This month--the last stapled issue of Playboy--boasts the nude photos of Madonna, who is very simply the hottest woman in show business today. She's the raunchy rock-'n'-roller who opens her concerts by holding up a portable radio/cassette player, smiling slyly and saying, "How do you like my box?" In other words, our kind of girl. Even back in 1979, renowned photographers Lee Friedlander and Martin H. Schreiber saw something special in the 20-year-old model who posed for them in their Manhattan studios. We do, too, and so will you. Guaranteed.
Take a quick look at the flying tumult on this page, then imagine it moving. That's as close as you can get to the excitement of the new Playboy Channel without flipping on your TV. Here are a few highlights from a fast-moving, sophisticated alternative to network TV.
Playboy, (ISSN 0032-1478), September, 1985, Volume 32, Number 9. Published Monthly by Playboy, Playboy Building, 919 North Michigan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois 60611. Subscriptions: In the United States and its possessions, $54 for 36 issues, $36 for 24 issues, $22 for 12 issues. Canada, $35 for 12 issues. Elsewhere, $35 (U.S. Currency) for 12 issues. Allow 45 days for new subscriptions and renewals. Change of address: Send both old and new addresses to Playboy, Post Office Box 2420, Boulder, Colorado 80322, and allow 45 days for change. Marketing: Ed Condon, Director/Direct Marketing; Jack Bernstein, Circulation Promotion Director. Advertising: Charles M. Stentiford, Advertising Director; Joe Mangione, Advertising Promotion Director; Jeffrey Kleinman, Craig Vander Ploeg, Senior Associate Managers; Jay Remer, National Alcoholic Beverages Marketing Manager; Brian Van Mols, National Automotive Marketing Manager, 747 Third Avenue, New York, New York 10017; Linda Malanga, Chicago Manager, 919 North Michigan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois 60611; 3001 West Big Beaver Road, Troy, Michigan 48084; Los Angeles 90010, Stanley L. Perkins, Manager, 4311 Wilshire Boulevard, San Francisco 94104, Tom Jones, Manager, 417 Montgomery Street.
When we have difficult decisions to make, we have the luxury of consulting our horoscopes. Well, countries have birthdays, too; hence, they must have astrological signs that govern their attitudes and behavior. And since many countries are in serious need of help, they should be able to consult their horoscopes as well. Indeed, macroastrology is probably more useful than macroeconomics. This month's advice to select countries:
Reeling and Rocking: Sting's next movie, The Dream of the Blue Turtles, will be a tie-in with an album. Directed by Michael Apted, the film will chronicle the development, rehearsal and performance of Sting's new four-piece jazz band.... Mountain's Leslie West has been cast in that new Richard Benjamin movie, The Money Pit. West will play a wealthy rock star. Typecasting? ... Annie Lennox has a role in Revolution, starring AI Pacino and Nastassja Kinski.... Keith Emerson is about to make his acting debut in an adventure film shot in Venezuela.
Two Men in a Latin-American prison cell have little in common except the cramped space they share. Molina, a homosexual, is supposed to be informing on his cellmate, Valentin, a dour Marxist revolutionary whose face and body are scarred by frequent torture. Eventually, they become friends, then lovers. Yet Kiss of the Spider Woman (Island Alive) is anything but a gay-rights romance. Its protagonists are simply people whose enforced togetherness teaches them love and trust. The odd-couple chemistry works very well, thanks to vibrant performances by Raul Julia as the radical and William Hurt as the gay window dresser who's been jailed for corrupting a minor and spends his time recalling the plots of old movies. Hurt, who has the flashier role, was named best actor at this year's Cannes Film Festival. You'll see why. He takes getting used to as a self-proclaimed faggot who flounces around the jail wearing his towel as a turban, a parody of the Hollywood pinups he idolizes. But Hurt finally conquers with a thoughtful portrayal of a tragically real character, and it's a compliment to say he never appears to be pulling off an actor's tour de force a la Tootsie.
Idol Gossip: A trio of Oscar nominees--Mary Tyler Moore, Sam Waterston and Christine (Swing Shift) Lahti--have been signed to star in Orion's Something in Common, a comedy about a suburban housewife (Moore) who finds out that her best friend (Lahti) had been having an affair with her recently deceased husband. Said husband will be played by Cheers's Ted Danson.... Sequels on the drawing board include a follow-up to Beverly Hills Cop (Eddie Murphy is still considering whether or not to reprise his role); a new edition of A Touch of Class, with George Segal and Glenda Jackson reuniting; and a second installment of South African Jamie Uys'sThe Gods Must Be Crazy.... Word has it that Steven Spielberg will direct the screen version of Alice Walker's Pulitzer Prize-winning novel The Color Purple. Comedienne Whoopi Goldberg has been cast in the lead role.... Tony Perkins will star in and direct Universal's Psycho III.... A film version of the popular board game Clue will be brought to the screen by Paramount in time for Christmas, with an all-star cast filling the roles of Colonel Mustard, Mrs. Peacock, Miss Scarlet, Mr. Green, Mrs. White and Professor Plum.... After eight years of false starts, it finally looks as if a film version of the Dick Tracy comic strip may just make it to the big screen. Martin Scorsese has been set to direct, with Warren Beatty probably playing the title role.
Pulitzer Prize--winning journalist William A. Henry III does us all the favor of reviewing the last Presidential campaign in Visions of America: How We Saw the 1984 Election (Atlantic Monthly Press). This is not your basic behind-the-scenes account but an unpartisan history of how the nation at large saw the events that led to Reagan's landslide. Henry is a careful observer of the recent past and proves to be an astute appreciator of Reagan's peculiar and persistent political allure. Every Democratic campaign strategist should read this book before gearing up for the next go-around if he wants to stay in business.
For indiscriminate killing, it's tough to beat a Latin-American country. How does this apply to sports? I'll tell you how. They take soccer seriously down there. In fact, Latins almost seem to take soccer more seriously than they do in England, which happens to be where the sport began, in the 11th Century, as a game called "kicking the Dane's head." This means that Latins take soccer more seriously than the average Brit takes his bath water. Consequently, it's my perception that soccer in Latin America has, to date, killed more people than wars, terrorist raids, coups, border skirmishes, guerrilla mischief and medicine doctors combined. According to my math, riots at Latin-American soccer games alone have accounted for 1,300,000 deaths in the past 48 hours. When you add in the dead and injured from various stadium collapses, the number of casualties grows to 2,700,000, give or take a troubled dope deal in Bogotá. Last spring, they tried to match these figures in Europe but didn't come close.
It's been a decade since America's commitment to Vietnam ended. Now that the hype surrounding the tenth anniversary of our withdrawal from Saigon is over, maybe we can talk rationally about the Vietnam war and the haunting memories it evoked this past spring.
Perhaps this, the eve of a climbing trip to Yosemite, isn't the perfect time for me to be thinking about falling. Then again, maybe this is precisely the moment to be hashing around in the subject, knowing that in a little while I'll be up there on one of those slick granite faces, in that cathedral of rock, looking down from a perspective that makes the big pines look like moss on the valley floor, and that at certain minutes, like every time before, I will be so terrified that anything I've said here will seem the kind of nonsense a man ought to be punished for.
What is the problem with women these days? Why can't I find a woman who likes making love to me? Although my experience is not extensive, I cannot find a mate who will volunteer the female-superior position. Women appear to think that it is the man's job to do all the work, as pleasant a job as it may be. Ladies, as much as you enjoy being made love to by your mate, I am sure that most men will agree with me that it is equally, if not more, enjoyable for a man to be made love to by a woman. One of the excuses that I get when I ask a mate how she feels about making love to me is "I don't know what to do." Ha! How hard, no pun intended, can it be? I've never had a goddamn lesson. Some ladies think that it is improper, unladylike or macho for a woman to make love to a man. Bullshit. For those of you men who agree with those ladies, don't knock it until you've been knocked by a lady, and if you can't get one to make love to you, then buy one. It's worth it. Then maybe you will understand what I am talking about. Ladies, I have a suggestion. If you like the way your mate makes love to you, taking into account the differences in anatomy, use the same techniques, the same rhythm. I find that I get bored very quickly with a particular mate, even though I may very much like her, if time after time I must initiate as well as follow through with a session of lovemaking. If we cannot enjoy and complement each other physically, then I really am not interested in any form of relationship. Sorry, ladies, but get your shit together. Please.--B. A. S., Los Angeles, California.
There's trouble in paradise as John Huston looks up at the sky again and sees no sign of rain. He has been living in Las Caletas, Mexico, which is south of Puerto Vallarta and reachable only by boat, for ten years, and when the rains don't come, the wells dry up and there's no running water. His hacking, recurring cough expresses his displeasure.
For no apparent reason, Felder's son, on his tenth birthday, decided to change his name from Chuck to Shecky. The boy, whose main interest was plumbing equipment, gave no explanation. But he was so insistent that Felder went ahead and picked up the necessary forms at city hall one day after work, though he had no intention of actually mailing them off once the child had filled them out.
There's a Great Dane at large in Hollywood and, off screen or on, it may take more than a couple of cinematic supermen to tame her. The lady in question is a glorious example of Danish modern called Brigitte Nielsen, nearly six feet tall, redheaded or blonde or brunette as the spirit moves her and, at the age of 21, a top-rung European model who beat out hundreds of competitors for the title role in Red Sonja. Playing a character created by Robert E. Howard, the author of the Conan series, in an adventure epic presented by Dino De Laurentiis, Brigitte follows in the footsteps of such earlier De Laurentiis discoveries as Jessica Lange. Not a bad start. Her co-star in Sonja is that Conan/Terminator hunk, Arnold Schwarzenegger. But talk about muscle: Privately, and on occasion quite publicly (cozying up with him in the pages of People, for example), Brigitte has also been discovered by Rocky's illustrious alter ego, Sylvester Stallone, a man who obviously knows a hot property when he sees one. More later re Sly and Gitte (pronounced ghee-ta, with a hard "G"), as she's known to intimates. But how, you ask, does a girl make the leap from Copenhagen to a place in the limelight with the likes of Conan and Rocky? Being drop-dead beautiful is a big help. Walk with her through a hotel lobby or a smart Manhattan restaurant and you'll note that the ripple effect of her passage is about as understated as a flash flood. So it's hard to stifle a hoot of skepticism when she launches the standard wallflower-to-whistle-bait tale of an ugly-duckling childhood. "Yah, it's true," Brigitte insists in slangy, slightly accented English. "I was as tall as I am now, skinny like a match, my teeth all over. I wore braces and had a terrible time at school. All the other girls had tits and were going with boys, but I was very, very late developing."
"My husband, the cop. Always has to be the big man. One of the neighbors gets a ticket, they show up on our doorstep. 'Hey, Jimmy, old buddy, can you fix this for me? I swear the light was yellow. Can you fix it?'
The current trend in campus fashion is layered,very preppie and colorful. Best of all, the layered look ensures that you'll always have something to wrap around your girlfriend in chilly weather. Heavy knit sweaters are great substitutes for a blanket when the two of you entertain a sudden compulsion to lie down in the park. So check out these duds and make your choices. Will being well dressed make you a better student? That's academic.
I went to a conference in New York recently that was called Changing Men's Roles in a Changing World. It was sponsored by the American Friends Service Committee, and on opening night the meeting hall was jammed. About two thirds of the audience were men. The keynote speaker was a sandy-haired, handsome fellow named William Caldicott, who is a pediatrician and a leader of the antiwar, antinuke movement. He admitted right away that he didn't know much about men per se, aside from being one. But that didn't stop him from making his point. Men, he said, not women, were responsible for war. Men were the bad guys when it came to violence and aggression. And the only way to stop war was for us men to get our act together and reform--to become, that is, more like women. On the subject of war and peace, he said, women were definitely "better" than men. Better people. More moral.
The more fun Venice Kong is having, the higher her voice pitch goes. On especially playful days, you're not sure whether it's Venice or Memorex. She's just naturally bubbly and effusive, though you wouldn't have thought so if you'd met her eight years ago.
Nobody knows exactly when the quiet man turned the corner--they don't call him the quiet man for nothing--but somewhere along the line, Doug Campbell, a ten-year reporter at The Philadelphia Inquirer, came to a point in his life where he did not love his newspaper at all.
Cocktail-party palaver is a reasonably accurate barometer of the concerns of those who set the pace and stir social trends. Topics run in cycles. Today, as likely as not, the conversation centers on fitness: aerobics, jogging, stretching exercises, Universal and Nautilus machines, pectoral definition and the relative merits of rival body shops. Lately, dedicated practitioners of fitness have been shifting their focus from the gym to the table, and references to high-fiber diets, whole grains, H.D.L.s (the good lipoproteins), cholesterol and sodium are abroad in the land. How can anyone fault the ideal of fitness? But we think the nutritional activists are missing something. Why not expand the use of that stuff to places it's not currently applied or expected--for example, a variety of cocktails and coolers? There are little-known, largely unexplored beverages that lend themselves to use as mixers, creating interesting drinks. Call them health kicks. Some of these items are fairly recent arrivals on the shelves, and a number are easier to find in health-food or specialty-food emporiums. For the most part, you just wouldn't associate them with alcoholic beverages. Nectars, the largest individual category in the group, offer the greatest versatility. Among the dozen or so currently available are a clutch of exotic numbers derived from tropical fruits that are especially intriguing as mixers. How would you like to try a mango cooler, a passion-fruit double passion, a pomegranate Sangria, a guava wine chill or a papaya colada?
He awakened in a place that was not a room but a cosmos. At first he recognized nothing, not even his own mountainous body. Because he was not a man now, shapes no longer had the same meaning; he could not tell the ceiling from the floor.
So you want to know which teams will go to the Super Bowl this year? It's easy. Of the dozen or so most talented squads in the league, the two with the fewest injuries will make it to New Orleans next January 26. The quality of officiating and lucky bounces of the ball will have their effects, but the best ticket to Super Bowl XX will be a clean bill of health.
One marvelous thing about actor/comedian Billy Crystal is that although he has portrayed so many marvelous characters on "Saturday Night Live," "Soap" and "The Billy Crystal Comedy Hour"--not to mention the first pregnant man, in the film "Rabbit Test"--he is absolutely marvelous just being himself, even though he is not related to Marvelous Marvin Hagler. Do you know what we're saying, darlings? And we feel we must tell you that he is, of course, a marvelous husband and father. We asked Contributing Editor David Rensin to meet with Crystal in his small but marvelously appointed NBC office. Said Rensin after the interview, "He looked great."
No one is quite sure when it all began. Some people point to recent pop music-- Cyndi Lauper's Money Changes Every-thing, Madonna's Material. Girl--as the best barometer of the changing mood on campus. Then again, it's been more than 20 years since the Beatles remade Money (Thai's What I Want). In music, as in pop culture, what comes around goes around.
Some businesses are born on Wall Street and some students go to college for a degree. And then there are businesses such as Fast Breaks, which was dreamed up two years ago as an entrepreneur-club idea by 17 Indiana University students. Their concept was simple but brilliant: Fast Breaks would charge a premium to deliver hamburgers, fried chicken, tacos and pizza from a fast-food strip on the outskirts of Bloomington to the thousands of students marooned without cars in IU's dormitories.
Back, or, by the Great God Crom, you shall taste my steel!By the Great Tarim's blood, steel hasn't been invented yet!Come with me, wench, or, by the Great Spider of Ishtar, you'll be dragged!By the Great Leapin' Lizards, I come!Getting off!Cut!
The second most annoying thing about modern life is getting phone calls when you don't want them. The most annoying thing is not getting the ones you do want. Solutions to this problem have included the extension cord and the extra phone. Then came the car phone. Now come portable forms of telecommunication that will keep your long lines humming during those times you are between your office, your home and your car. Modern technology holds the phone for you in a briefcase or something that looks like a Third World attaché. One converts from car phone to walk phone, and they all let you see what you've dialed by way of an LCD readout. Start talking.
Like jeans and the buttondown shirt, that classic collegiate staple the crew-neck sweater just never fades away. This year, it's back in bold new guises that combine a bulky, textured look with jewel-colored patterns that add dimensional pop. The current crop of crews also has a subtle old-money richness that hints of lawn parties in the Hamptons and motoring in the family Jaguar XK-120. Crews go well with chinos and are equally right worn layered with a tweed jacket or a blue blazer. In fact, about the only way we don't like a crew is with a tie knotted out of sight underneath it, making the wearer look as though he's going through a delayed adolescence.
Starting in October, we're going to say so long to the staple in the centerfold. For those of you who like the inspiring presence of the Playmate on your cork walls, the Gatefold will come out of the magazine untorn and as pretty as a picture. For those of you who think that Playboy has an enduring quality, the magazine will have a rigid spine, the better to stand erect on your shelf. This is our last Staplebound issue. You may want to keep it in a special place--along with the one coming next month. They're both bound to be Collector's items.