Almost fifteen years ago, Gilbert Shelton created the underground heroes Freewheelin’ Franklin, Phineas and Fat Freddie. Since then, the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers, published in comic-book form by Rip Off Press and serialized for a time in HIGH TIMES, have sold a million copies and have become as much a part of the fictive American landscape as the mythological John Wayne or J. Edgar Hoover.
They were urinating like racehorses up and down Pearl Street as the Fourth Annual Great American Beer Festival came to a close in Boulder, Colorado, this past June. Sponsored by the American Homebrewers Association, festival officials presented 39 beers from over 20 “micro” and small breweries across the nation specially selected for their distinctive quality and character.
Contributing Editor Bob LaBrasca, who this month takes a look at the nation’s top dope lawyers, should be no stranger to HIGH TIMES readers. In between shuffling papers and drinking coffee, LaBrasca pumped out the “Highwitness News” section up here for almost two years.
Here’s an exercise sent to us by Michael Pearce of Portland, Oregon, from a thoroughly modern economic textbook that he forgot to tell us the name of, and that we cannot track down. We showed it to the Connoisseur and he told us that he couldn’t say for sure, but it was probably printed in Hawaii on 40-pound book white biodegradable paper by a small university press, shipped over to the mainland on an L-1011 cargo plane, distributed by a big New York house and published around 1979,1980 the latest.
Invented by scientists, Peter the Great is a specially calibrated precision instrument designed to create the illusion of greater penis length. Test-market reports from specially selected areas around the country have shown that many men seek out the comfort and assurance offered by Peter the Great in times of stress: "Within one week I'd lost my job, my fiancée turned gay, and my parents told me I was adopted.
Ever wonder what happened to those spoon-shaped coffee stirrers McDonald's recalled a few years back after the hamburger giant learned that certain unsavory types were using them for something other than stirring their java? Well, old Ronald McDonald—businessman that he is—wasn't about to get stuck with a warehouse full of coffee stirrers.
Do you know why dope prices are so much higher in the HIGH TIMES offices than in my home state of Florida? No, it's not because of the Arabs, Interstate Commerce Commission or unscrupulous growers overcharging for their pot. The answer lies directly to the south of you—that's right, the butt-end of late-night talk-show jokes, the state ranked number 50 in desirable places in the U.S. to live— New Jersey.
I enjoy reading your magazine very much, especially articles on the exploits of drug-culture heroes. My problem is that my wife belongs to the Moral Majority and makes me go to church so often that I don't get much of a chance to meet these types of people.
I smoke pot. I like to smoke pot. I also read HIGH TIMES religiously. But the April column by "R." is just too much. I don't know if he finally found the herb of the gods or if he is just an idiot. I took his pot-smoker's qualification test and failed, but I know it's a crock of shit because I'm a sailor in the United States Navy, and if that doesn't qualify me, nothing does.
Great dealer's lines. If you've bought a few ounces in your time, you must know a few of these ingenious, seductive selling slogans. Grass dealers are, of course, salesmen, some of the greatest in the long tradition of great American salesmen.
ONCE AGAIN, THE DEA IS BEHIND A CRIMINAL ENTERprise and is busting the criminals it creates. Like Buckeye Scientific Company, a mail-order chemical supply house exposed two years ago in HIGH TIMES as a DEA front, two new operations have surfaced as DEA setups: Apex Publishing Company, a numbered post-office box in New York City, advertised from October 1981 to July 1982 in HIGH TIMES classifieds, and Georgia Laboratory Supply Company, in Decatur, Georgia, acted in tandem to snare would-be drug chemists.
AN OVERZEALOUS District attorney in south Georgia has seized copies of HIGH TIMES from a convenience store and charged the owner with a violation of the state's Head Shop Act, even though not a bit of paraphernalia was in sight. As far as D. A. Gil Murrah could determine, this arrest was the first time the Georgia statute had been invoked to confiscate magazines.
The Oceanside city council has backed down from its initial approval of an ordinance that would have banned "books, magazines, tapes or records or other materials which glamorize or idealize the recreational use of drugs." Pressure from various media including Newsweek, Time and the San Diego Union, and NORML, the American Civil Liberties Union and ACTION, forced the reversal, according to deputy city attorney David Clyde, author of the ordinance.
THOMAZITO, RAISED IN THE never-ending rain forest of the Alto do Rio Negro, is the first Colombian Indian ever to gain a pilot's license, his friends claim. He flies several times a day across the unguarded border between Brazil and Colombia, carrying passengers on the 40-minute hop at $200 a seat.
THE SLAP-ON-THE-WRIST punishment for marijuana dealing is out; block-buster confiscations are in —if a Long Island judge’s decision starts any trends. Judge Raymond Harrington slapped a 42-year-old mother of three with a $1-million fine and a year in jail for her role in a 12-person ring headed by a Hollywood producer.
Poisoned pot is another argument for legalization, says CDC researcher.
YET ANOTHER REASON for legalizing marijuana and subjecting it to federal inspection surfaced recently when an outbreak of salmonella food poisoning was traced back to grass imported (without inspection, of course) from Colombia and Jamaica.
While we’re at it, this is a good opportunity to correct a typo that appeared in the July issue of “Highwitness News.” The correct mailing address for Up Front, Inc., in Miami, is: SP Lab, 5426 NW 79th Ave., Miami, FL 33166. SP Lab is not outfitted to do salmonella testing, but will check for other drugs and contaminants, using the same procedure as the Lab for Chromatography, detailed above.
Marshall McLuhan first predicted television would someday determine the price of soap more than supply and demand would. These days, he might just as easily have used marijuana, particularly domestic sinsemilla, as his example. Even though sinsemilla prices have steadily dropped over the past few years, anyone watching the glut of media coverage of the sinse culture would never have guessed it.
ALSO KNOWN AS: LSD, LSD-25, ACID, BLOTIER ACID, WINDOWPANE.
NATURE AND USE
HAZARDS AND LIABILITIES
David Smith, M.D.
LSD has been accused of possessing awesome powers to make people do things they would not normally do, such as stare at the sun until blind, step out windows and in front of speeding trucks, or commit mass murder. LSD is said to cause madness, disorientation and unpleasant hallucinations.
Al Goldstein is a living parody of anti-Semitism," one of his lawyers marveled to New York City reporters during a break in Screw's 1970 obscenity trial there. Goldstein was treating the press flacks to an orgy of grotesque Chinese food in a restaurant off Centre Street, where he was about to be convicted of obscenity charges because of the dildo ads in Screw, which, the New York State Superior Court judges solemnly considered, could criminally elicit the prurient inclinations of women and homosexuals.
I GOT MIKE STEPANIAN'S LECTURE ON THE HISTORY AND PRACTICE OF dope law sitting in the passenger seat of his deep blue Caddy convertible. It was '60s vintage except for a Sony sound system that could vibrate the fillings out of your teeth. When he didn't want to talk, he cranked it up past distortion level.
Two veterans of the'60s go in search of a campus life of yesteryear.
Perhaps it was my hesitancy to tamper with fond memories of rural hallucinations and afternoon cocktails at 8 A.M. Or maybe, as my old school chum, Eddie, surmised, I was simply afraid of "feeling like an old shit." Whatever the reason, since graduating in '69, every weekend was somehow too inconvenient for a return engagement to that mythical land of all-night parties and all-day convalescing—college.
There was never any elixir so instant magic as cocaine.
A man's life is his own and he has the right to destroy it as he will.
ONCE UPON A TIME, ALEISTER CROWLEY tipped off a zealous decency society in Britain to the "conspicuous signs of prostitution" he'd observed in a tiny Scots town. Considering the source, Crowley himself, to be unimpeachable on such matters, the horrified do-gooders dispatched a morality squad to the spot, at considerable expense.
"IF YOU CAN'T PRODUCE THE ABORTIFACIENT YOU PURCHASED. THEN WE WILL EXECUTE YOU FOR MURDER." THE PRIEST SAID._
THOMAS M. DISCH
They were waiting in the darkened living room when she got home with the laundry. The priest had put on a Roman collar. The woman with him was plump and fiftyish, with billowing white hair and a smile as fixed and unnatural as the teeth it bared.
A Hawaiian's-eye view of marijuana security alternatives.
WATCH YOUR STEP!
MARIJUANA GROWERS IN CAMOUflage suits, armed with automatic weapons, are roaming the hills of Kauai, terrorizing innocent backpackers and unsuspecting nature lovers. A deadly assortment of booby traps have been discovered by police surrounding clandestine marijuana patches amidst the lush foliage of the Big Island's and Oahu's state forest preserves.
Every conceivable make and model of small-arms ordnance known to modern warfare and self-defense! Send for fully illustrated four-color catalog before it’s too late. Only $50. (When ordering firearms from catalog, kindly include current home address, for convenience of FBI agent running this sting.)
Commercial ammunition, in these days of creeping bigbrotherism, can be a trap. Large quantities of factory-made bullets are all too often traceable, leading to annoying inquiries by paternalistic authorities anytime a man does his patriotic duty and blows away a possible suspected perpetrator or terrorist.
Veteran CIA agent and superpatriot Edwin Wilson has been fighting, undercover, out of uniform, for U.S. freedom and democracy since the rough-and-tumble Bay of Pigs raid on Cuba, which he coorganized with Watergate hero Howard Hunt. In fact, the imminent collapse of U.S. freedom and democracy was signaled with Ed Wilson’s recent arrest by thought police in New York City, on trumped-up charges of working heroically against black and Arab terrorists in Africa.
The dawn seeped red into the moiling clouds over Mozambique to the east, slowly etching the eerie African outline of Mount I’Fugyamutha into the vast savanna sky. I’Fugyamutha, that natural nest of terrorists, with its impenetrable maze of breakneck ravines infested with giant scorpions, laughing hyenas and purpleass baboons so ugly only a Red black “terr” could love them.
Sure, patience is half the fun of fishing. But when you’ve been out all day long without a nibble, and the sun is going down and the skeeters and midges and deerflies are rising up in pesky clouds, and the trout are holing up for the night anyway, you’ve got a problem.
283 RECENTLY IN A LONDON MAGIStrate's court the following exchange took place between the police officer giving evidence on a drug charge and the magistrate: Magistrate: Have you the piece of cannabis found on the defendant? Officer: Yes, your honour.
Over the past year Madness has become England's most popular band, outselling better known groups such as the Police. A cursory look at their four LPs (the latest, a greatest-hits collection called Complete Madness) explains why. The seven-man outfit plays with the heart and energy of people who genuinely enjoy making music, and their songs offer a refreshing breath of hope and humor at a time when British rock has been weighted down with pretense for what seems like a lifetime.
Jacksonville, Florida, is a sprawling Southern town noted for its mean drunks, rednecks and Southern rockers. The best Southern bands have roots in the area, from members of the Atlanta Rhythm Section, Allman Brothers and Lynyrd Skynyrd to Blackfoot, Thirty Eight Special, the Outlaws, Johnny Van Zant and Molly Hatchet.
KEEP MY GRAVE WARM! DRILLER KILLER! MAD MONKEY KUNG FU! LICK ME AND KILL ME! Such is the daily cinematic diet of Bill Landis, 22-year-old editor of the Sleazoid Express, self-confessed addict of trash and guru of gore and garbage. Wandering through the pissdrenched movie palaces and vomitoriums of 42nd Street and its ilk, Landis daily sifts through the sewage—poring over the antics of syphilitic vampires from Hong Kong and crazed Osterizer-wielding maniacs from Boise, Idaho—to pluck up pearls from the swinishness, and share these degenerate delights with his readers.
Adozen years ago, the Farm descended as gently as possible on Lewis County, Tennessee, rather like the starship Enterprise. Their mission: to simply live there in a way that would keep alive among themselves that special, frail perception of the Good which many others achieved in the '60s, but which most of us abandoned immediately as soon as we learned that it was difficult and dangerous to keep that perception alive in the "real world."
Risk is the essence of Rafael Barrios's work. The viewer freefloats between normal, linear reality and the surreal. We are impelled into a space where certainty becomes uncertain, where expectations are old hat—now is it. And now means laughter and wonder and surprise.