow globes of romantic possibility. For us at Playboy, the buffet alone requires mental wet wipes. Meat turns us carnivorous ("Look at that tenderloin"), spices become verbs ("It's time to nut Meg from accounting") and dessert is always sticky ("It's not what you think--it's just figgy pudding"). And we're not alone. For years we've been receiving evidence of the sexual productivity of American workers in the form of letters to the Playboy Advisor. So when we decided to generate hard numbers, we turned to Senior Staff Writer James R. Petersen. The author of The Century of Sex: Playboy's History of the Sexual Revolution and the man who made the Advisor an American icon teamed with one of our freshest colleagues, Editorial Assistant Malina Lee, who helped him spelunk through the correspondence. The numbers in Playboy's Office Sex Survey prove American workers indeed whistle while they work.
Playboy (ISSN 0032-1478), January 2003, volume 50, number 1, published monthly by Playboy, 680 North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois 60611. Subscriptions: U.S., $29.97 for 12 issues. Canada, $43-97 for 12 issues. All other foreign, $45 U.S. currency only. For new and renewal orders and change of address, send to Playboy subscriptions, P.O. Box 2007, Harlan, Iowa 51537-4007. Please allow 6-8 weeks for processing for change of address. Send new and old addresses and allow 45 days for change. Postmaster: Send form 3579 to Playboy, P.O. Box 2007, Harlan, Iowa 51537-4007. Advertising: New York: 730 Fifth Avenue, New York 10019 (212-261-5000): Chicago; 680 North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago 60611 (312-751-8000): West Coast: SD Media, 2001 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 200, Santa Monica, CA 90403 (310-264-7575): Southeast: Bentz & Maddock Inc., 5180 Roswell Road, Suite 102, South Building, Atlanta, GA 30342 (404-256-3800); For Subscription inquiries, call 800-999-4438.
About Schmidt Jack Nicholson adds yet another masterful portrayal to his gallery, as a Midwestern insurance salesman who retires in his 60s and discovers that his life is empty.[rating]3 bunnies[/rating]
Ryan Adams, America's most prolific singer-songwriter under the age of 30, dusted off demos from the past two years to make Demolition (Lost Highway). True to form, it's a poignant glimpse into his heartbroken soul.
Last year Grand Theft Auto III proved that saving the universe was for suckers. Real fun was in stealing cars, pulling off gangland hits and avoiding the law, all in the name of making a quick buck. The new sequel, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (by Rockstar Games, for PlayStation2), takes place in a model of Eighties-era Miami. New controls let you bail out of moving vehicles, shoot out tires, steal motorcycles and helicopters and pull off drive-bys in a stolen boat. Our tip: Pick up one of the game's seven soundtrack CDs. Rumor has it that each CD acts as a key when placed in your CD-ROM, giving you access to unique Vice City cheat codes that are accessible only from the CD. --Jason Buhrmester
What you need: The Xbox Live starter kit ($50). It includes a voice-chat headset and a one-year subscription to the Xbox Live service. You'll also need broadband Net service, since Xbox Live isn't compatible with dial-up connections.
Happy New Year, amigos. To prepare you for the collisions and conflagrations that are bound to occur between the sexes in 2003, Playboy recently sent me on assignment to all 50 of these great United States. I am happy to report I have completed my mission successfully and have returned to corporate headquarters with reams of top-secret information, some of which I will share with you here.
My girlfriend loves to dance. I don't, so I told her it was OK to dance with other guys when we go clubbing. However, I didn't mean she could bump and grind. You know the kind of dancing I'm talking about: The girl grinds her butt in the guy's crotch; when she's facing him, she grinds her coochie on his leg. Call me old-fashioned, but the way I see it, my girl is dry-humping a stranger. She says there's nothing sexual about it, but when she does it to me, I get aroused. My girlfriend has never given me a reason not to trust her. She tells me that no matter what, she's coming home with me. But if she has no problem dry-humping a guy in front of me, what is she doing when she's not with me? Am I being paranoid, or could this be an indication of infidelity?--R.M, Charleston, West Virginia
In January 2001, police arrested an accomplice to terror--Noelle Bush, the 24-year-old daughter of Florida Governor Jeb Bush and niece of newly appointed President George Bush. She had attempted, at 1:15 a.m., to fill a fraudulent prescription for the anti-anxiety drug Xanax at an all-night drugstore a few blocks from the Governor's Mansion in Tallahassee.
Within weeks of the planes striking the World Trade Center, Ronald Ferry, an observant hotel security guard, told the feds he had found an aviation radio inside an Egyptian student's room that overlooked the twin towers. He had been doing an inventory of belongings left behind by guests forced to evacuate during the attack. He said he'd found the transceiver, a device that allows pilots to communicate air-to-air and air-to-ground, in a safe in the student's room.
As part of a citywide festival, Baltimore's Office of Promotion and the Arts asked "billboard liberator" Ron English to contribute one of his signature pieces. His past creations have included billboards with slogans such as "Jihad Is Over! (If You Want It)" or spoof ads for Squirrel Squirt Beer, the All-OJ Channel and a film called Barney vs Godzilla. English erected the billboard seen above left on a busy street. The city immediately received complaints; the arts office suggested English take down the work to prevent it from being vandalized. He declined, instead asking that city officials give his number to anyone who complained. (English says only "incomprehensible loons" contacted him.) About 10 days later, a vandal destroyed the work with white paint, and a city crew took it down.
If your girlfriend, wife or marriage counselor has some conservative, misguided or just plain inaccurate ideas about sex, you might want to ask if she watches The Oprah Winfrey Show or the newly syndicated Dr. Phil. The daily talkathons are a veritable fountain of sexual fear, prejudice, harsh judgment and male-bashing.
Martin Scorsese has been one of America's most celebrated directors for 30 years. He's stayed on the fringe of the Hollywood system, avoiding the temptation to make blockbuster films in favor of smaller, personal statements that have won him a loyal following.
Hawaii is the closest that many of us will ever come to paradise. The black-sand beaches, the dramatic waterfalls and the crashing blue surf are irresistible. But Tia Carrere puts us over the edge. She makes us want to dance and schwing. Apparently, she's always had that effect on people. It all started in a Honolulu grocery store. She popped in for a snack and came out with a job offer for the lead in a film. Tia moved to Los Angeles and landed a role on General Hospital, as well as other film and television parts. She said aloha to major recognition with Wayne's World. Since then, she's been in dozens of movies (including Rising Sun, True Lies and 20 Dates), lent her voice to Disney's Lilo and Stitch and starred in her own TV adventure series, Relic Hunter. But none of this has changed Tia. She still has the soul of a simple Hawaiian girl--albeit one who kicks serious ass on and off the beach. So grab your board. Surf's up--and the sarong is down.
The Three Kings Pawnshop on Hollywood Boulevard had been burglarized three times in two years. The criminal methods of each breakin were similar, so the Los Angeles Police Department suspected that the same thief was responsible. But the thief was careful to never leave a fingerprint. No arrests were ever made and no stolen property was recovered Nikolai Servan, the Russian immigrant who owned the store, was left to wonder about the justice system of his adopted country.
There may be a woman somewhere who doesn't like chocolate, but she's hard to find. Chocolate can serve as a treat at the end of an exasperating day. It can be a salve that soothes life's injustices. As an ingredient in food, chocolate can transform whatever it accompanies into something extraordinary. And, of course, it seems almost necessary as the conclusion to a thoughtfully prepared and elegant meal.
Last August we invited Playboy readers and visitors to Playboy.com to participate in an office sex survey. We had a notion that lust was alive and well in the workplace, back in the hands of consenting adults where it belongs. As a nation, we'd moved beyond Anita Hill and Clarence Thomas or the Monica and Bill Show.
Bis SUVs are here to stay. The Navigator helped put Lincoln back on shopping lists. Cadillac's Escalade (above) has spawned another, longer 2003 version named the ESV. Owners of Volvos, BMWs, porsches and Volkswagens could soon be trucking in vehicles that aren't too far away from trucks. General Motors and AM General's Hummer2 (opposite page) is a civilized version of the goanywhere military machine that beat Saddam's Republican Guard. Got any 18-inch steps you need to climb? No problem. The $49,000 Hummer2 will walk right up and over them. Plus, unlike its urban predecessor, Hummer2 is small enough for you to reach over and touch whoever is riding shotgun. The flip side to (concluded on page 182)Monster's Ball (continued from page 99) big SUVs ("flip" is a sensitive word to manufacturers) is that these vehicles ride high, and with an elevated center of gravity are more prone to rollovers in tight turns. Poor gas mileage is another negative. SUVs also block the view of other drivers and, in accidents, make mincemeat of smaller cars. Doonesbury singled out the evils of SUVs, and the breed made grim headlines when Ford Explorers equipped with Firestone ATX and Wilderness AT tires suffered an unusually large number of blowouts and tread separations. All-new, fully independent suspension on 2002 models and improved tires solved that problem and Explorer sales revived. But the entire episode cast a pall on SUVs and resulted in a book by New York Times reporter Keith Bradsher entitled High and Mighty: SUVs: The World's Most Dangerous Vehicles and How They Got That Way.
When it comes to the current state of network news in this country, the words of Crosby, Stills and Nash may say it best: "It's been a long time coming Gonna be a long time gone." With more Americans currently watching cable TV than the broadcast networks, the audiences for network news would have declined even if the news divisions were cutting edge. But cutting edge isn't even close when discussing what ABC. CBS and NBC put on their nightly news casts. Switch on the television in the early evening and you will see the same stories done the same way on all three networks, Ponderous and slow, the broadcasts are like dinosaurs seeking to survive severe climatic changes. Will the evening newscasts become extinct? Maybe. Are they already irrelevant? Many viewers, especially those under the age of 55, think so.
Make your home or car a commercial-free zone with Delphi's XM SkyFi satellite radio (top left, $130), which receives 100 channels of music, news, sports and talk for $10 a month. Vehicle-and home-adapter kits are $70 each. Playboy Radio, XM's first premium channel, costs an additional $2.99 a month. Left: Sennheiser's RS65 cordless headphones receive surround sound from your stereo or TV within a range of 200 feet via a transmitter ($210). Additional headphone sets are $139 each. Below left: While you're hitting all those holiday parties, Panasonic's sleek-looking DMR-HS2 hard-disk recorder will add your favorite TV shows to its 40-gigabyte memory. The DMR-HS2 is the first recorder with a built-in DVD burner, which allows you to copy up to 52 hours of video on a single DVD-RAM or DVD-R disc ($1000). Below: We've stocked our bar with Chopin ever since this premium Polish vodka was introduced several years ago. For the holidays, Millennium (Chopin's importer) has packaged a bottle with a free matching stainless steel cocktail shaker in a deal we can drink to (about $30).
Rebecca ramos must have had litigants lined up for blocks when she practiced law in the Lone Star State. Although Miss January graduated magna cum laude with a B.B.A. in finance and passed the bar, the San Antonio native did a career 180 and became a pharmaceutical representative five years ago. "I was a lawyer at a large firm for three years before I moved to Ireland with my fiancé," she says. "That didn't work out, but when I came back I met someone who was a manager at a pharmaceutical company, and he offered me a position." Rebecca boasts a Mexican heritage--and a highly distinguished one. "My grandfather, Henry Gonzalez, was the first Mexican American in the Texas state senate, and he went on to serve in the U.S. House of Representatives for 30 years, where he became chairman of the Banking and Finance Committee. I remember being in the second grade and reading about him in our history books. My uncle, Charlie Gonzalez, succeeded my grandfather in Congress after he stepped down."
The economy! The sinking of the Dow! Enron! Halliburton! Harken! Worldcom! The trampling of civil liberties! John Ashcroft! The intelligence failures of September 11! Indecision on the Northern Alliance! Israel! Anthrax! Tom Ridge! Budget deficits! Iraq! By any standards, the high approval ratings of President George W. Bush are remarkable. Obviously, the Cowboy President has convinced Americans he is a leader. They're buying his talk of good versus evil, his talk of those who aren't with us are against us. Texas talk, right out of the movies. "When I take action, I'm not going to fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt," Bush said shortly after September 11. It was something his father would never--could never--say. You have the genetic heritage of Barbara Bush's sharp tongue to thank for that. For George W. Bush the notion of going after Saddam Hussein is not an act of jingoism, but raw and natural instinct. Texas is native habitat for every category of poisonous snake found in the Lower 48. (continued on page 166)W(continued from page 124)
In The Naked Ape, Desmond Morris theorized that cleavage was a frontal representation of the crack of a woman's ass--a practical way for two-legged creatures to avoid bending over all the time to display the real thing. But we don't need to be teased by ersatz cleavage anymore. The genuine item is all around us.
Peta, Peta, Veggie Eater Having trouble getting your message across? Just doff your duds. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, which pioneered the strategy, uses it to protest (1) the running of the bulls in Pamplona; (2) meat eaters, with a poster of Traci Bingham; (3) Ringling Bros, and Barnum and Bailey's circus, with Brandi Valladolid in tiger stripes; (4) fur, with a poster of NYPD Blue's Charlotte Ross; and (5) Premarin, the hormone replacement therapy made from pregnant mares' urine.
Her dress looks great on your kitchen floor. But your shirt looks better on her than on you. Take it as an opportunity. When she climbs out of bed and starts rummaging around for something to slip into, make sure she finds good stuff. That peek at a small corner of your world could get you into a small corner of hers. Why be selfish? Let her explore your drawers.
Ron Insana didn't set out to become a television business journalist. He took just one economics course, as a college sophomore. After graduation, the theater-and-film major got a job as a production assistant at the struggling Financial News Network in Los Angeles. He was soon laid off and joined the staff at a vitamin store. When FNN again beckoned, he quickly moved up the ranks. Two anchors of the understaffed operation called in sick the same day and Insana was tapped to read news updates on the air. A stint as an overnight replacement anchor helped him land his own morning stock market show. In 1991, CNBC acquired FNN and moved Insana to New York.
Globalization had a big impact here at Playboy. Our 2002 Playmates proved that beauty loves a melting pot. This year we have women with ancestors from Puerto Rico, Russia, Japan, China, Africa, Hawaii and even Guyana. But only one of these girls will be Playmate of the Year 2003, and you need to tell us who is most deserving. Will it be the screenwriter? The inventor? The fashion designer? The future veterinarian? The former showgirl? The punk-band singer? An aspiring actress or model? Picking only one is extremely difficult, but register your preference online and help your favorite Playmate get one step closer to the crown.
In mid-July 2002 President Bush vowed to crack down on Enronstyle corporate crime. It was nice bit of theater. As a young Texan with a Harvard MBA and a gold-plated name, George W. Bush benefited from just about every favor, handshake loan and political consideration that came his way. He also took advantage of the federal tax code, government intervention and the wiggle room afforded by murky areas of accounting and SEC regulations. In short, he was a Texas businessman. He played the game by Texas rules--wheeling and dealing enough to get rich without ending up behind bars.
2002 His been a pretty pathetic year for all of us, weevil. But you seem to have had a head start on every body, particularly in the female department. So I've decided to take some pity an your horny little bug's ass and help you with your new year's resolutlons.
Credits: Photography by: P. S. Patty beaudet-frances (2), J. Higgin Botham, Tobias buckley, gregory crow. melissa hayden, jerrel herron. david rose: P. 7 arny freytag. phil hale: P. 8 phillip dixon, mark ulrrksen. stephen wayda: P. 13 elayne lodge (9); P. 19 david rams: P. 16 wayda: p. 19 george georgiou: P. 20 matt godina. o granitz/retna LTD, USA. wayda: P. 22 paul harris/bwp media (2), o peter kramer/galella LTD.; P. 24 bettmann/corbis. Jeff stella; P. 26 james smeal/galella LTD., david stoltz/celebritypicturesla: P. 26 eli reed o 2002 warner bros.--u.s., canada. bahamas and bermuda, zade rosenthal, barry wetcher o revolution studios columbia pictures. Sony pictures entertainment co.; P. 30 miguel bracho sony pictures classics"' o sony pictures entertainment Inc., o milan ryba/globe photos Inc.; P. 32 armando gallo/retna LTD.; P. 41 patti arpaia, jeff kolodny (3): P. 47 william a. nash: P. 48 david goodman, o mike guastella/wireimage.com, james imbrogno: P. 55 ron english. christopher myers: P. 73 everett collection, Inc. (8), o miramax courtesy everett collection. Inc. (3): P. 74 mario tursi/miramax films, o miramax courtesy everett collection. Inc. (5): PP. 92-37 georgiou; PP. 103-107 wayda: P. 110 mark edward harris: P. 126 o reggie a/alpha/globe photos, Inc., globe photos, Inc. (4), gary lewis/camera press/retna LTD., carmen valdes/ron galella, LTD., theodore wood/camera press/retna LTD.; P. 127 corbis (2), bill davila/retna LTD., o steve finn/alpha/globe photos, Inc, globe photos, Inc. (3), jeff slocomb/retna LTD., Ian solo/london features Int'l; P. 132 business week (2), freytag (2), Adree latif/reuters/landov, london entertainment, gen nishino, people, playgirl, jerry stahler, reprinted by permission of newspaper enterprise association, Inc., star, the national enquirer, o tribune media services, Inc. all rights reserved. reprinted with permission. phillip vullo: P. 133 corbis (2), saurabh das/ap/wide world photos, Inc., nick didlick/reuters/landov, herald tribune, peta (2), rex features (2), pablo sanchez/reuters/landov, mike sturk/bloomberg news/landov, the tampa tribune, uk-nisyndication: P. 134 christian charius/reuters/landov. stewart cook/rex features, o armanoo gallo/retna LTD., globe photos, Inc. (2), ross hodgson (rhx) rex features, kathryn indiek/imagedirect.com, o jen lowrey/london features Int'l., mike smith, reprinted by permission, united feature syndicate. Inc., the national enquirer (3), variety, wayda (2), xpo/rex features; P 135 jim bourg/reuters/landov, daryl cagle/slate.com, chicago sun-times, copyright o houston chronicle. gerard frances. freytag, georgiou, getty images, globe photos, Inc. (2), herald tribune. newsweek, kamenko pajic/ap/wide world photos, Inc., people, the national enouirer, o tribune media services, Inc. all rights reserved. reprinted with permission, USA today: P. 136 mark baker/reuters/landov. dave caulkin/ap/wide world photos. Inc., corbis (5). chip east/reuters/landov. jonathan evans/reuters/landov, steve holland/ap/wide world photos, Inc., london features Int'l. new york post, penthouse, rex features (6), joerg sarbach/ap/wide world photos, Inc., sipa press, star (2), str/reuters/landov, the national enouirer. m. von holden/dmi/rex features, matt wagemann, o J. scott wynn/retna LTD., P. 137 globe photos, Inc. (2), andrew goldman, david hartley/rex features, kevin lemarque/reuters/landov, people, rex features (3), star (2), us weekly; P. 139 wayda (2): P. 140 o douglas graham/roll call/corbis sygma, o jason grow/corbis saba, o steven hirsch/corbis sygma, o kim kulish/corbis saba, o martin simon/corbis saba (2); P. 158 john r. mourgos; P. 162 freytag: P. 163 freytag; P. 164 freytag; P. 191 baywatch com (6). james gonis (4), larry gordon; P. 192 o R.J. capak/wireimage.com. freytag, theresa hennessey, lodge (4). P. 198 rudi ayasse. georgiou; P. 199 wagemann; P. 200 georgiou. edmund guy, nishino, wayda. illustration by: P. 47 bill benway, P. 137 fritz drury, stamp art by: P. 15 tony crnkovich. artwork by: P. 139 scott anderson. P. 76 hair by david cox for bumble and bumble/celestineagency.com, makeup by ulli schober for nars/celestineagency.com; P. 144 women's styling by meriem orlet, hair by richard keogh for artists by timothy priano, makeup by donna fumoso for face stocrholm cover: model: tia carrere, photographer: phillip dixon, hair: kali for celestineagency.com. makeup: ulli schober for nars/celestineagency.com.