Welcome to the wide world of cable--our reception has never been better. Coaxial cover girl Kiana Tom (smile by God, body by Rodin) joins us from Kiana's Flex Appeal on ESPN2. We'd spot for her in an accelerated heartbeat. Inside, she leaves her spandex behind in a Tom-terrific pictorial by Contributing Photographer Arny Freytag. Be careful that you don't pull a muscle. Freytag doubles his ratings with a spread on the girls of Road Rules and The Real World. Call it MTV Unclothed. From hard bodies to hard news: For six years Bill O'Reilly hosted Inside Edition and nobody cared. Then came The O'Reilly Factor on Fox News--now the highest-rated news show on cable--and all hell broke loose. George Clooney called O'Reilly a liar for his report on the September 11 charity telethon; O'Reilly called Clooney a weasel. David Sheff finds O'Reilly combative as ever in a raucous Playboy Interview. O'Reilly says Bill Clinton and John Ashcroft owe him answers on the Marc Rich pardon, and that people should shut up about sex.
Playboy (ISSN 0032-1478), May 2002, Volume 49, Number 5, Published Monthly by Playboy, 680 North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago. Illinois 60611. Subscriptions: U.S., $29.97 for 12 issues. Canada, $43.97 for 12 issues, all other foreign, $45 U.S. currency only. For new and renewal orders and Change of Address, Send to Playboy Subscriptions, P.O. Box 2007, Harlan, Iowa 51537-4007. Please allow 6-8 weeks for processing. For Change of Address, send new and old addresses and allow 45 days for change. Postmaster: Send form 3579 to Playboy, P.O. Box 2007, Harlan, Iowa 51537-4007. Advertising: New York: 730 Fifth Avenue, New York 10019 (212-261-5000); Chicago: 680 North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago 60611 (312-751-8000); West Coast: SD Media, 2001 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 200, Santa Monica, CA 90403 (310-264-7575); Southeast: Bentz & Maddock Inc., 5180 Roswell Road, Suite 102, South Building, Atlanta, GA 30342 (404-256-3800); for subscription inquiries, call 800-999-4438.
Because I knew nothing would come of it: "At a bar I ran into this sexy guy I had gone to school with. Turns out he had a huge crush on me back then. He told me about poems he had written for me and about times we spent together I could barely recall. He was in a four-year relationship but his girlfriend was out of the country. He made it clear to me that he was into having an affair. I couldn't wait to rip his clothes off, and I already knew him, so it was safe game. We drove home and made out at every red light. We barely made it to the door with our shirts on. We christened the entire apartment and slept only long enough to regain our strength for a morning session. After that night we never saw each other again. He never told his girlfriend, and I was happy I got laid."
Charlie O'Neale gets our vote as the page-three girl we most want to emigrate to America. The Bedford beauty came to Los Angeles and auditioned for roles on shows like Baywatch, but all she heard was, "Sorry, Charlie." "I can't do an American accent," she confessed to The Daily Star. "I just want to be a model." The 23-year-old showed up on covers of Vogue Bride and Loaded, and has appeared in ad campaigns for Dr Pepper and Canon. Now she's been digitized into the new Sony PlayStation game Stuntman. (As if we didn't waste enough time playing games with women.) Even though the acting didn't work for her the first time around, she still has her eye on America. "There's plenty of people there who haven't seen me yet," she says.
Sex Sells, but for some reason, only a handful of women--sexy or otherwise--can hold their own against their male counterparts at the box office. Even then, the woman in question has to be in just the right role, such as Jodie Foster in Panic Room, which puts a new spin on the age-old damsel-in-distress formula. Movies are dominated by male stars, and even some of our most gifted actresses find themselves playing wives or girlfriends in A-list films, instead of being the focal points of the stories. No wonder so many women have started production companies to develop suitable properties to showcase their talents.
Eva Mendes, First Noticed: As Denzel Washington's naked girlfriend in Training Day. Now On Screen: In All About the Benjamins, with Ice Cube and Mike Epps. Was She Surprised by the Response She Got from Training Day? "It was such a small part, and I think it's because I went with full-frontal nudity. I don't think Americans are used to that. People are so protective of me, even people I don't know. They ask, 'Do you think you should have had to do that?' And I say, 'Did it ever occur to you that I wanted to do that?' " What Turns Her on About Acting? "I haven't figured out what acting is for me, and that's what keeps me loving it. It keeps me on my toes--and I become bored easily. Since I started acting I feel like I've gotten to know myself, because I'm t in so many different situations and scenarios. It's interesting how I deal with it all." Is There a Part She'd Love to Play? "The industry is pegging me as the tough, feisty girl. What would be fun to do would be Sandy in Grease, just because it's ironic and people wouldn't expect it. I think I could pull that one off. People would probably have figured me to play Rizzo."
American Chai This charming movie about a young Indian American's attempt to pursue his dreams--despite his father's oppressive insistence he maintain old-world values--has equal doses of truth and humor on its side. An impressive low-budget debut for director Anurag Mehta. [rating]3 bunnies[/rating]
Compared with his controversial photographs of teenagers and his MPAA-defying films Kids, Another Day in Paradise and Bully,Larry Clark's favorite flicks are almost benign. "The first film that really did it for me was John Cassavetes' Shadows, which I saw when I went to art school in Milwaukee in the early Sixties," recalls Clark. "The style, the look, the acting--there's an honesty to all his films. And I can always pop a Sam Peckinpah film into the VCR. I love The Getaway, The Wild Bunch and especially Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia. Now there's a dark view of the world."
The Harburg-Duke pop standard April in Paris waxes poetic about springtime in the City of Light--"chestnuts in blossom, holiday tables under the trees"--but the reality is: natives without deodorant, waiters without decorum, toilet paper that won't tear and a hard-to-say word for everything. They hate you, too.
The Bob Hope-Bing Crosby-Dorothy Lamour "road movie" hits of the Forties and Fifties still constitute one of the all-time champion franchises in Hollywood. The first four of the seven films--Road to Singapore (1940), Rood to Zanzibar (1941), Rood to Morocco (1942) and Road to Utopia (1946)--recently arrived in digitally remastered form on DVD (Universal, $20 each, boxed together for $70). The films, grouped with five other new-to-DVD releases under the Bob Hope Collection banner, are a mother lode of Hope, but it's clearly the Road movies that endure. Hope's screen persona, the high-strung horn-dog who wisecracks his way out of one life-threatening bind after another, proved the perfect complement to Crosby's crooner cool. Alas, as Hope and Crosby took control of the series in later years--the roads to Rio (1947), Bali (1952) and Hong Kong (1962)--they focused less attention on their female foil, the remarkable Lamour, whose status among the all-time sex symbols is reinforced while cruising these early Roads.
If you need proof that there were dramatic highlights in TV's vast wasteland, then here it is. Twenty-five of Broadway Theater Archive's series of plays produced for television are now being released by Kultur Video (kultur.com) in digitally remastered DVD format. They include great actors at the peak of their careers performing award-winning plays. The first batch in the series includes Awake and Sing! by Clifford Odets starring Walter Matthau, Jean Cocteau's The Human Voice with Ingrid Bergman, Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman with Lee J. Cobb, and George S. Kaufman and Ring Lardner's June Moon with Susan Sarandon.
Johnny Winter kept the white-boy blues alive during the Seventies. Underappreciated today, he played the blues with more passion and authority than anyone this side of Hendrix. The Best of Johnny Winter (Legacy) should turn on a new generation to the ragged glory of his incendiary playing.
Two Queens Department: The queen of soul is singing for the queen of England at Elizabeth's Golden Jubilee gala in June. Aretha says a person "just doesn't get many invitations to sing for the queen"--except in front of the mirror. Reeling and Rocking: DMX reunited with Jet Li, his Romeo Must Die co-star, in Cradle to the Grave. He plays a suspected diamond thief.... That controversial scene in The Debtors is intact as the movie opens in America. The holdup was over footage of Rammstein spraying milk on an audience through a large phallus. Newsbreaks:Blues Brothers director John Landis has put together an all-star group (Keith Richards, Bonnie Raitt, Chuck D and Brian May, among others) for a TV concert paying tribute to the blues. Expect a CD and an international blues education program for kids from it.... Little Steven's syndicated radio show, Little Steven's Underground Garage, will debut any day now, tracing garage rock from the Electric Prunes till now.... The Grateful Dead still plans to open a museum in San Francisco.... U2 has been awarded an Irish commemorative stamp.... Patti Austin is getting her one-woman show, On the Way to Love, ready for Broadway.... Kurt Cobain's journals, containing lyrics, drawings and essays, are being shopped around for publication.... The Experience Music Project has a new exhibit, Uncommon Objects, opening next month that will include Elvis' shoes and Liberace's coat.
This Column is not about you or me. After all, we've never dated women who fooled around behind our backs. How do we know? Because we are too handsome and virile and debonair to put up with that kind of disloyalty. And everybody knows we are hung like horses and wield tongues like 10-inch skillets and have so many notches on our weenies that they resemble raw cube steak. You and me, jefe, we are irresistible to our women and have always kept these same women totally satisfied and under control, right?
The Taliban, may they rest in paradise, taught the world a valuable lesson: Theocracy sucks. That gang of religious thugs never rose to the level of government. Oh, they gave themselves important titles like the Ministry for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice. They had a code of laws that deemed as unclean "satellite dishes, cinematography, any equipment that produces the joy of music, pool tables, chess, masks, alcohol, tapes, computers, VCRs, televisions, anything that propagates sex and is full of music, wine, lobster, nail polish, firecrackers, statues, sewing catalogs, pictures and Christmas cards," etc. That list, reported in The New York Times, sounds surprisingly familiar. We call it the good life.
Tomorrow on your way to work, count the number of security cameras pointed at you. The last time I did this, I stopped when I reached two dozen. Had they the energy or the suspicion, security guards could have isolated me filling my Subaru at the corner gas station, getting cash at the ATM drive-through, returning videos to Blockbuster, carbo-loading at the 24-hour convenience store, dropping off my kids at their schools, trying to squeeze into an atrophied indoor parking space that costs me $245 a month, entering the lobby of my workplace, boarding the elevator (from the lobby to my desk I pass five cameras), going across the street for a workout at the health club, grabbing a salad at a cafeteria and window-shopping on Michigan Avenue (to capture my attention, a few shop owners put my image on televisions). Book and record stores keep track of my literary and musical taste or lack of it. There are the news helicopters that monitor my commute home, radar guns that register my speed and cameras at intersections that snap a photo of my license plate if I run a red light.
We've always known that good things come in threes. It's too bad everybody doesn't feel the same way. Media Markt, a German electronics chain store, posted 15,000 of these advertisements in and around Berlin. The caption reads, There's More Inside Than You Think. After it received several complaints from two-breasted women, the company removed the posters.
I'm watching Porsche's Ordeal. A dominatrix, clad in purple latex, is attaching clips to Porsche's labia. She then methodically adds tiny weights to each clip, stacking them like iron plates on a Cybex machine, except these weights are the size of half-dollars. When the stack is maxed out and Porsche, chained to a wooden, leather-covered X, is breaking like a wave against a pier, the dom adds a grace note. She waves a large magnet back and forth beneath the clips, tugging at them with the invisible pull. Labia dance like the aurora borealis.
Colin Powell's favorite story about the modern American Army goes something like this: It is the eve of Desert Storm. While interviewing soldiers, Sam Donaldson asks a young black soldier, "How do you think the battle will go? Are you afraid?" The soldier, according to Powell's autobiography, My American Journey, says, "We'll do OK, we're well trained. I'm not afraid." The members of his tank platoon--men and women of all races--shout, "Tell him again! He didn't hear you!" The soldier then says, "This is my family, and we take care of each other." By late last year, the U.S. helped overthrow the Taliban in Afghanistan with a mix of air power, Special Operations Forces and technology. And the tactical victory came courtesy of a fully integrated military--something inconceivable as recently as 50 years ago. Today the U.S. military is one of the most progressive institutions in the country. In a few short decades it has made an about-face from its racist, segregated past. In the Gulf war, 20 percent of American troops were black (compared with 12 percent of the general population). For many underprivileged black Americans, the military is a source of opportunity and education. Witness the rise of Colin Powell, who became chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and is now secretary of state. He, and thousands like him, are part of a rich tradition worthy of celebration.
Reality television is a spectator sport we've been playing since MTV launched "The Real world" in 1992. Before Richard got naked on "survivor." before a group of effeminate guys embarrassed themselves by joining the boy band O-Town on "Making the Band" and before we met the bitchy babes on "Love Cruise." MTV created the reality show that could--and would--for more than a decade. Lately, critics have proclaimed the imminent death of the (text concluded on page 82) genre, but people are still hooked on The Real World and its spin-off, Road Rules. Ten years after its debut, The Real World draws ratings among 12- to 34-year-olds that are almost three times higher than in its first season. To honor reality TV's best, we asked the most memorable alums from The Real World and Road Rules to take things a step further and get even more real--as in, real nude. Take another look at The Real World Los Angeles' Beth Stolarczyk, The Real World Miami's Flora Alekseyeva, Road Rules Semester at Sea's Veronica Portillo and Road Rules Quest's Jisela Delgado. You've watched as they've hot-tubbed, partied and argued with their roommates, but you've never seen them like this.
Back in the day, a stag party record like Humpingville U.S.A. ("small-town hicks getting their kicks") was akin to a mink-phallus necklace--less than desirable and extremely hard to find. Which, of course, is what makes it a precious collectible today. Over the past five years, a growing number of collectors have bid on obscure sleazecake LPs as if they were Monets and Van Goghs. "It's hard to believe that these were ever made," says Matthew Glass, a New Yorker who has several thousand nudie-novelty discs. "It's getting harder to walk into a store and find these records. The best stuff often pops up online." While the records typically cost between $20 and $100, buyers have paid more than $400 for a rare slab of sin. "I have one customer who's spent close to $15,000 on cheesecake alone," says Preston Peek, owner of Vinyllives.com, the largest source for weird and erotic LPs. Other outlets include websites like Jackdiamond.com and eBay (search under "stag," "nude" and "cheesecake"). David Drozen, who worked with his father at the risqué comedy label Laff Records in the late Sixties, is amused by the current craze. "Back then I don't know what anybody did with them. They were conceived as party records more than comedy records." Today, nobody cares why they were made.
He was already at the ballpark when I got there, and that was unusual for Tommy. Of course he was scheduled to pitch that afternoon, going up against the Bobcats in the last game of a three-game home stand, but even when he pitched he tended to show up a lot closer to game time. He'd make it in time to warm up properly, and he'd generally be there for the batting practice that Hairston makes his pitchers take along with everybody else, seeing as our league has escaped the goddamn designated hitter rule. But he was a last-minute kind of guy, and I'm the opposite, like most catchers. So it was a surprise to walk in and see him already suited up.
Shopping for clothes is confusing. We feel your pain--we've had seats at dozens of runway shows. That means we can help you cut through the clutter, narrow your buying and organize your closet. This year, there's a short list of must-have items. First up is something leather or suede. Leather used to be reserved for the cold seasons; now there are light versions for summer. As for shirts: Think stripes. Vertical stripes. Colorful stripes. When you're ready to dress down, set yourself apart with details only a designer can provide. Sports and street clothing benefit from lots of zippers, closures, cell-phone pockets and interesting collars. Keep in mind, too, that serious looks are back. That means suits. Obviously, they're great with a dress shirt and tie, but they also go with a polo shirt--or you can ditch the jacket, and your pants will make a good impression.
It Didn't take long for Miss May Christi Shake, who rolled into Los Angeles a year ago, to tell us what she misses most about her hometown, Baltimore. "Everyone is really close and watches out for one another," she says. "In a big city like LA, you don't know whether anyone's real or not. I'm used to being up-front and telling people how it is." The 21-year-old is also accustomed to hell-raiser-friendly club hours back East. "Everything here closes at two A.M.," she says. "I'm kind of glad it does, though, because then I don't stay out too late. I also miss the crisp autumn air, the falling leaves and the smell of chimney smoke--but not the snow."
Bud Selig, the Minnesota Twins and the Montreal Expos are alive for another year. Last year's amazing baseball season was marred by a bizarre winter in which franchises, ownerships, schedules, revenues and bargaining agreements were all cast in doubt. Baseball will have a hard time matching the drama of last season's pennant races. Barry Bonds hit 73 homers and the Arizona Diamondbacks rode horses named Schilling and Johnson to an improbable World Series title. The Seattle Mariners, with the help of Ichiro Suzuki, won 116 games. The Twins came out of nowhere to challenge in the AL Central. The Cubs and the Phillies showed signs of life as well. We saw fantastic new stadiums in Pittsburgh and Milwaukee and the retirements of Tony Gwynn and Cal Ripken. Seven managers quit or were fired. For the first time since D Day, baseball suspended regular season play. And we'll probably soon see the end of several longstanding franchises. Americans used to be able to rely on the stability of baseball in times of trouble. Not anymore. But even with all the turmoil, another season is under way. So let's get to it.
Men's Grooming has a fresh face. Even Victoria's Secret has introduced a cologne for men, and if that doesn't help you get lucky, nothing will. Is there no balm in Gilead? Sure there is. Tommy Hilfiger's T aftershave balm is especially soothing because it doesn't contain any alcohol. Men with oily skin should try the clay mask by Zirh to absorb impurities and excess oil, and Calvin Klein's oil-control hydrator to keep the skin moist. Nivea's exfoliating face scrub helps deep-clean your pores. Lab Series has introduced Trifecta, a quick-absorbing gel for oily skin. Aramis' Surface skin cream is another quick fix. It incorporates reflectors that diminish lines, wrinkles and uneven skin tones to give you a refreshed look. Nickel's Amuse-Gueule moisturizing serum is a concentrated formula of antioxidants designed to revitalize stressed skin. It's available in handy two-milliliter single doses. Another product from Nickel, Lendemain de Fête, is designed to perk up your face after a rough night. It contains menthol-enriched unroasted coffee as part of a mixture that the company says will give your skin a boost. To finish your image, try a new fragrance, such as X-Centric by Dunhill, Dior's Higher or Very Sexy for Him from Victoria's Secret. The last combines sage, grapefruit and cedarwood with freesia. Use this essential bit of knowledge when you meet a Victoria's Secret model at a party and she asks about your cologne: Tell her that freesia is a South African plant of the iris family, with fragrant flowers.
Panties don't lie. A woman can dress according to fashion and disguise her personality, but her panties are a reflection of her soul. A beautiful soul wears beautiful panties; a bitter, constricted one wears tighty whiteys. What do my panties say about me? Every morning when I don a fresh pair, my dream is that by nightfall they will be utterly destroyed. Beauty peaks just before its destruction. This is a secret, but sometimes while dressing for a night out, I'll snip the seams of my panties halfway up so that later my date will feel fiendish when my panties come apart in his lumberjack-man hands. The word panties comes from pantaloons, after Saint Pantaleon. It makes sense that my panties are named after a martyr--they live short lives and are sacrificed in a violent manner.
At 26, Milla Jovovich has saved the world more often than anyone had any reason to expect. Jovovich's parents were a Russian actress and a Yugoslavian medical student who left the Soviet Union for California when their daughter was five years old. Milla, who was called a commie at school, started taking acting classes at the age of nine. Jovovich made her film debut on Disney Channel's The Night Train to Kathmandu. In 1988, at the age of 12, she made history as the youngest girl ever to appear on an American fashion magazine cover. Richard Avedon photographed her as one of Revlon's most unforgettable women. Jovovich graced 15 covers that year, and People magazine named her one of its 50 Most Beautiful People.
You have a drink in your hand and your toes in the sand. There are girls in tight T-shirts, wet T-shirts or no T-shirts at all. If this is your idea of summer, you've come to the right place. Crack a cold one and check out the fun in the sun.
If anyone is going to get guys off the couch and whip them into shape, it's Kiana Tom. Plenty of aspiring starlets try to raise our pulses on TV workout shows, but Kiana's Flex Appeal has surfed the fitness wave and become the highest-rated show on ESPN2. "I created Kiana's Flex Appeal for people who want to be in shape for life," she says. "Everybody can watch the show and incorporate a part of it into their lives to make themselves healthier and stronger." The energetic, sweat-inducing program, which debuted in 1995, just wrapped its final season on location at Orlando's Walt Disney World. "I'm developing a new series for the Fox Sports Network in which I work out with professional athletes and celebrities so viewers can learn their exercise routines," she says. Kiana is a dominating force in the fitness world, so will she discipline her guests if they do something wrong? "Just a light spanking--if they're cute," she says, laughing.
A football coach says he lettered in football and earned a master's degree. Liar. A professor boosts his reputation with stories of fighting in Vietnam. Liar. An actress supposedly caught shoplifting claims she's researching a movie role. Liar. Nixon would be proud. Somehow, we have moved from a culture of spin-doctoring to one of just plain lying. Take Ronald Reagan. When he remembered anything, it usually turned out to be false--he said he'd served in Europe in World War II when he actually spent the war in Los Angeles. Then Bill Clinton insisted he didn't inhale, and Al Gore made silly claims about the Internet. Thankfully, elected officials can be voted out and football coaches fired. But when the Charles Ponzis of the business world start falsifying accounts and stealing our 401Ks, the only thing left is to take a few cheap shots.
Below is a list of retailers and manufacturers you can contact for information on where to find this month's merchandise. To buy the apparel and equipment shown on pages 33, 43-44, 88-91, 113, 122 and 167, check the listings below to find the stores nearest you.
Weevil, I don't care if we did travel all the way to Las Vegas on a senior citizen package tour, I'll be damned if I'm going to spend three days sipping cream soda and playing keno with a bunch of senile old shitters.
For techno junkies like us the International Consumer Electronics Show is torture. Every year we compile a wish list of the best electronics from the convention's 2000 exhibit booths. Then we're stuck waiting months for that digital camera to hit the stores while we use an antique that seemed state-of-the-art a minute ago. So we've learned to be patient. But here's the plan. Right away we're upgrading from our current MP3 player to Sonicblue's Rio Riot. Its 20GB hard drive holds 5000 songs (roughly 400 CDs) that can be sorted into folders for easy navigation. Plus, it has an FM tuner. We know we want Panasonic's SV-AV10--even if we aren't sure what to call it. Using a 64MB SD memory card, the SV-AV10 can play digital music and record 30 minutes of video or 880 images that can be played back on its two-inch LCD screen. Once we start carrying Samsung's SPH-A400 mobile phone, we'll have two options when we're lost: Call for directions or use the telephone's GPS function. If you still have a hard time writing on a PDA, opt for Sharp's Zaurus SL-5500. It has a hidden keyboard, 206MHz processor and 64MB memory.