Issue: 19810201

Sunday, February 1, 1981
February 1981
66
True
8
Thursday, September 18, 2014

Articles
cover
1
1
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HIGHTIMES
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0001.xml
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2
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VitaBlend Ltd.
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VitaBlend Ltd.
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0002.xml
tableOfContents
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3
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HIGHTIMES
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0003.xml
masthead
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4
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HIGHTIMES
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0004.xml
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4
4
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Pacific Laboratories
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Pacific Laboratories
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0005.xml
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5
5
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L&M Inc.
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L&M Inc.
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0006.xml
article
6
6,7
Letters.
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Letters.
Thanks for the Mammaries
A Nympho Writes...
Deutschland Uber Alles
What They Don’t Know Can’t Bust You
Lower Prices...
...Give Us a Break
Keeping America Safe for Neurosis
We-a-Culpa
Put That in Your Pipe and Smoke It
Correction
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I just can’t thank you enough for using my picture in your “High Society” column this past September. To date I have received over 700 pieces of mail, not including countless marriage proposals, a round-trip ticket to Texas sent by a college football team (which I returned) and a mink stole (which I kept).
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0007.xml
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7
7
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Advertisements
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The Counter Balance Scales Dept.
CBG4
The Counter Balance Scales Dept.
CB500
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0008.xml
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7
7
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Advertisements
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Space Imports, Inc.
BABY WOOD ROSE SEEDS
Space Imports, Inc.
MORNING GLORY SEEDS
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0009.xml
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8
8
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Advertisements
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FLASH MAIL ORDER
COMPLETE CANNABIS CULTIVATOR
FLASH MAIL ORDER
SUPER GRASS GROWER'S GUIDE
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0010.xml
article
8
8
DEPARTMENTS
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Who's high?
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Terry Southern: novelist, essayist, filmmaker, Hollywood screenwriter and all around bon vivant. He first became famous in 1964 when his classic Candy became a best-seller. At the same time, he was sending the country into successive fits of laughter and outrage with his film Dr. Strangelove (an acknowledged satiric masterpiece, directed by Stanley "2001" Kubrick).
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0011.xml
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9
9
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Advertisements
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HOMESTEAD BOOK·COMPANY
Deluxe Psilocybe Cubensis Kit
HOMESTEAD BOOK·COMPANY
Beginning Psilocybe Cubensis Kit
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0012.xml
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10
10
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Anti-Bugging Anti-Wiretapping Corp.: The 007 BIONIC BRIEFCASE
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Anti-Bugging Anti-Wiretapping Corp.
The 007 BIONIC BRIEFCASE
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0013.xml
article
10
10,11,97
DEPARTMENTS
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Connoisseur.
Rebel Weed
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"R."
Sometimes the prophetic powers of my connoisseur's talents astonish even me. From my very first taste, two years ago, of a small batch of Arkansas sinsemilla, I knew there was something extra special about Southern-grown grass. I knew that if conditions turned out right, the South would rise again—and get the rest of the country high with it.
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0014.xml
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11
11
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Natural Earth Products
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Natural Earth Products
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0015.xml
article
12
12
DEPARTMENTS
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Getting Off.
Customs
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Michael Stepanian
Please, don't fuck with Customs. Though in December we learned that the Fourth Amendment prohibits the cops from searching anyone without a warrant based on probable cause, there are exceptions. The most important of these involves the border search.
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0016.xml
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13
13
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AEON PRODUCTS, INC.
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AEON PRODUCTS, INC.
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0017.xml
article
14
14,15
DEPARTMENTS
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High society.
Pass the Pipe Not the Law
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"Hell, if High Times can't throw a kickass party, then who the fuck can?" shouted a middle-aged head-shop owner as he pranced around the dance floor with two straws stuck up his nose, a funny hat on his head and a bottle of blackjack in his hand.
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0018.xml
article
16
16
DEPARTMENTS
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Formerly Dr. Hip.
Cocaine and Pain
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Eugene Schoenfeld
Dear Dr. Schoenfeld: My mother has a very painful case of arthritis, mostly in her hands. Besides the pain and swelling, she's lost some movement in her fingers. I'd heard that cocaine could be used to treat arthritis and offered her a few lines, but she was horrified at the idea, started crying and told me this was just more proof that drugs were destroying my mind.
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0019.xml
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17
17
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THAI POWER: ISO2
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THAI POWER
ISO2
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0020.xml
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18
18
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Advertisement: HIGH TIMES Calendar
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HIGH TIMES Calendar
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0021.xml
article
19
19,24,25
HIGHWITNESS NEWS
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OPERATION SINSEMILLA: FUTILE AND COSTLY
THE CHARADE GOES ON
CUSTOMS LAUNCHES ASSAULT ON DEA
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Michael Dorgan
Local, state and federal authorities launched their most aggressive campaign ever in an effort to wipe out the fall harvest of what could well be California's most valuable cash crop—sweet sinsemilla. Begun last year as a modest, 4-county, federally funded pilot program, Operation Sinsemilla this year swelled to a 27-county, all-out paramilitary assault, complete with sophisticated aerial surveillance of vast tracts of land and helicopter landings of khaki clad commandos armed with chain saws and machine guns.
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0022.xml
article
20
20
HIGHWITNESS NEWS
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COCAINE SEX DEATH?
QUESTIONS REMAIN IN FLORIDA O.D.
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The headlines blared: COCAINE SEX MURDER!, and the details of the sensational story that followed must have struck terror in the heart of many a snort fiend. John Stetz, Jr., a 31-year-old fireman in Boca Raton, Florida, had been charged with murder in the apparent OD death of his girl friend, Elizabeth Eckhart.
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0023.xml
article
20
20
HIGHWITNESS NEWS
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THE POPE DON'T SMOKE DOPE!
AND DOESN’T WANT ANYONE ELSE TO EITHER
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Pope John Paul II recently told an audience of 300 young people at a drug treatment center in Rome that he condemned "with all my soul" any efforts to legalize marijuana or any other illegal inebriates. His remarks apparently came in response to Italian Socialist health minister Aldo Aniasi's announcement that he was considering legalizing pot and other "light drugs" experimentally.
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0024.xml
article
21
21
HIGHWITNESS NEWS
JAMAICAN UPDATE
OUTLAWS SWOOP DOWN, RECAPTURE POT PLANE
70 POTHEADS DIE!
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KINGSTON, JAMAICA—The battle between ganja smugglers and the Jamaican government escalated last fall after a well-equipped gang apparently staged a military-style raid on a St. Elizabeth landing strip and recaptured a plane that had been confiscated by police.
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0025.xml
article
22
22
HIGHWITNESS NEWS
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COPS FRY DUSTHEADS WITH HIGH-TECH STUN GUN
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"It's comforting to know you have a Taser nearby," sing the makers of the Taser "fazer" electronic stun gun. "Even if you never use it. We hope you never do." Cops in Los Angeles use the fazer copiously (see last month's HIGH TIMES, page 79), despite its maker's best wishes, mainly against people whom they believe to be wrecked on PCP.
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0026.xml
article
22
22
HIGHWITNESS NEWS
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"STAR WARS" BANNED
CENSORSHIP, DANISH STYLE
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No Empire Strikes Back, no Star Wars for kids under 12 in the wholesome state of Denmark. "Children are not allowed to see a film that desensitizes them to violence, to suffering," explains Joergen Bruun Petersen, the Danish censor who nixed the space epic.
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0027.xml
article
23
23
HIGHWITNESS NEWS
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"BLACK MARKET" IN DMSO EXPANDS ACROSS COUNTRY
SCORING THE PAINKILLING DEGREASER
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SEATTLE—"It felt so clandestine, you know," a local businessman recently recalled after moving $15,000 worth of bottled dimethyl sulfoxide (DMSO) from an anonymous wholesaler to three security guards from the Tulalip Indian Reservation.
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0028.xml
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24
24
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Advertisements
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0029.xml
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25
25
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CARDINAL PUBLISHING: PHOTO ID
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CARDINAL PUBLISHING
PHOTO ID
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0030.xml
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25
25
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RAINBOW PRODUCTIONS, INC.
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RAINBOW PRODUCTIONS, INC.
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0031.xml
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25
25
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JACY'S WORKS: THE PLIP Finger Saver
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JACY'S WORKS
THE PLIP Finger Saver
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0032.xml
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25
25
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BULLSEYE PARTY GAMES
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BULLSEYE PARTY GAMES
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0033.xml
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26
26
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PHARMADEX WHOLESALE DIST.
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PHARMADEX WHOLESALE DIST.
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0034.xml
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26
26
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Advertisements
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SWAMP FOX HERBS
BABY WOODROSE SEEDS
SWAMP FOX HERBS
MORNINGGLORY SEEDS
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0035.xml
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26
26
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Mushroompeople
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Mushroompeople
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0036.xml
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26
26
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TOO HIGH LIMITED
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TOO HIGH LIMITED
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0037.xml
article
26
26,27
HIGHWITNESS NEWS
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WHERE THERE’S SMOKE, THERE'S POWER... WELL, MAYBE
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You’ve probably read somewhere by now that U.S. Customs and Florida Power and Light are planning to burn the government stock of confiscated weed in FPL’s Port Everglades power plant, thereby saving precious barrels of oil and disposing of obviously useless vegetable matter.
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0038.xml
article
26
26
HIGHWITNESS NEWS
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KLANSMAN NABBED AGAIN IN DRUG-KIDNAP CASE
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Alton Wayne Roberts, 42, of Meridian, Mississippi, who was convicted of a role in the 1964 abduction and murder of three civil-rights workers in Philadelphia, Mississippi, and released from jail five years ago, is now up on charges for kidnapping a Georgia sheriff—all because of his alleged involvement in what must have been one of the least secure smuggling operations on record.
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0039.xml
article
27
27
HIGHWITNESS NEWS
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COLOMBIAN 'LUDES BUSTS
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BOGOTÁ, COLOMBIA—Colombian narcs have extended their routine drug raids into the booming local industry of bootleg Quaaludes, locally known as "jumbo 714s" or "747s," depending presumably on their degree of potency. In one raid, federal police from the narcotics unit known as F-2 apprehended two individuals in Bogotá with 50,000 jumbos in what they said was the first 'lude bust ever conducted in the capital.
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0040.xml
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27
27
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Quick Trading Co.: MARIJUANA GROWER’S GUIDE
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Quick Trading Co.
MARIJUANA GROWER’S GUIDE
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0041.xml
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27
27
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NOVA ENTERPRISES, INC.: Physicians' Desk Reference PDR 1980 Edition
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NOVA ENTERPRISES, INC.
Physicians' Desk Reference PDR 1980 Edition
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0042.xml
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27
27
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Heart Inc.: Solid Brass Jewelers Scales
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Heart Inc.
Solid Brass Jewelers Scales
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0043.xml
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27
27
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APPLIED HYDROPONICS
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APPLIED HYDROPONICS
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0044.xml
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28
28
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Advertisement
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0045.xml
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28
28
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GREEN MOUNTAIN SHOPPE: SEVEN DWARVES
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GREEN MOUNTAIN SHOPPE
SEVEN DWARVES
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0046.xml
article
28
28
HIGHWITNESS NEWS
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YULE THAI LOGS SPOIL HAWAIIAN SUGARPLUM VISION
TRANS-HIGH MARKET ANALYSIS
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Thailand marijuana is rapidly gaining a reputation as top contender among the world's exotic labels, moving aside such class vintages as Maui wowie, California red hair and Caribbean and South American sinsemillas. The Thai connection has fairly sizzled of late as tons of top-notch “bindles,” sticks and bales move across the Pacific to the rolling papers of America.
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0047.xml
article
29
29
HIGHWITNESS NEWS
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TRANS-HIGH MARKET QUOTATIONS
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HIGH TIMES welcomes anonymous reports, but please be specific about the area, type, quantity and quality of dope referred to. If you are aware of other prices or have other relevant information or suggestions, please send them in. The THMQ is intended solely for comparative purposes and in no way is meant as an inducement to illegal activity, or as an endorsement of dope usage or trafficking, or as an endorsement of any particular dope.
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0048.xml
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30
30
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Almost Heaven Hot Tubs, Ltd.
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Almost Heaven Hot Tubs, Ltd.
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0049.xml
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31
31
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Tobacco Accessories Trade Association
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Tobacco Accessories Trade Association
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0050.xml
article
32
32,33,35,37,98,100,101
Interview
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Terry Southern with Bill Burroughs
Two Great Satirists Take the HIGH TIMES Blindfold Test
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Victor Bockris
William Burroughs and Terry Southern, independently and in concert, midwifed, suckled, weaned and reared the very special consciousness of our age. Naked Lunch and Candy, Nova Express and Dr. Strangelove, The Ticket That Exploded and Red Dirt Marijuana; if the one most special thing about our age's consciousness is its wholehearted affinity for blowing itself to bits regularly on strange drugs, we have Messrs.
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0051.xml
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34
34
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National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws
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National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0052.xml
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36
36
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GREAT LAKES PRODUCTS, INC.
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GREAT LAKES PRODUCTS, INC.
[no value]
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0053.xml
article
38
38,39,40,41
FEATURES
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They Went Thataway
A Pictorial History of the TV Cowboy
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Harry Wasserman
VIEWED BY MANY AS THE LAWRENCE WELK OF TV COWBOYS, Gene Autry was only a telegraph operator when Will Rogers got him a job on CBS's "Melody Ranch." After spending 18 years with the radio gig, Autry lassoed a movie contract and crooned his way through a host of low-budget serials.
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0054.xml
article
42
42,43,44,45,46,47,56
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See the Sacred Word and Win$100
My Acid Trip with Groucho
The Timothy Leary Connection
The Charles Manson Connection
The Otto Preminger Connection
The Lenny Bruce Connection
The Ram Dass Connection
The Groucho Marx Connection
The Jerry Rubin Connection
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Paul Krassner
If you take the name of a certain former vice-president, Spiro Agnew, and scramble the letters around, you can rearrange it to spell out Grow A Penis. Such appropriateness can give your boundaries of coincidence permanent stretch marks. After all, when Sen.
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0055.xml
article
48
48,49,50,51,52,103,104
FEATURES
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TUINAL CORNER
Scoring on Sleaze Street
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Joe Schenkman
AVW Rabbit slows down rounding the curve at the bottom of Union Square Park West, and three pill pushers take off after it like dogs. "Run, you hungry motherfuckers!" yells Willie, who's standing on a traffic island digging the scene. "The lowest of the lowly Tuinal Touts," he explains.
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0056.xml
article
53
53,54,55
FEATURES
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Dessert
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0057.xml
article
57
57,58,59,60,61,75,76
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Blood of a Wig
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Terry Southern
My most outlandish drug experience, now that I think about it, didn't occur with beat Village or Harlem weirdos, but during a brief run with the ten-to-four Mad Ave crowd. How it happened, this friend of mine who was working at Lance ("The Mag for Men") phoned me one morning—he knew I was strapped.
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0058.xml
article
62
62,63,64
DEPARTMENTS
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Grow American.
Planting Ahead for Your Spring Harvest
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Ed Rosenthal
Mel Frank
THIS SPRING, while most marijuana gardens are just sprouting, you could be harvesting a potent crop of mature buds. Flowering in marijuana is naturally controlled by the photoperiod (duration of daily light versus darkness). Long days encourage fast vegetative growth while preventing flowering.
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0059.xml
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65
65
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The PERPETUAL GARDEN
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The PERPETUAL GARDEN
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0060.xml
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65
65
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Indoor Garden Supply, Inc.: The Superlite
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Indoor Garden Supply, Inc.
The Superlite
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0061.xml
advertisement
66
66
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Advertisement: The Official High Times Mule's Jacket
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The Official High Times Mule's Jacket
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0062.xml
review
67
67,68,69,70
FEATURES
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Carrion House WORLD OF GIFTS!!
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St. Martin's Press
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St. Martin's Press
#10812 LIVING BIB
$75
#10812 LIVING BIB Avoid embarrassment at formal dinners. Bib absorbs, lives on, spilled food, moves rapidly, is almost undetectable, can absorb even cigar ash. Easily tamed. Taupe, mauve, and flesh. Total cost: $75.
St. Martin's Press
COMBINATION COMB, FORK AND VIBRATOR
$21.50
#7979 COMBINATION COMB, FORK AND VIBRATOR This is the ultimate multipurpose tool. Total price: $21.50 plus removable batteries.
St. Martin's Press
BOY SCOUT, MANUAL
#64801 BOY SCOUT, MANUAL Cunning life-size, highly colored Boy Scout (key-wound) performs good deed each day, assists old ladies across streets, lights fires by rubbing sticks together (permanent sticks included), recites Boy Scout oath at time pre-selected by owner.
St. Martin's Press
WERELOAF
$4,200
#131313 WERELOAF Gourmet goody that is ours alone! In huge zinc terrine pan, simply lay out naked body of adult or child, sprinkle with our mix of East Slavic herbs, transformational powders: at midnight body instantly changes to furry edible Wereloaf, good hot or cold, traditionally served with hot mustard, chestnuts, beakers of spiced wine vinegar. WARNING: Dish must be completely consumed before sunrise! Adult terrine pan and powders: $5,300; child set: $4,200; infant: $1,100. Terrine pan can be used over and over.
St. Martin's Press
FLO AND ERNIE’S LIZARD RANCH
#33099 FROM FLO AND ERNIE’S LIZARD RANCH Our elegant touch-tone lizard. A Matching Set of Simulated Lizard Briefcase, Overnight Case and 48" Pullman. Goes anywhere with you, and Pullman comes complete with claw wheels and tug-along strap. A wonderful travel idea for people on the go! All yours for only $69.95 in a choice of colors: Iguana Green, Komodo Brown, or Salamander Silver. Monogrammed at slight additional cost. Please allow three weeks for monogramming.
St. Martin's Press
BOY SCOUT, AUTOMATIC
$4,400
#64802 BOY SCOUT, AUTOMATIC Triumph of transistorization (from our vast new electronics complex on Ob River) performs all functions of Manual Scout (above), lights fire by simply pointing at fuel with index finger, recites Shorter Catechism (snooze button provided), plays standard bugle calls. Head tilts back to permit use as unusually striking flower vase.
St. Martin's Press
BOY SCOUT, MANUEL
$235
#64803 BOY SCOUT, MANUEL Same as Manual Scout (left) but recites oath in Spanish. Several interesting Spanish oaths provided.
St. Martin's Press
FIRST TIME IN BRAILLE
$11,750
#978653 PAINT BY NUMBERS, FIRST TIME IN BRAILLE! What makes this kit UNIQUE is our Patented Color Sensor. Slip electronic gloves (nonallergenic) over your hands, activate Big Boy Color Computer. Picture is flashed instantly to brain cells, but your fingers do the work, without THOUGHT without PREVIOUS TALENT! Just sit back and LET THEM GO! Completed oil picture emerges in micro-seconds. Four programs now available: Winston Churchill, Grandma Moses (perennial favorite), Van Gogh Sunflowers, Currier and Ives Household Pets. In preparation: El Greco, Selected Spanish Crucifixions. Complete system with any one program: $11,750. Additional programs: $350.
St. Martin's Press
BONSAI MIDGET-MAGIC
$49.95
#00098 BONSAI MIDGET-MAGIC For everything there is a season and a time, so why not keep everything just at its peak moment of perfection? With our BONSAI MIDGET-MAGIC, shape your environment to your needs as you quickly wind-and-bind trees, bushes, even small children to create instant art. Method proved completely satisfactory by centuries of Oriental women. Comes complete with wind-and-bind bondage strips, weatherproof aluminum stakes and illustrated, easy-to-follow, step-by-step stunting (dwarfing) instructions. Only $49.95. (Owner must supply own living specimens; these are not included in package!)
St. Martin's Press
THE BLACK HOLE TOUR
$50,000
#49 THE BLACK HOLE TOUR Nothing as common as Calcutta for you! This tour is truly a once-in-a-lifetime, out-of-this-world adventure. Experience gravity at its finest, as you’re drawn toward a selected black hole with a whole new universe on the other side. Yours, when you book early. Tour will be scheduled to take advantage of free launch days at Vandenberg Launch site, and will be led by noted Cornell astronomer. Total cost: $50,000. Includes one-way ticket and all meals en route. Ticket must be paid for 30 days in advance and antimatter waiver must be signed prior to departure.
St. Martin's Press
DORMANT SICILIAN KILLER BEES
$759
#43210 DORMANT SICILIAN KILLER BEES Trouble with noisy neighbors in the summer? Warm, release our exclusive bees (average size ½ lb., queen much larger). Your troubles are at an end! Field-tested; 16 bees wiped out entire rock concert in Georgia! Sicilian phrase book with necessary commands (Fly! Dive! Return to Cryogenic Bottle!). Basic hive of 30 Bees: $759. Extra Queen: $250.
St. Martin's Press
BABY BOOK
$37.50
#4837264 BABY BOOK Baby book shaped like a real baby, lifelike! Three-dimensional! Specify size of baby at birth, sex (if any), ethnic description. If boy baby, indicate whether circumcised. Price: $37.50. Allow four weeks for personalized manufacture and delivery.
St. Martin's Press
VOICE-OPERATED DOORMAT
$775
#74936 VOICE-OPERATED DOORMAT Plush doormat, available in wide range of colors, asks “Friend or Foe” when stepped on. If password is not quickly given, electrocutes unwanted visitor. Price: $775.
St. Martin's Press
THE HINDENBERG
$54.95
#64 THE HINDENBERG Assemble this kit in one corner of your living room, or have our technicians assemble it for you, then enjoy the complete Hindenberg atmosphere. Included with your purchase: one fire extinguisher, a full supply of hydrogen, plus a stereo recording of announcer retching. Total cost: $54.95 (for do-it-yourself kit) or $54.95 (with our technicians assisting). Victims excluded.
St. Martin's Press
"Live Prayer Rug”
$32.76
#978 OUR MOSLEM SPECIAL This "Live Prayer Rug” will follow your Moslem friends anywhere in the world. Genuine live green algae have been mutated (successfully) in our own laboratories on the Orkney Islands to completely resemble the finest Persian weavings, even while in motion. So there is no need for your Moslem friends to pack their own prayer rugs; our number follows right along anywhere; attacks infidels. Total Cost: $32.76. (At slight extra cost, a self-timing prayer call and compass, guaranteed to point to correct direction of Mecca, can be installed, Minarets not included.)
St. Martin's Press
HOME FANATICS
$50
#131304 HOME FANATICS Parties not as talkworthy as you'd hoped? Fanatics, available on daily rent or long lease, can be disguised as friends, family members. Guaranteed to raise emotional temperature by minimum of 10°C. within 15 minutes; if dissatisfied, return for full refund. When not in use, fanatics must be kept on steel leash, provided. Moderate Fanatics: $50 per hour. Extreme Fanatics: $150. Ultimate Fanatic model under development, available 1984.
St. Martin's Press
SIAMESE TWIN CAP(S)
$3.99
#222222222 SIAMESE TWIN CAP(S) One size fits two. In washable stretch fabric. Colors: blue, pink, or half and half. Total cost $3.99.
Adrianne Marcus
William Dickey
Wayne Johnson
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HIGH TIMES Subscription Service
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THE SUPERIOR VITAMIN B BLEND
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Merchandising Service of America, Inc.
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Merchandising Service of America, Inc.
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DEPARTMENTS
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High Interiors.
Law and Order
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"Way beyond the bounds of satire." The sting of libel maven Marty Miner's disapproval carries through five miles of bugged telephone wire. "Funny as hell, though," concedes the corporate counsel. Thanks a lot, Marty. Another joke bites the dust.
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0067.xml
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Shooting Gallery
“WHITE LINE OBSESSION”
Shooting Gallery
“MARIJUANA BABY”
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0068.xml
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EDEN PRESS, Inc.
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EDEN PRESS, Inc.
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0069.xml
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APPLIED HYDROPONICS: HYDROPOT
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APPLIED HYDROPONICS
HYDROPOT
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0070.xml
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Seabright Ave.
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Seabright Ave.
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0071.xml
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HIGH TIMES
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0072.xml
article
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SEEDS'N'STEMS
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ADMINISTRATION OF THE LIVING DEAD!
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SEEDS & STEMS
Reagan Aide
"WE'LL NUKE MOUNT ST. HELENS"
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"Environment has become a stark matter of life and death in the '80s," declares new Undersecretary of the Interior Elmira Napalm, specially appointed to the office of Ecology Czarina. "We made a special indepth study of this issue when I was treasurer of American Cyanamid, and I plan to implement a dramatic series of fresh, new, revolutionary approaches to this issue.
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SEEDS & STEMS
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BORN-AGAINS RISE UP FROM POLITICAL LIMBO
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All Washington is awash with nostalgia, thanks to the many new appointments made by the Rev. Jerry Fallout to fill the new Special Ministry for Public Morality. "The reawakening of America has guided many specially gifted and knowledgeable political people to Christ's fold," Reverend Fallout told reporters in the ministry's headquarters, a corridor in the White House basement.
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SEEDS & STEMS
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FETUS ELECTED TO CONGRESS
VOWS SUPPORT FOR RIGHT-TO-LIFE AMENDMENT
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The single freshest face on Capitol Hill is Terry McNally of Crutch, Minnesota, a two-month-old aborted fetus, elected congressthing on the independent Baby's Breath Party slate. "As a member of America's single most oppressed minority, I intend to lead foursquare the battle for the restitution of the American family as Congress's number one priority," the fetus pledged.
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SEEDS & STEMS
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A WARM PLACE TO SHIT?
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"I'm as surprised as you are," former agriculture secretary Earl Butz told reporters when news broke that he had been appointed to lead the President's task force on slum pacification. "What the fuck does an old Iowa shitkicker like me know about the South Bronx, for Christ sake?
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0077.xml
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THE YENTAS
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THE YENTAS
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0078.xml
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82,83
SEEDS & STEMS
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KEEF RICHARDS GOES TO THE DENTIST
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JOSH ALAN FRIEDMAN
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0079.xml
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0080.xml
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SEEDS & STEMS
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DOCTOR SPOOK
Psychic Physician
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Judy Brown
Ned Sonntag
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SEEDS & STEMS
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ASK DR. FUCK
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Note: Dr. Fuck is a respected professional in his field. Due, however, to professional jealousy, he is forced to conceal his real identity (even from himself). Dear Dr. Fuck: Can swallowing the male ejaculate which entered my parched aching lusting mouths after many varied twisting sensuous turns of my tall tanned blond muscular lover who had begged me to squeeze his turgid bronze-like balls and roll my languid tongue over his great throbbing ecstasy machine add significantly to my calorie intake?
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0082.xml
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SEEDS & STEMS
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QUADRAPLEGIA
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88,89
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HIGH TIMES CLASSIFIED
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0085.xml
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90
DOPE LORE
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1001 THOUGHTS ABOUT DRUGS
FOURTH OF A MONTHLY SERIES
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58 DEAD FLIES CAUSE THE OINTMENT OF the apothecary to send forth a stinking savor. Ecclesiastes 10:1 59 FIVE OR SIX YEARS AGO I KNEW THOUsands of acres in the lower Rio Grande Valley where peyote grew in profusion. Today, visits to one after another of these previously flourishing locations show them barren [due to picking] of even a surviving specimen.
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0086.xml
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Northwestern Products Inc.: STIMULANTS
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Northwestern Products Inc.
STIMULANTS
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0087.xml
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H R A industries, Inc.: One Plus cigarette paper
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H R A industries, Inc.
One Plus cigarette paper
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NF Supply: Stimulants & Diet Capsules
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NF Supply
Stimulants & Diet Capsules
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0089.xml
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DEPARTMENTS
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Sounds.
Bruce Springsteen The River Columbia PC2-36854
Notes
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John Swenson
Last night I was walking home, just walking down the street, it was pretty late, 'bout three o'clock in the morning, it was raining a little, and this gold '72 Cadillac comes roaring down Eighth Street going maybe 75, 80 miles an hour and rams dead on into a semi parked along the side of the road.
HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0090.xml
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New Mexico Psychic Research Assoc.
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New Mexico Psychic Research Assoc.
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0091.xml
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IMAGE DESIGNS
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IMAGE DESIGNS
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0092.xml
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THE ROBB REPORT
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THE ROBB REPORT
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0093.xml
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MUSE
Statue of Liberty T-Shirts
MUSE
No Nukes T-Shirts
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0094.xml
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HALIDE SYSTEMS: "SYSTEM C"
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HALIDE SYSTEMS
"SYSTEM C"
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0096.xml
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HALIDE SYSTEMS: 1500 WATT HALIDE
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HALIDE SYSTEMS
1500 WATT HALIDE
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0097.xml
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PHUN PHARMACEUTICALS
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PHUN PHARMACEUTICALS
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EDEN PRESS
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EDEN PRESS
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Premium Industries: Buzz Bomb
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Premium Industries
Buzz Bomb
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0100.xml
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ACT
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ACT
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0101.xml
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Advertisements
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E.S. MFG. CORP.
FIG. #1. SUPER DELUXE
E.S. MFG. CORP.
FIG. #2. ECONOMY
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High Times Classified
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THIRD EYE INSTRUMENTS, INC.: höt böx
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THIRD EYE INSTRUMENTS, INC.
höt böx
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0105.xml
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ROCK CRYSTAL LABS: ULTRA-CAINE
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ROCK CRYSTAL LABS
ULTRA-CAINE
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0106.xml
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DEPARTMENTS
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Last Words.
Dr. McDope's Amazing Facts!
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0107.xml
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HIDDEN CREEK, Inc.
Super Cyan
HIDDEN CREEK, Inc.
Hawaiian Cyan
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HighTimes_19810201_0008_066_0108.xml
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THE LIGHT MACHINE: SUPERNOVA
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THE LIGHT MACHINE
SUPERNOVA
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