Hi! I'm Kareem oh-Tool Zabar of the San Salvador Lines. Being an all-star center I never have to worry about getting cut ...from the team, that is. But buying cocaine is a different story. Believe it. Nowadays even seven-foot-tall sports superstars like myself are being burned by unscrupulous dealers peddling bogus blow.
Nothing builds karma points for a magazine like the publishing of a blacklisted writer. Sure, your comps to concerts and movies may disappear, the invitations to exciting parties will stop and all the other magazines will begin treating you like a leper with a hairlip; but when you weigh all that against everyone on staff, from the publisher on down, being guaranteed at least gerbil or hamster status in the next life...
I'm a pilot and I run a small aviation company. I'm also broke: two months behind on my alimony payments (I know she's sleeping with another dude, but I can't prove it), into Uncle Sam for twelve grand in back taxes (my accountant screwed up bad in '78), and what with the state of the economy, not too many people have been bringing their airplanes in to be painted and upholstered.
I think it's great, your encouraging people to buy and grow American. I myself took your advice and produced a load of incredible smoke in one of the most unlikely of places—New Jersey. I grew my weed not in the shadow of the refineries of Hoboken, but in the south where there is still some wilderness to be found.
GRAND JURIES are bad news. They're a trick of the prosecution, a way for them to get a lot of information and indictments without having to tell or show anybody anything. The normal rules regarding search and seizure and informants do not work.
DID YOU HEAR about the scandal in the wine connoisseur world? TV Guide did an exposé of those television commercials for some big wineries that feature self-proclaimed connoisseurs endorsing cheap, mass-produced, domestic wines as if they were the finest of famous French château bottlings.
THERE WERE A stunning 405,600 arrests for grass-related offenses in 1980. Who are these people, other than nameless, faceless statistics? What about those rotting in cells across the country? What price have they paid for defying the New Prohibition?
WHEN THE DRUG ENforcement Administration held one of its standard press conferences in September, to publicize a “West Coast record” coke bust of 114 pounds, beaming agents displayed not only a tantalizing haul of confiscated blow, but an eye-catching stash of cash as well—$2 million or so—taken with the cocaine and nine Colombians when, “acting on a tip,” they swept down on a house in Van Nuys.
STATE DEPARTMENT'S 'HOMEGROWN NARC' PUTS BOLIVIA ON PAROLE
THE GOVERNMENT OF THE Republic of Bolivia, deeply infested with acknowledged cocaine gangsters, torture experts and fugitive European Nazis, has been sort of put on good-conduct parole by the U.S. State Department. Last winter the Reagan administration quietly decided to “normalize” relations with the military junta in La Paz, and named for the purpose a career narcotics law-enforcement expert, Edwin Corr—formerly assistant secretary of state for narcotics.
PANICKY COFFEE IMPORTers and merchandisers assembled here last fall to discuss the plummeting state of coffee consumption in the United States, its economic implications here and abroad, and possible ways to ameliorate it. Within just the last two years average per capita intake of coffee in the United States has dropped from over three cups per day to slightly more than two cups; and though the total tonnage of coffee imported and used has remained steady, the downward-trending overall sales profile has produced jitters in American industry and in foreign producing countries alike.
LAST FALL, WASHINGTON Metro narcs invented “look-alike” marijuana: a finely sifted blend of tea, parsley and celery flakes, sprinkled liberally with birdseed and sprayed with vanilla for a convincing odor. They had plainclothesmen peddle it in joints and baggies in spots which had become renowned around town for excellent street weed, specifically to undermine the reputation of D.C. street smoke.
THE MESSAGE FROM THE Reagan administration is absolutely unmistakable: If you go crazy at any point in the rest of your life, you're on your own, and God help you if you're already crazy. In a move that can only be interpreted as deep-sixing the emotionally disturbed of the nation, Reagan budget cutters have virtually eliminated the already negligible amount of federal money that formerly went for research and treatment of mental-health problems.
PENICILLIN AND SIMILAR antibiotics have been fingered as a major drug-abuse phenomenon, contributing to a potential health catastrophe of global scope. The primary pushers behind the antibiotic epidemic are not Mafia smugglers or perverts lurking in school yards, however; they comprise doctors, advertising firms and Midwestern stock raisers.
Ordinarily the annual NORML convention in Washington, D.C., is a sociable and lively affair, always fun but rarely enlightening. All the really crucial decisions are made in back rooms. But this year’s affair was not only more fun than usual, but had some news to boot.
CHARGES: Addictive, with ugly withdrawals. Combines dangerously with other downs, especially alcohol. Overprescribed to women to keep them in their place. NATURE AND USE: Diazepam was among the first drugs to be synthesized after biochemists determined, in the '50s, that nearly any chemical substance within a certain range of molecular weights was bound to have antidepressant effects in the brain.
Fleetwood Mae's little girl lost steps out on her own
"LOOK, ENOUGH WITH THESE HEAVY INTERVIEWS," THE GUYS UPSTAIRS TOLD US. "SZASZ, ANTON WILSON, LEARY, TURNER BUKOWSKI. GivE 'EM A BREAK, GIVE 'EM SOME GOS-SAMER. MIND CANDY. SET 'EM UP FOR THE HEAVY DEA INFORMANT RAP NEXT MONTH." OKAY, WE SAY. WE THINK MUSIC. WE THINK LACE AND VASELINE-SOFT IMAGES.
This has gone too far. It's time to put a stop to it. When you begin hearing these systematic reefer-madness myths from dope smokers themselves—people who appear to believe in them, but go on smoking marijuana even though they may feel uneasy about it now—then it's time to unravel the whole fucking disinformation campaign, all in one place, once and for all.
Tiiese are the Himalayas. Half the acreq.ge here is a Schedule One Controlled Substance under the United Nations Single Treaty Convention. What hath Shiva wrought? Onions grow in the ground, dont they, and we eat onions. Leeks grow out of the ground, so we eat leeks too.
MICK AND I WERE GETTING HIGH. I'd brought the stash. I was always bringing the stash. I felt obligated. Either that or I didn't want to feel obligated. Big stars charged big rents for their time. I figured Mick wouldn't've kept inviting me except I was such an easy touch for stash.
Jose Torres is a New York City-based journalist and former light-heavyweight boxing champion of the world. Legs McNeil is the co-founder of Punk magazine and about the most all around degenerated specimen of 26-year-old manhood you'd ever care to see.
Presuming I could get it up, I would fuck any girl for a gram of decent cocaine. Frankly, I would be honored to be called a whore. Nobody has ever paid me to fuck them and I doubt they ever will, but if they did it would definitely make me feel great. Actually, I did fuck my female coke dealer a few times, but I never thought of it as whoring.
Artists just can't afford to wait around to be discovered anymore. These days a fella could starve on less than 20 grand a year. Anyway, free enterprise has a mandate from the people. So like those enterprising punk bands that got tired of waiting for record-company execs to catch up, more and more artistic types are producing and even marketing their own work.
The cars flash off the pages. Simonizo high-gloss finishes over phantasmagoric paint jobs. Customizing is a fetish. Even the name gets down. But Sonny Madrid, the soft-spoken publisher of Low Rider, says the magazine is no ordinary auto book.
Following the courageous lead of TV unpersonality Cathy Lee Crosby, previously drug-tarnished Hollywood figures are now coming out of the closet, finally, and admitting that they've really never done any drug more illegal than penicillin.
ATLANTA, GEORGIA—Federal drug officials here today were ordered to suspend custody of their two latest "drug courier profile" defendants, and did so with an audible sigh of relief. "Give me coke mobsters and reefer smugglers any day," said veteran Drug Enforcement Administration airport narc Ray Markonich.
Heartened by the recent substantial influx of capital into the federal reserve banks of Northern California, First Lady Nancy Reagan invited the families of regional sinsemilla and skunk indica farmers to the White House for a special "Grow American" banquet.
233 A SURVEY OF OVER 8000 PEOPLE undertaken at Kaiser Foundation Hospital in Oakland, CA, indicates that drinkers have fewer heart attacks than teetotalers—the really heavy drinkers have the fewest of all. Personal Report, Mar. 25, 1980 224 CHICAGO—A SUBSTITUTE PAROchial school teacher drugged with LSD by a student she sent to the principal's office for throwing paper airplanes said yesterday she will retire, brokenhearted at the thought that the rest of the class failed to warn her.
Shooting America's First Full-Length Homegrown Feature
SINCE 1969 AND EASY RIDER, MOVIES ABOUT DOPE consumption and distribution have been fairly common. Considering how tanked up the Hollywood community usually is on weed or cocaine, it's hardly surprising that they've shown such fascination in the intricacies of getting high—or that such an assortment of superfly dealers and blue-collar narcotics cops have been paraded before us.
STEADILY, INEXORABLY and almost completely without fanfare, Steve Miller has become one of America's most durable rockers. In a career that now has spanned parts of four decades, Miller has helped develop the music from the blues and R&B roots of the '50s to the technologically proficient AOR rock of the current day.
Everybody knows about dial-a-prayer—in every city from Alaska to Australia you can assuage your god and your conscience without going any further than your phone. Many towns also have numbers you can call that will give you the latest sports scores or your daily horoscope.