October 1 marks the tenth anniversary of the founding of the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML). It was the start of a decade of reforms and setbacks in an ever-escalating war between reefer madness and a movement with too many martyrs.
HIGH TIMES is bullshit. I smoked dope steadily for 40 years and all it got me was destroyed lungs. Dope makes you lazy, confused, dull witted, stupid and incapable of discipline. All dope is a temporary pleasure, an escape, a cop-out and an excuse, that’s all, and you end up like me: slowly, miserably dying at the end of a premature one-way street.
Capturing the hearts of Americans everywhere with his music, message and meshugass, Kinky Friedman remains the hottest and most original talent in country music. Recently “60 Minutes” jumped on the Kinky bandwagon and sent Morley Safer and a film crew down to the Lone Star Cafe in New York City to interview God’s favorite Texan and film his show.
“Get thee behind me, Susan." Latest to get zapped by the baby Jesus? None other than Rocky himself, Sylvester Stallone. And apparently the rediscovery of his Roman Catholic roots has turned him from an insufferable, boorish lout into a humble, mellow fellow.
It's the beginning of November and things are all messed up. Nothing is going as expected. Relax, it's merely a temporary condition. Take a Valium suppository and go to sleep. When you wake up on or about the morning of November 3 you can begin getting your shit together, carefully separating into little piles the small, medium and big pieces.
I remember wondering whether I was more stoned than drunk or more drunk than stoned.
This Bud's for You
I complain a lot in this column about the lack of new varieties of connoisseur-quality weed to taste, but every once in a while I luck into something truly unique. A whole new way of consuming marijuana, and I'm not just talking about a new kind of pipe.
The exposure of an Ohio mail-order chemical house as a conduit for information to the federal Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) has caused HIGH TIMES to refuse advertising from certain regular customers and to toughen its overall ad policy.
The army of federal agents sent to south Florida to monitor incoming Cuban refugees in early summer inadvertently interrupted normal drug traffic during that period and resulted in the largest U.S. cocaine bust ever. During the height of the crisis, a special federal agency called FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) was set up to coordinate and direct the work of ten separate U.S. departments.
A dope-smoking ex-paratrooper named Charlie Hartz became the first Vietnam veteran to testify in a massive class-action lawsuit against the chemical companies that manufactured the controversial herbicide Agent Orange. The 34-year-old vet claims his brain cancer and the birth defects of his two children were caused by his exposure to the poison in Vietnam.
NEW YORK CITY—It was less than two months after two Jamaican consular employees were busted for attempting to haul 50 pounds of ganja past Customs officers at Kennedy Airport that the consul general herself was nabbed there with 22 pounds of the stuff, thanks to the vigilant noses of government dogs.
POPAYÁN, COLOMBIA—Narcs from the DAS—the Department of Administrative Security, Colombia’s equivalent of the FBI—have reported sighting a “sea of coca” in the Llanos Orientales, the vast, mainly uncharted savanna area southeast of the Andes mountains adjoining the Brazilian border.
Punk Otter: Tichuk, the first sea otter ever to be born in captivity and survive, has turned into an adolescent vandal. At the age of one, the 55-pound saltwater mammal is tearing up his tank at the Seattle Aquarium. In the past several months he has broken concrete, ripped out underwater cables and lights, removed nuts and bolts from window frames and filled a drain with ten pounds of rocks after pulling off the cover.
ISLE OF MULL, SCOTLAND—The Highlands of Scotland lived up to their name recently when $2 million worth of cannabis washed up on the shores of the remote west coast island of Mull. The dope was in 50-pound packages neatly wrapped in thick taped paper and tightly sewn burlap.
Harvest time is the culmination of the months of effort and patience. Harvest is the focal point of everyone’s activity—the growers, the ripoffs and the police. It's the time when dreams come true and dreams are dashed, a time of almost exquisite tension and suspense, the apex of the grower’s cycle, the time of highest vulnerability and greatest reward.
SANTO DOMINGO—When a Beach Craft plane carrying 2,000 pounds of Colombian fume and a ki of pure coke made an emergency landing at Las Americas Airport in this capital city, the media and the government treated it as a major event. Defense Minister Lt. Gen. Mario Imbert McGregor himself helicoptered in to question the pilots—a gringo and a Puerto Rican—who were arrested while desperately searching for a car to take them into the city.
HIGH TIMES welcomes anonymous reports, but please be specific about the area, type, quantity and quality of dope referred to. If you are aware of other prices or have other relevant information or suggestions, please send them in. The THMQ is intended solely for comparative purposes and in no way is meant as an inducement to illegal activity, or as an endorsement of dope usage or trafficking, or as an endorsement of any particular dope.
The annual summer drought has hit the U.S. pot market hard this year. High-volume dealers no longer extending margins have made life miserable for middle-echelon dealers who depend on the front for their livelihood. As a result, the Midwestern and Northern states have suffered excruciating shortages.
You know the feeling. You know it and you hate it. You feel threatened, afraid, helpless, angry, insecure and betrayed. Once seized by jealousy you can’t think of much else. You may even believe that your feelings are totally unreasonable and illogical, but once they start flailing your brain, logic won’t help much.
I never learned how to drive a car. In fact, I owned a Volkswagen convertible in good condition for two whole years and still never learned how to drive. It was like having a nice big toy in my front yard. I would either walk, take a bus or be driven places by friends.
A ROTTEN INTERVIEW WITH SLASHING THROUGH THE PUBLIC IMAGE
Johnny Lydon almost single-handedly defined the “punk" in punk rock. Not the textbook version coined by Marsh and Bangs in Creem over a decade ago to describe a certain late-'60s recording sound that has once again become fashionable, but the nightmare visions of brain-damaged apocalypse kids bent on demolishing everything and everyone in their path.
See Johnny Lydon when he was still Rotten! Those glaring blue eyes! That orange forked hair! That nasty menacing scowl! The most riveting screen presence since James Dean! Hear the Clash sing “Police and Thieves”! See the real-life rock 'n' roll romance of Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen in their last interview together!
I had to talk Miles Davis into going to Jimi's funeral with me. What the hell, I told him, it was only a few days before he had to be out on the coast anyway and besides, the exposure would be good for him. There'd be a lot of press there. "I don't like funerals," he rasped.
for Robbery, Murder, Treason, & other Acts Against the Peace & Dignity of the Homogenized Corporate Culture
To tell you the truth this telephone booth gets lonesome in the rain. But son, I’m 21 in Nashville and I’m 43 in Maine And when your mama gets home would you tell her I phoned—it’d take a lifetime to explain That I’m a country-picker with a bumpersticker that says 'God Bless John Wayne.'
Culture is like a record store. It’s filled with bins. The bins are labeled by category so people can find what they are looking for. Let's make a new bin. And let's be arbitrary, because that's the only way we're going to get started. Let’s see—we had acid rock, heavy metal, fusion, glitter, disco, and then punk rock.
But [my fans] see someone who felt alienated, who didn’t belong anywhere. I stuck it out, you know, I stuck it out. And I’m determined to make us kids, us fuckups, us ones who could never get a degree in college, whatever, have a family, or do regular stuff, social stuff, prove that there's a place for us.
Dick Grob looks like the kind of guy the Village People are always pretending to be: built like a bollard, with arms like steel cables and an all-encompassing eye that is hypersensitive to trouble. But Dick Grob is the real McCoy. After a stint in the Army he was a cop for several years, then took on one of the toughest bodyguard assignments in the business: chief of security for Elvis Presley.
Marijuana is now the top cash crop in California, having recently pulled ahead of various fruits, nuts and swamis. This presents a lot of California farm folk with the unenviable chore of hyping their product across the land while doing their damnedest to hide every illegal speck of the stuff.
Willie Nile—Love songs and philosophy from a writer with an eye for visual images of the “All Along The Watchtower” variety. His music circles around the ringing guitar sound that brings Byrds, Petty and others to mind, but no matter—he’s an original.
Work Goes On, Prospects Dim for $9-Billion Space Shuttle
CAPE CANAVERAL—Parade magazine reported last spring that the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) was offering "getaway special" rates for the Columbia space shuttle at $500 a shot and that numerous celebrities were interested in taking the ride, including Robert Redford.
Christina Onassis at 29: Richer, Stronger than Aristotle
ATHENS—Twenty-nine-year-old Christina Onassis has, according to the top executives of the billion-dollar Onassis shipping cartel, stepped very effectively into her deceased father's role as an international financial wizard. While most public reports about Christina dwell on her rather complicated love life—three husbands, so far, since the age of 20—the woman herself reportedly spends most of her time in her executive office here, haggling multimillion-dollar transactions through three or four telephones at once and punching out international exchange rates on her pocket computer.
MOSCOW—When the Hon. Baba Hassan, the ambassador to the Soviet Union from the Republic of Chad, died of cerebral hemorrhage last summer, the state-owned Aeroflot Airways refused to take the body back to Africa without a $15,000 freight fee.
CAPE TOWN, REPUBLIC OF SOUTH AFRICA—Hennie Smit, minister of posts and telecommunications in Prime Minister Piet Botha's cabinet, nipped a new racist move in the bud recently when he charged in open Parliament that black people have "slower thought processes" than other people and are generally "less developed."
ATHENS—Naked German tourists now enjoy a special battalion of armed Greek police to protect them from incensed Orthodox clergy and parishioners. Last summer the National Tourist Organization here set off a special stretch of the Saladi resort beach, south of Athens, for the exclusive use of West German sun worshipers, which incited the conservative Greek clergy no end.
TUNBRIDGE WELLS, ENGLAND—A family of four recently spent two weeks in a nuclearbomb shelter—not out of paranoia or as a publicity hype, but to test the safety of the shelter design for the government. A Home Office bureau kept tabs on the family throughout their "survival" fortnight and a consumer-safety report on the shelter—designed and constructed by a private firm in Twickenham—will be issued some time this fall.
Mary Ann Evans, who smoked cigars, used obscene language and lived in sin with a married man for 24 years, has been accorded a plaque in staid, solemn Westminster Abbey in England. It took only 100 years, exactly, for her memory to live down the scandal that, as "George Eliot," Mary Ann not only practiced but assiduously preached free love and the wearing of trousers before her death in 1880.
BEIRUT, LEBANON—The laundry lines of refugees from southern Lebanon nowadays festoon the expensive facades of the tourist hotels facing Raouche, Beirut's gorgeous seafront. The high-rise hotels look down now not on the lavishly tanned bodies of socialites from around the world, but on a full-fledged Arab bazaar; the white sands of the Raouche have been appropriated by the merchants who were bombed out of the downtown commercial center during the mid-'70s civil war between the Palestinian leftists and the right-wing Christian Phalangists.
1001 THOUGHTS ABOUT DOPE FIRST OF A MONTHLY SERIES
1 THIS IS THE 15TH YEAR THAT I HAVE BEEN in the "drug business"...the more I learn the more complicated the issue becomes...inevitably we are humbled... Arnold J. Mandell, M.D. Chairman, Dept. of Psychiatry U. C., San Diego 2 A CONGRESSIONAL MEDAL OF HONOR winner said today he was "stoned" on marijuana the night he fought off two waves of Vietcong soldiers and won America's highest military honor.
Don't be afraid to tell the cop you do not consent to a search. Your privacy is a thousand times more important than a cop's curiosity.
Please look at the end of this column before reading further. Now did you, dear reader, voluntarily and intelligently move your eyes and mind, or did you submit to my authority? Is the first sentence of this column a request or an order? This is the issue concerning consent.
Had director Vittorio De Sica spent his formative years smoking ganja in Jamaica rather than surviving fascism and war in Italy, his neorealist classic, The Bicycle Thief, would probably have closely resembled Rockers. Both films have the same basic story: A man living in a desperately poor urban slum obtains a two-wheeled vehicle in order to gain employment; the bike (motorcycle in Rockers) is stolen and the man and his family face the disaster of humiliating poverty.
That's right, this book costs $125 in the edition on the racks right now. Makes for a thoughtful and touching Christmas gift, supposing there's someone on your list whom you want to keep in your debt at least until next Christmas. Very appropriate to the season, y'know, for knowledgeable counterculture people; it was Wasson's seminal research in Soma, Divine Mushroom of Immortality (1969) that established conclusively that Santa Claus, big and fat in his red and white outfit, is a veritable pre-Christian collective religious archetype for Amanita muscaria, the big, fat, red-and-white dappled magic mushroom that we in the northern hemisphere have been doing ceremonially since the Stone Age.
First, lift your left foot as high as it will go...and hold it there. Now raise your right foot until it is parallel to the left one. If you descend rapidly to an uncomfortable position on your rotund posterior, you have failed the test. But if you remain suspended in midair you may have an even worse problem.