When I liberated this magazine, I was told not to mess with success. They said I couldn't print anything bad about dope, not even morbid bringdown bummer shit like angel dust, or those new boot 'ludes that make you puke for 20 minutes and then sleep for three hours; don't even mention anything like that, they told me, it'll scare off our doper readership.
Our cover-story extravaganza starring Cheech and Chong is brought to you by prodigal son Ed Dwyer, prodigal because he used to be HIGH TIMES’ feature editor before being lured to the land of the tinsel tush to work for Oui magazine. Dwyer last touched base with “I Was a Dope-Crazed Sex Fiend” back in October ’78.
The Unknown Programmer’s letter [HIGH TIMES, March ’80] reminded me of a course I took in college concerning cryptanalysis. The idea of having a computer code your message and then passing that through an acoustic coupler to have the electrical impulses converted to audible sounds for transmission via Ma Bell is commendable, but hardly original, and is not as safe as one might think.
Do you remember how grateful you felt to the person who passed you your first puff of Santa Marta gold? Well, someday you may feel as grateful to me for turning you on to Tai-Chi as you were to that guy. It’s that good a high. Tai-Chi is one of the least well known, but in many ways the best, of the physical disciplines of the East to make it to America.
In New York City’s financial district—which is about the only place in town anymore where a nickel bag is worth a nickel—street dealers are calling their toprated primo grass “Bo Derek dope.” The financiers and clerks who buy it are also calling their top-rated ten-bonds “Bo Derek bonds.”
August promises surprises for the signs Taurus, Leo, Scorpio and Aquarius. But don't worry if you're not one of these signs. Somewhere in your life you'll be surprised. Maybe it will be in your Taurus relationships or Scorpio ambitions. On August 6 Venus enters Cancer for a month, emphasizing your private life and a need for peace and quiet.
A new era was ushered into the age-old struggle between heads and feds recently when a long-term project by the United States to develop an electronic sensing device capable of spotting dope from aloft became fully operational. The system is already in use in Mexico and is under consideration for use elsewhere.
LOS ANGELES—Phencyclidine—PCP—actually appears to cause no more extreme long-term mentalabnormalities in its users than any other commonly used street drug, reports the director of Pride House, a detox center here specializing in the treatment of adolescents.
DETROIT—One of the most troublesome physical properties of phencyclidine is its prolonged persistence within the body in a potentially psychoactive chemical state. Phencyclidine has a particular affinity for acidic-based body cells, which abound in the spinal fluid and brain.
A seven-man, five-woman jury acquitted 27-year-old Steven Kalish of smuggling charges involving 40,000 pounds of marijuana. Kalish was described by prosecutors as a leader in the operation that brought the shrimp boat El Cobre to the port of Galveston.
WAUKESHA, WISCONSIN—Hundreds and perhaps thousands of tons of marijuana enter the United States legally every year. The pot is transported through official U.S. ports of entry where it is checked by Customs officials and then turned over to wholesalers.
LONDON—When the Legalise Cannabis Campaign (LCC) appeared on “Open Door,” the only public access TV program on the BBC network, it had to apply to the Home Office to have a live marijuana plant in the studio. Obtained from police laboratories at Aldermaston, it was accompanied into the studio by two security guards.
Art Linkletter, the emcee who years ago on nationwide TV proved almost daily that “People Are Funny” and that “Kids Say the Darnedest Things,” has returned to the screen. This time though, he stars in a 60-second commercial pushing a book that “proves” marijuana isn’t funny at all and, in fact, that it does the damnedest things to kids, adults and numerous laboratory animals.
Rolling Stones’ Ron Wood Claims Cocaine Rap Was a Frame-Up
Ron Wood was wailing away, but not in his customary role as guitarist for the Rolling Stones. Wood bitterly denounced his cocaine bust in St. Maarten, the Netherlands Antilles, as a setup. “I never touched any dope,” said Wood. “We came here to get away from all that scene.”
Amazing the stuff you stumble over on Gulf Coast beaches these days! An unidentified fisherman inspects a ruptured bale of Colombo on a barren beach in the Chandleur Island chain of Louisiana. It was theorized that foul weather or approaching narcs motivated the jettisoning of the valuable cargo.
Inflation has finally hit the international dope market and sent prices soaring. All of Europe and much of Asia have been affected. Increased demand, tougher law enforcement and the devaluation of the dollar has made dope prices for American tourists particularly high, with local markets often influenced by imperialist dealers.
People are organizing as never before on both sides of the marijuana issue. For every group of parents mimeographing the old reefer-madness arguments and displaying a genuine concern for the physical and mental health of their children, groups of more independent-minded folks are forming to counteract the hysteria and fight to preserve their democratic right to alter their own consciousness without hurting anyone.
Kentucky took a great leap backward recently when its House Judiciary Committee approved a bill that would stiffen the penalty for growing and harvesting marijuana for sale. Under the old law, growing pot was a misdemeanor punishable by no more than a $300 fine and one year in jail.
Who was that sinister, torpedolke figure seen herding Richard “Cheech” Marin and Tommy Chong into a glossy, opiumblack limousine on fashionable Sepulveda Boulevard? Stunned onlookers, witnessing the evident abduction, set all Tinsel Town abuzz with rumors.
The PERSECUTION and ASSASSINATION of the PARAPSYCHOLOGISTS as performed by the INMATES of the AMERICAN association for the advancement of SCIENCE under the direction of the amaizing RANDI!
Robert Anton Wilson
The novelist was working on a huge, cyclopean, swords-and-sorcery epic set in 18th-century France, full of duels and seductions and revolutions and a cast that included such egregious gentry as Napoleon and the Marguis de Sade. It promised to be a rather juicy bit of work.
Death Stalks the Prairie: The Strange Phenomenon of Cattle Mutilations
A Menace on the Rangeland
Git Along, Little Dogie
The Snippy Case: First Strike of the Radioactive Surgeons
1973: The Mysterious Helicopters
1974: The Year of the Cult
1975: Wholesale Phantom Surgery
The Gomez Ranch
Elsberry and After
There is a new menace on the American prairies and rangelands. It is a force mysterious, powerful and unpredictable enough to make the vintage dangers of range existence, the mountain lions and blizzards and cattle thieves, look like so many pussycats and gentle breezes and philanthropists.
How is it that you’ve never tried pot? Here you are at age 63, a retired teacher, somebody’s grandmother, considered to be avant-garde by many of your generation of friends, yet you are as unaware as the most innocent elementary-school kid.
Did you recognize the pungent, familiar, sickly sweet telltale odor of shit emanating from this month’s centerfold? That’s right, we finally did it, trolled the streets and parking lots of America from coast to coast, scoring anything that was offered for sale by perfect strangers.
Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou has broken may rejoice.—Psalm 51:8
PEOPLE want some change. Watch me now. You know white men administrate from the Bible. It is a devil book. It is a devil book because the white man, he administrate from this book. What is the difference when a black man administrate from this book?
Americans, like people everywhere, hold a very special place in their hearts for sports heroes. Sports idolatry can be merely astonishing, as evidenced by the plumber’s apprentice who can give you the bout-by-bout career stats of every middleweight boxer since 1938 or the ghetto junkie who has an eidetic capacity for the ERA percentages of every majorleague relief pitcher since Abner Doubleday invented the game.
Townshend and Costello are the respective gurus of the so-called old and new wave, and both of these albums are an out-and-out condemnation of the phony polarization that has surrounded them. For Townshend, Empty Glass isn't so much a self-defense against the attacks of punks and new wavers who are against the old guard.
If the '70s were the '50s with more sleaze, in what way will the '80s recapitulate the '60s? An advance sign of what may well be coming appeared in the form of concerted protests by an ethnic minority at the recent Lake Placid Winter Olympics. Situated in the state with the second-highest density of nuclear power plants per sguare mile and per capita in the country— Illinois is highest—Lake Placid, New York, is part of the traditional turf of the Mohawk Indians.
Cashing In on the Quattrocento: Art Guru Bernard Berenson and His Billion-Dollar Scam
NEW YORK CITY—Revered art critic Bernard Berenson not only profoundly shaped the 20th century's aesthetic outlook before his death at 94 in 1959, he also took that world for a wicked ride in his youth, new disclosures show. It seems Berenson, after graduating Harvard University and building a monumental reputation as an expert on Italian Renaissance paintings, entered around 1911 into partnership with a truly venal British art dealer, Joseph Duveen.
BRASILIA, BRAZIL—The remorselessly banal "modern" architecture of this capital city, artificially carved into the deepest Amazon, represents a grim symbol of the military Figueiredo government's expansionist policies into these trackless territories.
Returning to the Old Values: Semisecret Order Grabs Power in Vatican
ROME—Shaky finances and a long-awaited backlash against politically progressive South American clergy are seen as contributing to the Vatican's drift toward extreme conservatism over the last year. A little-known ultraconservative religious order, the Opus Dei, has reportedly gained immense influence at top levels in the Vatican Curia, displacing the traditional Jesuit Order in something very much like a knockdown, drag-out corporate back-room power play.
LONDON—Last August a supersonic British Airways Concorde lifted off from Heath-row Airport, pointed its needle beak for the United States, and promptly lost all the console lights on its “Green" system, which governs the plane's landing gear.
HAGFORS, SWEDEN—Nuclear powers detonated a total of 421 H-bombs during the 1970s, according to the global nuke observatory here. The Soviet Union edged out the United States, scoring 191 explosions to a mere 154 by the U.S. France placed third with 55 nuke blasts, China managed 15, Britain barely pulled through with 5 and India placed last with 1.
Antidraft Action Swells: South African Army Brutalizes Recruits
KIMBERLEY, REPUBLIC OF SOUTH AFRICA—"Capture by the enemy, even a lengthy term of imprisonment, would have been preferable to what was done to our son in detention barracks," says the mother of Arnold Lewin, who died at 18 last year in the custody of military police.
"Back-to-the-Bush" Movement Threatened by Nuke Development
MANINGRIDA, AUSTRALIA—The central government runs a special resource center for aborigines out of this dusty settlement on the edge of the northern Australian outback. In the bush beyond, some 95 "outstation" of aborigines, comprising 30 to 60 clansfolk apiece, move about nomadically in the fashion of their ancestors, and the Maningrida station provides two-way radio contact with each group, basic supplies and emergency medical help by plane.
SHANGHAI—The Western omelet is gaining unprecedented acceptance in urban China, thanks to a highly ingenious ploy by sagacious price-fixing bureaucrats. In a program to streamline egg production, state poulterers some years ago commenced importing huge flocks of leghorn hens from Europe, Australia and the United States.
"If Kennedy himself had arrived with a bunch of red roses I might have accepted," sniffed Soraya Khashoggi, the Arabian temptress, in recounting her turndown of the allegedly amorous American senator Edward Kennedy. Ms. Khashoggi, the sometime wife of Saudi oil magnate Adnan Khashoggi, said of Kennedy, "The man was just pimping," when he invited her to fly from her London home to Boston for a weekend.
It's not a collection of old maps, as the title suggests. In fact, there are only two medieval globe-maps in it, the A.D. 1500 navigational chart compiled by Columbus's pilot, Juan de la Cosa (showing Cape Cod, where Columbus never went, in exquisite detail), and the A.D. 1154 Muslim atlas of al-Idrisi, which is printed here, most wonderfully orthodox, upside down.