Issue: 19840101

Sunday, January 1, 1984
000361
January
1
True
31
Sunday, July 20, 2014
8/4/2016 12:15:38 AM

Articles
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[The following text appears on the cover]
200050_19840101_052034.xml
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Toyota Motor Sales
Car
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200050_19840101_052035.xml
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Seagram Distillers Co.
Whisky
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200050_19840101_052036.xml
article
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From the Editor
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Playbill
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Welcome to the 30th Anniversary Issue of Playboy, a special edition already worth $4.01 on the collector's market. For those who keep track of such things, this is the 361st issue of Playboy to hit the stands since that Hefner fellow started it all in December 1953. So far, we have presented 363 Playmates of the Month (their smiles revealing 11,616 gleaming teeth), 4505 Party Jokes (resulting in 45,050,000 chortles), innumerable sports cars and tweed jackets, hundreds of award-winning articles and pieces of fiction and more--just about everything from soup (Souped-Up Soups, by Emanuel Greenberg, October 1971) to nuts (The Playboy Interview: Cheech and Chong, September 1982).
200050_19840101_052037.xml
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Frangelico
Frangelico
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200050_19840101_052038.xml
masthead
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Copyright
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Address_Copyright_Credit
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General Offices: Playboy Building, 919 North Michigan Ave., Chicago, Illinois 60611. Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings and photographs submitted if they are to be returned and no responsibility can be assumed for unsolicited materials. All rights in letters sent to Playboy will be treated as unconditionally assigned for publication and copyright purposes and as subject to Playboy's unrestricted right to edit and to comment editorially. Contents Copyright © 1983 by Playboy. All Rights Reserved. Playboy and Rabbit Head Symbol are marks of Playboy, Registered U.S., Patent Office, Marca Registrada, Marque Déposée. Nothing may be reprinted in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. Any similarity between the people and places in the fiction and semifiction in this magazine and any real people and places is purely coincidental. Credits: Photography by: Don Bronstein, P. 98; Tom Burrell, P. 8 (3), 286-287; Mario Casilli, P. 101, 108; CBS, P. 15; David Chan, P. 104; John Derek, P. 97; Nicholas Desciose, P. 104 (2); Phillip Dixon, P. 100; J. Verser Engelhard, P. 89; Richard Fegley, P. 109, 195; Arny Freytag, P. 102, 130, 135, 192 (2), 196, 197, 199; A. Frontoni, P. 107; Lori Grinker, P. 15; R. Scott Hooper, P. 197; Arthur James, P. 98; Tom Kelley, P. 96; Tony Kent, P. 106; Douglas Kirkland, P. 103; Kobrin/Globe, P. 99; Stan Malinowski, P. 107; Ken Marcus, P. 102, 106, 190; David Mecey, P. 130, 131, 132 (2), 137, 286; Kerry Morris, P. 7 (2), 8, 134, 194, 198; J. Barry O'Rourke, P. 89; Mickey Pallas, P. 98; Pompeo Posar, P. 104 (2), 105, 108, 133 (2), 134 (2), 135 (2), 136, 137, 193; Oscar Pugliese, P. 7; Joe Ross, P. 136; Franco Rubartelli, P. 100; Frank Schallwig, P. 99; Dennis Silverstein, P. 7; Vernon L. Smith, P. 7 (4), 8 (3); Anthony Suau, P. 131; Joyce Townsend, P. 135; Alexis Urba, P. 89; Laurent Vergez, P. 103; Steve Wayda, P. 133, 136,191; John Whitman, P. 8; Larry Yarchever, P. 15; Photography of sculpture Toynbee Convector by Richard Izui, P. 152-153. Illustration by: Robert Crawford, P. 38; David Lee-Csicsko, P. 37; Mary Anne Enriquez, P. 287 (2); Brian Feuchtinger, P. 28; Melinda Gordon, P. 286; Frank Lindner, P. 34; Dennis Magdich, P. 44; George Masi, P. 71 (2); Paul Moch, P. 42; Pat Nagel, P. 27, 61, 69, 287; Nyung Suk Choi, P. 286; John Rush, P. 59; Card Tricks; Back Design Property of the U.S. Playing Cards Co., P. 118-121; "Cunts" © 1973 by John Updike, P. 162-163. Inserts: Sony Card Insert between pages 20-21, 274-275; Seagrams Insert between pages 78-79, 216-217.
200050_19840101_052039.xml
tableOfContents
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Table of Contents
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Contents for the Men's Entertainment Magazine
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Playbill ................................ 7
200050_19840101_052040.xml
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Jack Daniel Distillery
Jack Daniel
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200050_19840101_052041.xml
masthead
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Masthead
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Masthead
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Hugh M. Hefner,editor and publisher
200050_19840101_052042.xml
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Marcy Fitness Products
Marcy
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200050_19840101_052043.xml
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R.J Reynolds Tobacco Co.
Bright
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200050_19840101_052044.xml
article
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15
News
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The World of Playboy
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It's Always Happy Hour at Hef's
200050_19840101_052045.xml
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16,17
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Schieffelin & Co.
Hennessy
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200050_19840101_052046.xml
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De Beers
Diamond
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200050_19840101_052047.xml
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Kay Jewellers
Diamond
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200050_19840101_052048.xml
article
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19,20
Letters to the Editor
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Dear Playboy
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Straight Talk on Aids
200050_19840101_052049.xml
other
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Indicia
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Indicia
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Playboy, (ISSN 0032-1478), January, 1984, Volume 31, Number 1. Published Monthly by Playboy, Playboy Bldg, 919 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60611. Subscriptions: In the United States and its possessions, $54 for 36 issues, $38 for 24 issues, $22 for 12 issues. Canada, $27 for 12 issues. Elsewhere, $35 for 12 issues. Allow 45 days for new subscriptions and renewals. Change of address: Send both old and new addresses to Playboy, Post Office Box 2420, Boulder, Colorado 80302, and allow 45 days for change. Marketing: Walter Joyce, Divisional Promotion Director; Ed Condon, Director/Direct Marketing; Jack Bernstein, Circulation Promotion Director. Advertising: Charles M. Stentiford, Advertising Director; Harold Duchin, National Sales Manager; Michael Druckman, New York Sales Manager; Milt Kaplan, Fashion Advertising Manager, 747 Third Avenue, New York, New York 10017; Chicago 60611, Russ Weller, Associate Advertising Manager, 919 North Michigan Avenue; Troy, Michigan 48084. Jess Ballew, Manager, 3001 W. Big Beaver Road; Los Angeles 90010, Stanley L. Perkins, Manager, 4311 Wilshire Boulevard; San Francisco 94104, Tom Jones, Manager, 417 Montgomery Street.
200050_19840101_052050.xml
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Sony Corp.
Sony Corp.
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200050_19840101_052051.xml
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ABC, Inc.
Car
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200050_19840101_052052.xml
review
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27,28
Review
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Playboy After Hours
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Wiped Out
200050_19840101_052053.xml
article
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News
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New Telecommunications Technology
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Phones, it seems, are no longer just for talking. Already, the menus being given out by the phone companies are starting to resemble a communications "Kama Sutra." If you can't use call forwarding, teleconferencing or data transmission, how about burglar detection and climate control? Phone services are quickly becoming the new status symbols, and it has not been lost on communications entrepreneurs that the central action in the second most popular film of all time was an attempt to "phone home." High-tech wizards are betting that the new phone consumer will pay not just for communication but also for options geared toward manipulation, intimidation and avoidance. Andrew Feinberg suggests some extras that will soon be available.
200050_19840101_052054.xml
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John Dekuyper & Sons.
Peppermint Schnapps
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200050_19840101_052055.xml
review
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Review-Books
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Books
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It's deck-the-halls time again, and we've got some terrific books to recommend. As always, Harry N. Abrams has an array of spectacular coffee-table books. Among them: The Gilbert and Sullivan Operas, by Darlene Geis, Jacques Cousteau's Calypso and our own LeRoy Neiman's Winners: My Thirty Years in Sports. Each would make a fine gift for the right person.
200050_19840101_052056.xml
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Browne Vintners Co.
Browne Vintners Co.
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200050_19840101_052057.xml
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Panasonic
TV
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200050_19840101_052058.xml
review
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Review-Recorded Music
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Music
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Barbara Nellis
Rock 'N' Roll and Mistletoe: If the holiday season doesn't send you wandering through the stores humming along to canned Christmas carols, then we've got some great ideas for gifts with your music lover in mind.
200050_19840101_052059.xml
review
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Review-Recorded Music
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Reviews
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The Stray Cats don't stray much from what they do best, but why should they? They plunk 'n' twang as though Bill Haley's comet had just come round the first time, and for a little while, you can forget the synthesizer was ever invented. Rant n' Rave with the Stray Cats (EMI America), their Dave Edmunds-produced third album, is so pure there's a monotony to it. You won't want to sit and listen, but you'll sure want to jitterbug.
200050_19840101_052060.xml
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Renfield Importers Ltd.
Pinch
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200050_19840101_052061.xml
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Playboy
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200050_19840101_052062.xml
article
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News
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Trust Us
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Hot
200050_19840101_052063.xml
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Clarion
Clarion
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200050_19840101_052064.xml
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R.J Reynolds Tobacco Co.
Camel
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200050_19840101_052065.xml
review
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Review-Recorded Music
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Fast Tracks
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Barbara Nellis
Let's Twist Again, Like We Did Last Summer: If the movie Animal House revitalized the golden oldie Louie Louie, a California radio station took it one step further last summer, playing the song's 400 recorded versions back to back. The composer, Richard Berry, said that when he wrote it, he had nothing obscene in mind--but you try to tell that to a couple of generations of college kids. For those of us in the rest of America who missed the marathon, Rhino records is releasing an album with eight versions of the song on it, ranging from an M.O.R. take by The Sandpipers to a punk send-up by Black Flag. You get your toga and we'll get the beer.
200050_19840101_052066.xml
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Austin Nichols Distilling Co.
Wild Turkey
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200050_19840101_052067.xml
review
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Review-Television
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Television
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Tony Schwartz
As Long as I've known anything about television ratings, I've been suspicious of them. So has nearly everyone I've ever met. How, we've all wondered, could A. C. Nielsen or its main competitor, Arbitron, find a couple of thousand households whose viewing habits perfectly mirror what the rest of us watch each day? There are, after all, 84,000,000 homes now equipped with television. Which means that each home metered by Nielsen, for example, stands for about 50,000 households.
200050_19840101_052068.xml
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Zales
Diamond
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200050_19840101_052069.xml
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Playboy Products
Playboy
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200050_19840101_052070.xml
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Jean Patou
Joy
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200050_19840101_052071.xml
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R.J Reynolds Tobacco Co.
Winston
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200050_19840101_052072.xml
review
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Review-Films
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Movies
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Bruce Williamson
Fasten your seat belts for the visual and visceral excitement of The Right Stuff (Warner/Ladd), an enthralling experience on film. Writer-director Philip Kaufman's vibrant, more-than-three-hour-long adaptation of Tom Wolfe's 1979 best seller is a rah-rah American epic in praise of test pilots and the first seven Mercury astronauts, transporting us back to that golden age of innocence and awe when Alan Shepard's suborbital televised space flight had the whole goggle-eyed nation cheering. Almost immediately, Right Stuff begins to zoom--with the breaking of the sound barrier at a Godforsaken Western air base where Sam Shepard, as veteran test pilot Chuck Yeager, oozes earthy charisma while setting the tone for all the aerodynamic miracles to come.
200050_19840101_052073.xml
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Kahlua
Liqueur
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200050_19840101_052074.xml
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Polaroid Corp.
Camera
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200050_19840101_052075.xml
review
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Review-Films
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Movie Score Card
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Bruce Williamson
The Ballad of Gregorio Cortez Miscarriage of justice in 1901 Texas.[rating]2-1/2 bunnies[/rating]
200050_19840101_052076.xml
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Margrace Corp.
Bullworker Body
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200050_19840101_052077.xml
advertisement
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54B
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Playboy
Playboy
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200050_19840101_052078.xml
review
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Review
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Coming Attractions
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John Blumenthal
Idol Gossip: After a brief sojourn on Broadway, Robert Altman will return to feature-film directing with MGM/UA's youth comedy O.C. and Stiggs, A story involving the summertime adventures of two teenaged boys. Written by National Lampooners Tod Carroll and Ted Mann, the flick stars Martin Mull, Dennis Hopper, Tina Louise, Dan Jenkins and Neil Barry.... Diane Keaton has been tapped to star in The Little Drummer Girl, a film version of John le Carré's latest spy thriller. George Roy Hill will direct.... Diner'sMickey Rourke will co-star with Eric Roberts in The Pope of Greenwich Village....Sidney Sheldon's best-selling thriller The Naked Face will be brought to the screen with Roger Moore and Rod Steiger in the lead roles.... NBC's roster of future telepix includes A.I.D.S., a drama about parents who discover that their son is a homosexual dying of the disease; My Life as a Man, based on the Village Voice cover story about a female reporter who disguised herself as a male for six months; and Imagine: The Love Story of John Lennon and Yoko Ono.....Ronny (Deliverance) Cox and Lois Chiles have been set to star in Courage, the story of three marathon runners who become victimized by a right-wing-citizens' brigade training in the desert.... Albert Finney, Jacqueline Bisset and Anthony (Brideshead Revisited) Andrews co-star in John Huston'sUnder the Volcano, based on the famous novel by Malcolm Lowry.... Peter (Outland) Hyams has been set to write and direct the film version of Arthur C. Clarke's2010: Odyssey Two (excerpted in Playboy in 1982). Writer-director Hyams reportedly claims that the sequel will, among other things, clarify many of the mysteries contained in the original.
200050_19840101_052079.xml
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Korbel & Bros
Korbel
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200050_19840101_052080.xml
article
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News
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How to Please a Man
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Asa Baber
It had to happen, right? Eventually, there had to be some advice from a man to women about sex and life and love and ways to attract the opposite sex. Until now, it's mostly been the other way around. Men searched for ways to decipher women, ways to please them, enjoy them, seduce them. But times have changed, and with that change has come discord and confusion. Here on this page, a revolutionary concept is being born. The burden is heavy, but I accept the responsibility of explaining to women what men want. If any of you women out there have any questions about this, just call me. I'm a hell of a guy, and I think I can help you.
200050_19840101_052081.xml
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Twentieth Century Fox.
John Travolta
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200050_19840101_052082.xml
article
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News
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Oral Sex--How to Do It
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Cynthia Heimel
Most Men do not like to be objects of derision at parties, even indirectly. And yet, friendly reader, I was at a very posh, very glittering, very Manhattan party not long ago where the male of our species was verbally ground to bits under the stiletto heel of female ridicule.
200050_19840101_052083.xml
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Somerset Importers. Ltd
Johnnie Walker
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200050_19840101_052084.xml
article
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Reader QA
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The Playboy Advisor
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You came close a few months back to answering one of my biggest questions, and I wish I had written then.
200050_19840101_052085.xml
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Fyre Shoe Co.
Shoe
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200050_19840101_052086.xml
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Playboy Playmate Calendar
Mixture
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200050_19840101_052087.xml
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John Fyre Shoe Co.
Shoe
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200050_19840101_052088.xml
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Beefeater
Dry Gin
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200050_19840101_052089.xml
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Whistler
Whistler
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200050_19840101_052090.xml
article
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News
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Dear Playmates
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Here's a question that intrigues us. It deals with the kind of information that women often share with one another but are reluctant to share with men. We asked our Playmate experts to talk about what really turns them on and why men sometimes need to be educated.
200050_19840101_052091.xml
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Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey
Eagle Rare
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200050_19840101_052092.xml
article
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69,70,75
Reader Discussion
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The Playboy Forum
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"Studds-Crane Warning"
200050_19840101_052093.xml
article
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Reader Discussion
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Forum Newsfront
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Nice Try
200050_19840101_052094.xml
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W.A Taylor & Co.
Courvoisier
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200050_19840101_052095.xml
article
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74,75
News
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A Little Marching Music, Please
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William J. Helmer
"The Playboy Philosophy" is predicated on our belief in the importance of the individual and his rights as a member of a free society. That's our most basic premise--the starting point from which everything else in which we believe evolves.
200050_19840101_052096.xml
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Philip Morris Inc.
Merit
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200050_19840101_052097.xml
article
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77,78,79,80,81,82,84,85,86,88,264,268,270,272,274
Playboy Interview
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Dan Rather
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No sooner did Dan Rather take over the most coveted job in television news two and a half years ago--anchor man of the "CBS Evening News"--than the critics began to ask whether he could possibly survive in the job.
200050_19840101_052098.xml
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Seagram Distillers Co.
Crown Royal
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200050_19840101_052099.xml
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78B
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General Wine & Spirits Co.
Chivas Regal
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200050_19840101_052100.xml
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Shure
Shure
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200050_19840101_052101.xml
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Uniden
Phone
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200050_19840101_052102.xml
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James Beam Distilling Co.
Jim Beam
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200050_19840101_052103.xml
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84,85
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Memtek Products
Cassette
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200050_19840101_052104.xml
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Gordons Dry Gin
Gordon's
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200050_19840101_052105.xml
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Playboy
Playboy
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200050_19840101_052106.xml
article
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90,91,94,128,248,249A,251,252
Feature
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The Trail of Your Blood on the Snow
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Gabriel García Márquez
author of One Hundred Years of Solitude
200050_19840101_052107.xml
article
92
92,93,230
Humor
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How I Invented Playboy
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[no value]
Buck Henry
Late one night in Greenwich Village, early in the Fifties, there was a scratching at my door. When I opened it, a bedraggled, sodden specimen of what once had probably been a decent young middle-class man fell into my apartment babbling incoherently about needing money for a magazine. I thought, of course, that he wanted to buy Time or Newsweek to catch up on the news. Since that seemed like a nice thing for a man who was so down and out to want to do, I gave him 45 cents for a magazine and an extra nickel for a cup of coffee to drink while he was reading. Apparently, it was that 50 cents that started him up the ladder to what became this extraordinary empire.
200050_19840101_052108.xml
article
95
95
Cartoon
[no value]
Cartoon
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Eldon Dedini
[no value]
200050_19840101_052109.xml
pictorial
96
96,97,98,99,100,101,102,103,104,105,106,107,108,109
Pictorial
[no value]
30 Memorable Years
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Playboy is often its own media event. Beginning with our first issue, we seem to have something of an art of making news. That first issue--which came out in December 1953 without a cover date, because Hugh Hefner wasn't sure there would be a second issue--created an instant commotion. For more than a year, a rumor had been spreading that Marilyn Monroe had posed for a girlie calendar in 1949. Everybody knew about Marilyn--she had been a hit in The Asphalt Jungle--but few had actually seen the calendar. In April 1952, Life magazine published a miniature two-color cut of one pose, but Hefner discovered that photographer Tom Kelley had taken another, better picture, and he acquired it for the first Playboy. Not only did the issue sell an astonishing 77 percent of its copies but Hefner's coup was widely reported in newspapers as well as in Time. Playboy has seldom been out of the headlines since. The most frequently cited source of controversy is the Playboy Interview--who knew that what lurked in Jimmy Carter's heart would become a campaign issue? Many of our pictorials have had a comparable impact on the media. Many more have become etched in readers' minds--stopping their mental traffic. Our past 30 years have included riveting pictures of celebrity Playmates (Jayne Mansfield, Stella Stevens, Dorothy Stratten, Shannon Tweed); a celebrity Playmate candidate (Suzanne Somers); famous actresses (Brigitte Bardot, Elke Sommer, Jill St. John, Kim Novak, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Gina Lollobrigida, Catherine Deneuve, Ann-Mar-gret, Dominique Sanda, Margot Kidder, Victoria Principal, Valerie Perrine, Susan Sarandon, Bernadette Peters, Maud Adams, Raquel Welch); as well as the previously unknown--such as the Ohio patrolwoman Barbara Schantz and the Florida stock-broker Marina Verola, whose nude portraits in the magazine got them in hot water with their edgy employers. Perhaps most memorably intolerant were the N.F.I., owners who fired cheerleaders who posed without their pompons for a December 1978 pictorial. Happily, many of the women so treated wound up with better job due to their exposure in Playboy.
200050_19840101_052110.xml
article
110
110,111,112,113,234
Feature
[no value]
Remembering Tennesee
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Truman Capote
"Tennessee Williams dead at 71"
200050_19840101_052111.xml
pictorial
114
114,115,116,117
Pictorial
[no value]
Provocative Period Pieces
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Playboy proudly invites you to another exclusive showing of the erotic-art collection of Boston connoisseur Charles Martignette. We've featured pieces from this world-renowned collection before (see our October 1980 and January 1983 issues), but we think the selection on these pages is the finest yet. Just in case you thought everybody fell asleep after the Gay Nineties, these pieces--mostly from the art nouveau and art-deco periods in the early years of this century--prove otherwise. No wonder the Twenties were roaring.
200050_19840101_052112.xml
article
118
118,119,120,121
Feature
[no value]
Playboy Magic for the Holidays
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
John Railing
Here's an inside look at four of the best--and easiest--tricks this side of Times Square. The first two, which require only the playing cards on the opposite page, you can prestidigitate right out of your wallet. For the others, you'll need two matches, two paper clips and a dollar bill. The effects you'll be spinning out may seem simple, but that's the key to all great magic. As your cards jump and transform, your matches pass through each other and your paper clips link and fly away, your audience will gasp. Learn to do each of these effects smoothly and you'll have four great entertainments for those slow holiday parties.
200050_19840101_052113.xml
article
122
122,123,260,262
Feature
[no value]
The Idea Killers
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
The American Civil Liberties Union, of which I am an ardent supporter, has suggested that I may be the most censored writer in America. I only wish that my parents had lived to hear that said of me. My father's dying words were, "You will never amount to a hill of beans." He didn't really say that. I am making what we call a joke. Jokes are protected by the First Amendment to our Constitution. Even jokes about God Almighty.
200050_19840101_052114.xml
pictorial
124
124,125,126,127
Pictorial
[no value]
The Today Show
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Hollis Wayne
Alexander Julian, Ron Chereskin, Sal Cesarani and Robert Comstock are the heavy-duty mavens of menswear design who are previewing spring 1984 outfits on these pages. Expect menswear for spring to be loose and comfortable, tailored for the active man who wants his wardrobe to retain a touch of elegance without looking fussy. Chereskin likes "dressy, pulled-together sports clothes," while Cesarani thinks clothing "should be of the lightest weight and least amount of construction." Any chance the shapeless, no-style spring looks that we used to see year after year will return to the market place? Quoth the mavens ... "Nevermore!"
200050_19840101_052115.xml
article
129
129
Cartoon
[no value]
Cartoon
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Bernard Kliban
[no value]
200050_19840101_052116.xml
article
131
130,131,132,133,134,135,136,137,217
Feature
[no value]
The Great 30th Anniversary Playmate Search
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
A Well-known record producer once told us, "The only way to find a hit record is to listen to as many new songs as possible--and trust that you'll know what you're listening for when you hear it." In a way, that's how we approached our nationwide search for our 30th Anniversary Playmate. In our case, we were looking for something much more special--and far rarer--than a hit record. Feminine beauty, like music, is infinitely varied; and if you ask us how we hoped to recognize a 30th Anniversary Playmate from one Polaroid snapshot among the thousands we took in 31 cities, we really can't tell you. We just knew from experience that when we found her, we would feel it. It wouldn't be a cold calculation based on any preconception about the tilt of her nose, the color of her eyes or the size of her breasts. It would be a gut thing based (text concluded on page 217) Playmate Search (continued from page 131) on who she was. We began our search on April 25 in New York, Miami, Oklahoma City and Las Vegas and ended it on June 30 in Chicago. And, as often happens, we found that we'd gone a long way to find what we were looking for right at home.
200050_19840101_052117.xml
pictorial
138
138,139,140,141,142,143,144,145,146-148,149,228
Playmate
[no value]
Penny Baker, Miss January, 1984, 30th Anniversary Playmate
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Arny Freytag
Pause awhile before you read on. Gaze into the eyes of the woman on the opposite page. Thank you. You see, we traveled thousands of miles, shot thousands of Polaroids and interviewed thousands of women to find her. And now that we've found her, our greatest reward is in sharing her beauty with you. When Penny Baker entered our 30th Anniversary Playmate Hunt last August in our home town, Chicago, she chanced to meet our Associate Photography Editor Janice Moses. Moses recalls, "She was pretty, sweet, bright, refreshing and fairly confident for a 17-year-old." And today, that description still fits Penny except for two things: She's now 18 and she's a tad (text concluded on page 228) Luck Penny (continued from page 138) more confident, because we've chosen her to crown Playboy's three decades of America's most beautiful women.
200050_19840101_052118.xml
article
150
150
Humor
[no value]
Playboy's Party Jokes
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
How do you plan to celebrate New Year's Eve?" the fellow was asked.
200050_19840101_052119.xml
article
151
151
Cartoon
[no value]
Cartoon
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Rowland B. Wilson
[no value]
200050_19840101_052120.xml
article
152
152,153,154,158,230,232
Feature
[no value]
The Toynbee Convector
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Ray Bradbury
"Good! Great! Bravo for me!"
200050_19840101_052121.xml
article
155
155,242
Humor
[no value]
What are Friends For?
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Art Buchwald
It was 12 goddamn o'clock at night, and the goddamn knocking on the door wouldn't stop. I put on a bathrobe and went into the living room.
200050_19840101_052122.xml
article
156
156,157
Humor
[no value]
That Was the Year That Was
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Tom Koch
With Sally Ride in space, we moved
200050_19840101_052123.xml
pictorial
159
159,160,161
Pictorial
[no value]
The Eleventh-Hour Santa
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052124.xml
article
162
162,163
Poem
[no value]
Cunts
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
John Updike
The Venus de Milo didn't have one, at least no pussy
200050_19840101_052125.xml
pictorial
165
164,165,166,167,168,169,170,171,172,173,244
Pictorial
[no value]
Star 80
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
For those who never knew her, the tragic tale of Dorothy Stratten seems natural movie material. Dorothy left a job behind a Dairy Queen counter in Vancouver, British Columbia, became our Playmate of the Year in 1980 and was setting out on what promised to be a glittering movie career. Then she was shot and killed by her husband, Paul Snider, who subsequently took his own life. Since then, her story has taken on a number of lives of its own.
200050_19840101_052126.xml
article
175
174,175,176,177,200,252,254,256,257,258
Feature
[no value]
Dare to Be...Wrong
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Roy Blount Jr.
Fucking up is not what it used to be. Sure, there are plenty of people around these days whom you could call fuck-ups; but I'm talking about celebrative, life-enhancing, go-get-'em fucking up, a traditional male imperative. There used to be politicians like Big Jim Folsom, governor of Alabama in the late Forties and the early Fifties, Folsom was a liberal redneck who snorted at segregationist blowhards, drank with Adam Clayton Powell and once fell out of the gubernatorial jeep while inspecting R.O.T.C. troops at the University of Alabama. Would you vote for a man who would inspect R.O.T.C. troops sober? When accused of involvement with an attractive blonde not his wife, he said the whole thing was (continued on page 200)Dare to be Wrong(continued from page 177) political, and if his enemies were going to stoop to using such bait, "they're going to have to catch Big Jim every time." Many another indiscretion was laid at his doorstep, and he said, "I plead guilty. I always plead guilty. Now, why don't we get on with the issues here?"
200050_19840101_052127.xml
article
178
178,179,180,236,238,240,241
Feature
[no value]
Shadowboxer
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Mark Kram
Two years retired, Muhammad Ali lives in a closely guarded compound called Fremont Place, hard by the Hollywood glitterati and far from reality. The big homes with their sculpted lawns and shrubbery seem to sit there amid eternal euphoria, in a world without disorder. There is not much sound here, just the swish of fronds in high trees. It's like a still life that shows how the rich and famous keep their distance.
200050_19840101_052128.xml
pictorial
181
181,182,183
Pictorial
[no value]
The Last Nude Photo of Marilyn Monroe
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
The letter that came to Photography Director Gary Cole began simply enough: "Long time, no see." Swedish photographer Leif-Erik Nygärds was writing to re-establish contact, to give and solicit news about the two men's families. At the end of the letter, he reminded Cole that back in 1962, while working for Bert Stern, he had been the assistant on the shooting that produced the last nude pictures of Marilyn Monroe. As a matter of fact, Erik said, he had taken the last photo.
200050_19840101_052129.xml
article
184
184,185,188,204,222,224,226
Feature
[no value]
What I've Learned About Being a Man
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Irwin Shaw
I should have known I was letting myself in for trouble when I agreed to do a piece for the 30th Anniversary Issue of Playboy and the editor who called me mentioned that the magazine had chosen as a subject "The Things I've Learned About Manhood That You Can Learn Only Through Experience." Manhood is a peculiar word in this day and age, objectionable to the ladies and with all sorts of dubious Hemingway overtones, and I was not sure that I wanted to defend my attainment of this particular eminence, if it actually existed, in the pages of a magazine in which the unabashed female figure plays such a large part.
200050_19840101_052130.xml
article
186
186,187,274,276
Feature
[no value]
Cocktail Construction
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Emanuel Greenberg
It doesn't take much more than a generous hand, decent whisky, a comfortable glass and hard-frozen ice to fix an unimpeachable Scotch on the rocks. But a cocktail is something else again. It helps to know that a recipe is essentially a chemical formula, and drinks are not so much mixed as built. You want to measure ingredients as meticulously as a draftsman constructs a blueprint. It won't ruin a drink if you're a few milliliters off, but a (continued on page 274) Cocktail Construction(continued from page 187) connoisseur of that particular call will perceive a difference. So give the following formulas your personal best--and serve up 1984 in style.
200050_19840101_052131.xml
pictorial
189
189,190,191,192,193,194,195,196,197,198,199
Pictorial
[no value]
Playboy's Playmate Review
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
All right. Guys. Pull out your pocket computers. Today's question is, What is 65'2" tall, weighs 1303 pounds, measures 417" X 273" X 408", speaks German, English, Spanish, Swedish and Valley girl, thinks a good time is a quiet evening at home in front of a fire with wine and friends, and is a little bit pregnant? Need a helping hand? Imagine an even dozen of the world's most beautiful young women. Got it now? Right. This is our Playmate Review, this year's dozen who brought new meaning to the term girl next door. We have Playmates from Utah and two from the East Coast, as well as Playmates from Sweden, Germany and Argentina. At incredible expense, we brought them together for this pictorial encore. Hold your applause, please, until you've seen them all.
200050_19840101_052132.xml
article
201
201
Cartoon
[no value]
Cartoon
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Alden Erikson
[no value]
200050_19840101_052133.xml
advertisement
202
202,203
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Jantzen
Jantzen
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052134.xml
article
205
205,206,210,212,214,216
Feature
[no value]
What Fathers Know Best
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Many More
Ron Reagan
Arlo Guthrie
Barry Goldwater, Jr.
David Carradine
David Wallechinsky
Dean Paul Martin
Kyle Rote, Jr.
Lorenzo Lamas
Patrick Wayne
Peter Fonda
It's a scene you'll remember well. You are poised in the hallway, ready to leave the comfort and security of home and face the real world as a grownup. You're almost out the door when Dad, smoking his pipe and wearing an elbow-patched tweed jacket, puts a hand on your shoulder and invites you into the den, explaining, "There are a few things I think you should know about life before you go." A few hours later, perhaps a little dewy-eyed, you leave, better equipped for the great unknown.
200050_19840101_052135.xml
advertisement
207
207
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
White Label
John Dewar
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052136.xml
article
208
208,209
Feature
[no value]
A Guide for Prospective Husbands
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Anton Chekhov
Since the subject of this article deals with a secret intended for men only and requires a mental effort that is utterly beyond many ladies, I request fathers, husbands, officers of the law, et al., to ensure that it is never read by ladies and young maidens. The principles of this guide are not the product of a single mind but constitute the quintessence of all existing oracles, physiognomical studies, cabalistic tracts and perennial discussions with experienced husbands and with the most competent proprietresses of fashion houses.
200050_19840101_052137.xml
article
210
210
Cartoon
[no value]
Cartoon
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Virgil Partch
[no value]
200050_19840101_052138.xml
advertisement
211
211
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Chanel, Inc.
Chanel
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052139.xml
advertisement
212
212,213
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Escort
Radar
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052140.xml
article
215
215
Cartoon
[no value]
Bernard and Huey
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Jules Feiffer
I envy you, Bernard.You envy me?
200050_19840101_052141.xml
advertisement
216A
216A
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Seagram Distillers Co.
Whisky
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052142.xml
advertisement
216B
216B
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Fred L. Myers & Son Co.
Rum Cream
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052143.xml
article
217
217
Cartoon
[no value]
Cartoon
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Malcolm Hancock
[no value]
200050_19840101_052144.xml
article
218
218
Cartoon
[no value]
Saturday Nite Jive
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Bill Johnson
Good morning and happy New Year!So this is 1984. We'll finally find out if Orwell was right.
200050_19840101_052145.xml
article
218
218
Cartoon
[no value]
Annie & Albert
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
J. Michael Leonard
Now--I'm sensitive about my voice ... So don't make fun, ok?It's Christmas, babe ... You've got a lovely voice!
200050_19840101_052146.xml
article
219
219
Cartoon
[no value]
Moonshine McJugs
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Frank Thorne
Yo' Folks'll kindly 'scuse me, 'cause Barf Mc Buns done tol' me t' open this present in mah bedroom!
200050_19840101_052147.xml
article
220
220
Cartoon
[no value]
Holistic Harrp
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
John Dempsey
Ahh-Yule tide again!What does Christmas mean to you, Harry?
200050_19840101_052148.xml
article
220
220
Humor
[no value]
Neon Vincent's Massage Parlor
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Skip Williamson
All customers get a free Christmas goose.
200050_19840101_052149.xml
article
221
221
Cartoon
[no value]
Reg'lar Rabbit
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Enos
Say, cookie, have you seen reg?
200050_19840101_052150.xml
article
221
221
Cartoon
[no value]
The Loner
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Frank Baginski
Reynolds Dodson
So what's so special about new year's eve?
200050_19840101_052151.xml
article
221
221
Cartoon
[no value]
The Tales of Baron Don Furstinbed
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Creig Flessel
Ach! Ho-ho--der trap iz set!Tis der season to be cholly, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
200050_19840101_052152.xml
advertisement
223
223
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Government Of Puerto Rico
White Rum
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052153.xml
article
224
224
Cartoon
[no value]
Cartoon
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Buck Brown
[no value]
200050_19840101_052154.xml
advertisement
225
225
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Philip Morris Inc.
Marlboro
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052155.xml
article
227
227
Cartoon
[no value]
Cartoon
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Gahan Wilson
[no value]
200050_19840101_052156.xml
article
228
228
Cartoon
[no value]
Cartoon
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
V. Gene Myers
[no value]
200050_19840101_052157.xml
advertisement
229
229
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Hiram Walker Importers, Inc.
Canadian Club
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052158.xml
article
230
230
Cartoon
[no value]
Cartoon
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Don Orehek
[no value]
200050_19840101_052159.xml
advertisement
231
231
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
RCA
Recording
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052160.xml
article
232
232
Cartoon
[no value]
Cartoon
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Gahan Wilson
[no value]
200050_19840101_052161.xml
advertisement
233
233
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Nikon, Inc
Camera
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052162.xml
article
234
234
Cartoon
[no value]
Cartoon
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Leo Garel
[no value]
200050_19840101_052163.xml
advertisement
235
235
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Smirnoff
Smirnoff
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052164.xml
advertisement
237
237
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Sony Corp.
Sony
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052165.xml
article
239
239
Cartoon
[no value]
Cartoon
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Don Madden
[no value]
200050_19840101_052166.xml
advertisement
WS3
WS3
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Sambvca Romana
Sambuca Romana
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052167.xml
advertisement
WS4
WS4
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Pentax Corporation
Camera
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052168.xml
article
241
241
Cartoon
[no value]
Cartoon
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
John Dempsey
[no value]
200050_19840101_052169.xml
article
242
242
Cartoon
[no value]
Cartoon
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Sidney Harris
Give to needy Atheists & Agnostics who have no holiday at this time of year
200050_19840101_052170.xml
advertisement
243
243
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
R.J Reynolds Tobacco Co.
Salem
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052171.xml
article
244
244
Cartoon
[no value]
Cartoon
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Mort Gerberg
[no value]
200050_19840101_052172.xml
advertisement
245
245
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Southern Comfort Corp
Southern Comfort
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052173.xml
advertisement
246
246
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Panasonic
Phone
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052174.xml
article
247
247
Cartoon
[no value]
Cartoon
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Francis Wilford-Smith
[no value]
200050_19840101_052175.xml
advertisement
249
249
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Volkswagen Of America
Car
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052176.xml
article
249A
249A
Cartoon
[no value]
Cartoon
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
John Bernard Handelsman
[no value]
200050_19840101_052177.xml
advertisement
249B
249B
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Alpine
Radio
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052178.xml
advertisement
250
250
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Playboy
Playboy
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052179.xml
article
252
252
Cartoon
[no value]
Cartoon
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Delbert Polston
[no value]
200050_19840101_052180.xml
advertisement
253
253
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Pioneer Electronics
Recording
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052181.xml
article
254
254
Cartoon
[no value]
Cartoon
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Brian Savage
[no value]
200050_19840101_052182.xml
advertisement
255
255
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Indiana Jones
Video Cassette
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052183.xml
advertisement
256
256,257
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Duracell
Batteries
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052184.xml
advertisement
258
258
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Playboy
Playboy
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052185.xml
article
259
259
Cartoon
[no value]
Cartoon
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Buck Brown
[no value]
200050_19840101_052186.xml
advertisement
260
260
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Mitsubishi Electric Sales America, Inc.
Car Audio
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052187.xml
advertisement
261
261
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Soloflex
Soloflex
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052188.xml
article
262
262
News
[no value]
The Dirty Thirty
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Barbara Nellis
The books being attacked in high schools across America have an amazing range of subject matter, from the classics to the occult to the Dictionary of American Slang. Following is a list of the 30 most frequently censored titles, based on six surveys of challenged books taken between 1965 and 1982 and collated by Dr. Lee Burress of the University of Wisconsin at Stevens Point, a noted expert on censorship activity. "The most frequently stated objection is to alleged obscenity," says Dr. Burress. "That charge probably hides an objection to the ideas in the books. For example, a banker called The Grapes of Wrath obscene; an important theme in the book is criticism of ... bankers." The list is arranged in the order of the frequency of attack.
200050_19840101_052189.xml
advertisement
263
263
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Calvert Dist Co.
Lord Calvert
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052190.xml
advertisement
265
265
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Canon
Camera
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052191.xml
advertisement
266
266
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Hang Ten
Hang Ten
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052192.xml
article
267
267
Cartoon
[no value]
Cartoon
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
John Dempsey
[no value]
200050_19840101_052193.xml
advertisement
269
269
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Playboy
Playboy
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052194.xml
advertisement
270
270
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
National Distillers
Old Grand Dad
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052195.xml
advertisement
271
271
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Hitachi Sales Corporation
Video Cassette
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052196.xml
advertisement
272
272
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
National Distillers
Old Grand Dad
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052197.xml
advertisement
273
273
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Orion Pictures Corporation
Gorky Park
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052198.xml
advertisement
275
275
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Playboy
Playboy
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052199.xml
article
276
276
Cartoon
[no value]
Cartoon
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Michael Ffolkes
[no value]
200050_19840101_052200.xml
advertisement
277
277
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
R.J Reynolds Tobacco Co.
Vantage
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052201.xml
advertisement
278
278
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Julius Wile Sons & Co.
Cinzano
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052202.xml
article
279
279,280,281
Cartoon
[no value]
Little Annie Fanny
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Harvey Kurtzman
Will Elder
A Star like Moi needs standins!But why so many, Mr. Furd?Harrison Furd stand-in for the boulder-rescue scene!Your turn to stand in!Yours! Yours!
200050_19840101_052203.xml
advertisement
282
282
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Paddington Corp
J B
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052204.xml
article
283
283
News
[no value]
Audi 5000s (As in Slippery)
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Gary Witzenburg
Ever since Audi introduced its front-wheel-drive 5000 six years ago, other auto makers have been using it as a yardstick to measure their own similarly priced competitive cars. It was nimble, quick, comfortable, easy on the eye and amazingly roomy. And ever since Audi introduced it, the company has been working diligently on its successor--the 5000S, a machine that has been stretched over the same 106-inch wheelbase and fitted with one of the world's most aerodynamic bodies. At $16,480, with a five- speed transmission ($16,905 with automatic), the new 5000S is faster than the 5000(0 to 60 in 11 seconds; top speed is 109 mph) and more fuel efficient (22 mpg EPA city; 35 on the highway) with the same 100-hp, fuel-injected five-cylinder engine. While a first-rate road burner, it still tips its hat to Audi's other new car, the 140-hp Audi 5000 Turbo, which eases on down the road with beefier suspension and such luxuries as a trip computer and climate control. Check your bank balance and make your choice.
200050_19840101_052205.xml
article
284
284,285
News
[no value]
Personal Best
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052206.xml
article
286
286,287
News
[no value]
Potpourri
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
An Orwellian Calendar, by George!
200050_19840101_052207.xml
article
288
288,289
News
[no value]
Grapevine
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
The Best of Celebrity Breasts
200050_19840101_052208.xml
article
290
290
News
[no value]
Sex News
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
The Natural Erection, Or "Look Ma, No Hands"
200050_19840101_052209.xml
advertisement
291
291
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Touch Tone
Phone
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052210.xml
advertisement
292
292
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Playboy
Playboy
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052211.xml
advertisement
C3
C3
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
National Distillers, Inc.
Old Grand Dad
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052212.xml
advertisement
C4
C4
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
B & W Tobacco Co.
Viceroy
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052213.xml
advertisement
258
258
Display Ad
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Playboy Products
Glass
[no value]
[no value]
200050_19840101_052214.xml