Start waving that school pennant, take a healthy swig from your hip flask, and clear your throat for a rousing college yell. This is Playboy's Back-To-School Issue, filled with all the fun and good-fellowship of campus life itself. We've a feature on favorite college drinking songs--not the sentimental Whiffenpoof variety, but the ribald ballads that echo from the rafters when college men are feeling their brew. Playboy-regular Julien Dedman revisits Yale and reports on what his alma mater is up to in a series of very enjoyable cartoons. In his story "Old Shep," Jack F. West relates an amusing and very unusual method of getting out of a not-too-unusual college predicament. If you've never met Dartmouth's famous dogs, they should give you a special smile, Jack Strausberg has collected some amusing football anecdotes for us, and there's a Drink Quiz to test your alcoholic know-how.
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I do not vouch for the truth of this story, but it was told me by a professor of French literature at a celebrated university and he was a man of too high a character, I think, to have told it to me unless it were true. His practice was to draw the attention of his pupils to three French writers who in his opinion combined the qualities that are the mainsprings of the French character. By reading them, he said, you could learn so much about the French people that, if he had the power, he would not trust such of our rulers as have to deal with the French nation to enter upon their offices till they had passed a pretty stiff examination on their works. They are Rabelais, with his gauloiserie, which may be described as the ribaldry that likes to call a spade something more than a bloody shovel; La Fontaine, with his bon sens, which is just horse sense; and finally Corneille with his panache. This is translated in the dictionaries as the plume, the plume the knight at arms wore on his helmet, but metaphorically it seems to signify dignity and bravado, display and heroism, vainglory and pride. It was le panache that made the French gentleman at Fontenoy say to the officers of King George II, fire first, gentleman; it was le panache that wrung from Cambronne's bawdy lips at Waterloo the phrase: the guard dies but never surrenders; and it is le panache that urges an indigent French poet, awarded the Nobel prize, with a splendid gesture to give it all away. My professor was not a frivolous man and to his mind the story I am about to tell brought out so distinctly the three master qualities of the French that it had a high educational value.
If no one objects too strongly, we would like to nominate Romulus and Remus as the patron saints of the film industry. The reason? Romulus and Remus were the founders of Rome, and without Rome, where would the film industry be? We submit the following evidence:
When the man of means decorates an apartment or home, he may wish to hang a painting or two of some real value. In such a mood, with checkbook in hand, a conservative fellow with both intelligence and taste may find himself suckered into something akin to the purchasing of the Brooklyn Bridge. For he is fair game for the art forgeries offered by crooks so clever they often victimize real art collectors and even the curators of major art museums.
Here's an alcohol test you can rate high on without being sent to the pokey. The names of thirteen intoxicating beverages are listed below. The idea is to match them up with the proper descriptions. A teetotaler probably won't be able to handle more than four or five; nine or ten rates you a very social drinker, and if you get all thirteen you're a real boozer.
Although it's not considered normal for football players to catch their own passes or literally be swallowed up by the earth, these and other odd incidents, just as amusing, have actually taken place on American gridirons.
Back on campus this month, the college students of the nation are busily engaged in the activities that make higher education so very worth while. We asked Yale man Julien Dedman (Class of '48) to report on some of the goings on at his old alma mater and were pleased to discover that college life is just the way we remembered it.
In the course of my reading of contemporary fiction I have developed a wonderful little hobby: the collecting of later-commas. The later-comma, in case you don't know, is that ingenious literary device used by popular writers in place of the more descriptive passages that might get a novel banned in Boston. The character's (usually two: one male, one female) become involved in an extremely compromising situation and then, instead of the juicy paragraphs the reader is anticipating, the author slips in a later-comma.
These dogs are having their clay in college humor magazines all over the country. They first appeared in the Dartmouth Jack o' Lantern nearly ten years ago and soon were passing out their doggie doggerel on cam puses from coast to coast. The draw ing never changes. The little dog is always standing -- the big dog sitting down. Their expressions remain the same and no one seems to know which one is doing the talking, but their special canine wit continues to tickle the collegiate funnybone of the nation.
The movie Censors of America have considered the human body and concluded that it is immoral. They've decided that the female anatomy is particularly offensive, leading to all sorts of carnal, lecherous, lascivious, and otherwise objectionable thoughts and, we suppose, deeds in members of the opposite gender.