¶ IF THINGS turn out as we hope they will, W. B. Herbert, of Winnipeg, will be hailed as the Great Canadian Genius. Mr. Herbert has invented a method by which, in five minutes, without listening to a single political speech, every man and woman able to add up a few simple numbers can learn whether they are at heart a Conservative, a Liberal, or a C. C. Effer.
MR. GEORGE TALBOT ROPER, 3rd—wearing the most correct of dinner clothes, a proper coat of tan not too dark to be becoming, and a smile slightly condescending to humanity in general but not at all to Miss Eliotte Quire beside him—sat on the Quire terrace and discussed an abstract subject.
LOBSTERS! LIVE LOBSTERS! Five hundred thousand pounds of ’em ! Enough for twenty-five full carloads. Lobsters, alive and vicious. Red lobsters, black-green lobsters, yellow lobsters and pink lobsters. Live lobsters, weighing one pound, five pounds, ten pounds, fifteen pounds, twenty pounds, and all the other weights in between.
IT IS PROBABLE that there never was a time in Canadian history when the average citizen was called upon to do as much political wondering as he is today. Certainly, the confusion of political, social and economic factors has never before conspired so effectively to puzzle the man in the street.
FOR THE MOMENT the Blue Grotto was Montreal’s fashionable night club, and its clientele still preserved a reasonable mixture of haule noblesse and half-world. To the subtle lament of saxophone, the tall, slim figure of Kent Power moved through tables most of whose occupants were dancing on the dark-wooded floor.
MR. DUNNING is willing to become a bank president if he has to, but would really prefer to be Prime Minister of Canada. He is at present engaged in trying to accumulate a little money so that he may be suitably prepared for the second of these alternatives should the opportunity occur.
OF ALL the jests that Canadian institutions foist on their trusting taxpayers, the idea that a young offender should be sent to Kingston Penitentiary to “learn a trade” is the most ridiculous. It only beclouds judgment to argue that if a boy has it in him he will learn something wherever he is.
FAR ASTERN, the last shore lights stabbed the sky, each successive stab dimmer than the preceding one. In five minutes it would have sunk behind the horizon. The orchestra played sleepy waltz or peppy foxtrot—and the orchestra of the Talos was the envy of greater ships.
ON A MONDAY afternoon in June, King George V entered the coldly scientific atmosphere of a London museum and began to read from a typewritten manuscript; “At this time of widespread economic distress . . .” Thus Britain's King opened history’s greatest congress of the nations, the Monetary and Economic Conference called by the League of Nations.
IT WAS not easy for Mrs. Folsom to persuade herself that it was her duty to open the letter. It was not addressed to her. It was addressed to Miss Minerva Pearson, and Minnie was the Folsoms’ maid of all work. “Of course I oughtn’t do it,” ruminated Mrs. Folsom, “but Minnie is so impressionable that she really needs protection against herself.
SARAH was getting the strawberries ready. They were to be used with cream; dipped into the little cartons of Devonshire cream that Jane had contrived to make with repeated processes and much travail of mind. "Sarah, come and look,” she would cry.
SWALLOWING a tasteless lunch, Colonel Pluckett sneaked out of the Domenico Hotel, avoided the post office, and visited four other hotels in succession during that post-prandial hour when hardly anyone is astir. After three blank draws, the Diodoro Hotel porter informed him that the Signorina Butterworth was indeed staying there, that she was most unfortunately not in the hotel at the time but had left a note.
NEW BRUNSWICK’S new premier is the second Mr. Tilley to hold that office. He had a hard time living down the name of the first Mr. Tilley—not that it wasn’t a good name. As a matter of fact, it was such a good name that certain suspicious persons had an inclination to believe that the second Mr. Tilley was merely basking in the reflected glory of the first one, who happened to be his father.
IT IS now possible for the deep-sea fisherman or yachtsman to pick up a telephone and be connected with any other telephone in the Bell and associated systems. This new service has been made possible by the development of inexpensive equipment especially designed for ships operated within a radius of about 300 miles from the receiving and transmitting station.
THERE IS a great deal of satisfaction in a well-stocked larder. It gives you such a comfortable feeling to have plenty “laid by,” and what woman doesn’t like to be known as a good provider? Grandmother spent hours over her preserving kettle and got some delicious things out of it.
And so they find my door With little prayers, Trying to sell their bits Of shoddy wares. Timid old faded eyes That beg and plead Even before they speak To voice their need. And so I buy their pins . . . And home-made lace, (I never could resist A tired face.)
COMPANIES have become so large in the last half century, and the partnership of the general public in industry so extensive, that the work of inspection of accounts on behalf of shareholders has necessarily had to be delegated to accountants of wide experience and exceptional qualifications.
Question—Four years ago I invested in Roby’s Products, Ltd., head office, Montreal. Please give me the financial standing of this company, and say what chance it has of resuming business and of making good. —J. M. A., Calgary. Answer—The last information we have on our files regarding Roby’s Products, Ltd., is that the company was declared bankrupt and its assets put up for sale by tenders on July 22, 1932.
Subscribers to Maclean's Magazine desiring advice in regard to Canadian industrial investments, or life insurance problems, will be answered freely. Enquiries should be addressed to the Financial Editor of Maclean’s Magazine and a stamped, addressed envelope enclosed.
Tainted Air—Even the purest-looking surface air has rubbish suspended in it, says a doctor. You’re telling us radio fans!— Montreal Star. Faith—This would be a great old world if we could put as much faith in the average man as a woman puts in a little shoulder strap.&
O Lord, grant that in some way it may rain every day, say from about midnight until three o’clock in the morning, but you see, it must be gentle and warm so that it can soak in; grant that at the same time it would not rain on campion, alyssum, helianthemum, lavender, and the others which you in your infinite wisdom know are drought-loving plants—I will write their names on a bit of paper if you like—and grant that the sun may shine the whole day long, but not everywhere (not, for instance, on spiraea, or on gentian, plantain lily, and rhododendron), and not too much; that there may be plenty of dew and little wind, enough worms, no plant-lice and snails, no mildew, and that once a week thin liquid manure and guano may fall from heaven.
The sun now paints in splendor The canvas of the sky, And nature paints the meadows To charm the dullest eye. The farmer paints his fences; The sailors paint their ships, While the girlies paint their faces, Their fingernails and lips.
Too Late—“Well, sir, the upshot of it all was that it took me ten years to discover that I had absolutely no talent for writing literature.” “You gave up?” “Oh, no, by that time I was too famous.” —Port Arthur News-Chronicle. Discrimination—The futurist painter was visiting the house of his only patron.