While reading “Stay High and Multiply” [High Times, “Adviser,” August ’79] I had to laugh at Dr. and Mrs. Angolin’s assertion that “grass smoking seriously impairs women’s fertility, disrupts their normal menstrual cycles and causes them to have defective periods.”
What’s with your Trans-High Market Quotations? The dope market seems to be in constant flux lately, but the column hasn’t really shown these changes. Is it really true that people aren’t paying more than $35 for an ounce of commercial Colombian these days?
Q: What do they put in Zoom that gets you so nicely stoned? Also, I’ve heard that it depletes certain vitamins. Should I be taking supplements along with Zoom? —Macrobiotic Ellen, Palo Alto, Ca. A: The reason you get so nicely wired on Zoom is probably that you haven’t got a coffee habit.
During the "1965" sequence of Big Wednesday, John Milius’s pseudoepic on California surfing life, there’s a scene that takes place in Tijuana, the town that borders southern California in the far northwest corner of Mexico. Tijuana is one of the two or three sleaziest towns in the Western Hemisphere, and it has long been a tradition among teenage male surfers to pause there, Baja-bound, for all-American rites of passage: beer-and-tequila-drunk blindness, barroom brawling, fireworks and whores.
Although it is the sex fantasy of many to be with two members of the opposite sex, I myself prefer two of “us” to one of “them.” My first two-man-one-woman sex experience was in an L-shaped room—the perfect shape for a three-way experience; it started, as they usually do, at a party, where I introduced Nick to Joy.
One of the highlights of a recent Minneapolis new-wave festival was Devo’s appearance in a new alter ego (or maybe alter id) form called Dove. They closed out their set with a combo cover of both Bob Dylan's “You've Gotta Serve Somebody” (the words) and the Contortions’ “Contort Yourself” (the music) that they called “Serve Yourself.”
RALEIGH, NORTH CAROLINA—Five local men, convicted in lower courts of moving 14 tons of grass, were allowed by appeals court judge Burley Mitchell to walk out of five-year jail sentences by paying $570,000 in cash and property to local school and police funds.
LOS ANGELES—A U.S.-Mexican heroin ring estimated to have banked over $30 million between 1975 and 1979 has been rooted out, cops claim, with the dawn-raid busts of eight people here and in San Diego. Fourteen more people charged in the record-breaking investigation remained at large after the busts and are presumed to be in Mexico.
ISTANBUL—An 18-year-old U.S. high-school exchange student, who had originally been reluctant to come to Turkey after seeing Midnight Express, is in jail here facing a possible ten-year stretch for supposedly trying to smuggle hash. Local cops say Loretta Jean Dooley was caught trying to mail a box of hash to her sister in Coronado, California.
NEW BERN, NORTH CAROLINA—Within the space of two weeks last summer nine people came down with viral hepatitis type B here, and when six of them died, it made for the heaviest hepatitis B mortality rate recorded in the last 18 years. All nine had been doing MDA and cocaine through hypodermics, raising suspicion that infected needles may have spread the disease among the victims; but the extraordinarily high death rate has prompted the theory that MDA itself may have exerted a “potentiating factor" that accounted for the unusual severity of the disease among the victims.
LONDON, ENGLAND—Heathrow Airport Customs snared a wholesale shipment of Golden Triangle smack worth $16 million when three young New York women turned up quantities of heroin on their persons during inspection on a stopover from Bangkok.
MIAMI—The city police department, in desperation, is now asking local householders to tip them off to suspected Colombian dopesmuggling gangs who may move into their neighborhoods. The P.D. narcs are clearly hoping for a Miami repeat of last year’s temporary “cleanup” in Jackson Heights, New York, when irritated residents tipped off the NYPD to various Colombian coke operations after a wave of gang murders.
The snuffing of Miami coke jefe (“chief,” or “heavy”) German Jimenez Panesso was the climax of a Colombian coke feud that accounted for 23 substantiated homicides in southern Florida in the first six months of 1979—not counting various murders elsewhere, unsolved disappearances and injuries to bystanders.
LONDON—British Customs officers recently conducted a job action in which, by rigorously searching every single incoming passenger and freight shipment exactly according to the book, they tried to demonstrate how understaffed they are.
"Cocaine for Horses"— an Easy Score for Irish Heads
CORK, IRELAND—“A good horse story” is all that’s needed to obtain cocaine over the counter at drugstores in southern Ireland, according to one horse owner/coke connoisseur here. When the owner’s stallion developed chronic eye trouble while his vet was on vacation, the man was able to persuade his pharmacist to sell him a brand of eye drops that contain cocaine.
DUBLIN—Four men believed to be Irish Republican Army (IRA) gunrunners have been busted in connection with 850 pounds of pot seized in a harbor here. The biggest grass shipment ever nailed in Ireland, it was found aboard an Ecuadorian banana boat bound for Great Britain.
OPPENHEIM, WEST GERMANY—Local cops, working with the U.S. Army’s Criminal Intelligence Division, have so far busted 24 American soldiers at nearby Anderson barracks in Dexham as part of a nationwide heroin crackdown. A Turkish couple and three West German women are charged with being the dealers to the base.
SAN ANTONIO—A wealthy Iranian’s successful ruse to slip out of Teheran during last year’s revolution has so far put five people here in jail on charges involving eight pounds of raw opium. It seems the Iranian, a Jewish merchant in his 80s, told an American friend in Teheran, in late 1978, that he was convinced he’d never get out of the country alive with his money, so he’d converted it into eight pounds of O. The Yank friend, a Pan Am pilot, flew it in the cockpit of his Boeing 707 back to New York and moved it through Kennedy airport in a briefcase to his home in Northampton, Massachusetts.
The venerable Women’s Christian Temperance Union, after 105 years of horsewhipping alcoholics and their suppliers, has resolved to strive against cocaine as well. According to WCTU president Edith Stanley, the casual abuse of snort has been picked up lately by “young, urban professionals” who throw “fashionable parties” where they “serve it in their hors d’oeuvres.”
American Psychiatric Association Comes Out for Decrim
CHICAGO—The American Psychiatric Association (APA), emphasizing that grass doesn’t make people crazy while jail certainly does, has affirmed its support for nationwide marijuana decriminalization. "For the majority of users," notes the APA, "the main danger is being convicted of a crime."
Office-Seeking Sheriff Accused of Setting Up 23 in Panhandle
BLOUNTSTOWN, FLORIDA—Undercover narcs from nearby Marianna infiltrated this little town in the depression-wracked Florida pan-handle for a month last spring. The rope-a-dope operation, which netted a total of 23 people for petty dope busts, was conducted by Calhoun County sheriff Buddy Smith, who was running for reelection.
BOGOTÁ—The National Police special narcotics unit, F-2, claims to have dealt a fatal blow to the “international cocaine mafias” when they seized 800 kilos of pure refined cocaine ready to be shipped to the United States. The unprecedented poundage of pure was allegedly nabbed in a series of raids executed by 250 men who descended upon private homes in all parts of Bogotá.
Six more weeks of goddamn winter! And you want to know why? Well, it seems old Mr. Groundhog was being monitored by a gang of pointy-headed university neuroscientists who were studying the biology of hibernation. They had poor old Mr. Groundhog all cocooned in EEG wires, deep-cerebellum cannulas and a rectal thermometer.
Coroner: Presley Too Habituated to Downs for an OD
Elvis Presley’s bloodstream showed up ten different drugs, all downs, according to coroner Jerry Francisco, but since “they were not even having the desired therapeutic effect,” says Dr. Francisco, he didn’t OD from them. Bereaved Elvis devotees have lately become so convinced that he croaked from dope that his prescribing physician, Dr. George Nichopolous, asked for and got police protection.
Middle-echelon dealers are assessing the effects of this fall’s drought; a lot were put out of business when the Caribbean crunch combined with the Colombian dope war to dry up Florida like a prune. As a result, some hot inland Colombian markets have developed—bottom-dollar prices of $350 to $425 a pound are being reported in places like Nebraska, Kansas, Wisconsin and Ohio.
Positively the last underground interview with Abbie Hoffman...(maybe)
Stoned is the best way to appreciate Abbie Hoffman. Once one of the most visible and persistent symbols of the '60s, the mythmaking co-founder of the Yippies (along with Jerry Rubin) has been a fugitive for the last six years, ever since his 1973 arrest in New York for conspiracy to sell cocaine.
At last, an assignment made in heaven. The Great Editor in the Sky must have smiled: High Times was sending its celebrated cannabis connoisseur, “R.,” to Hawaii to report on the state of the art of marijuana. Just as every devout Muslim must make it once to Mecca before he dies, so too must any serious connoisseur worthy of the title tour those blessed isles and taste firsthand, at its freshest, the finest marijuana in the world.
Wherein our intrepid reporter treks deep into the jungle to harvest the smoke that made the island famous
The first light of day is in the sky, rosy lavender in the east, the moon has dropped behind the mountain. Rick and I are each carrying 20 or 30 pounds of organic fertilizer in our packs; in Laura’s there are a half dozen six-week-old marijuana seedlings, 10 to 12 inches tall.
From the lush land of sulfur-simmering volcanoes comes the most explosive high ever known in Polynesian paradise. The most celebrated of Hawaiian dope varieties—a special breed that thrives in the heady fragrant jungles of Kauai—has been finding its way to the mainland where it is prized for its uniquely euphoric spell.
First of all, you gotta see a UFO. Or something equally weird. Jennings Frederick, a good ol’ boy from West Virginia, sure enough did. It was a beautiful summer day in July of 1968, and Jennings was on his way home from hunting woodchuck when he heard a weird high-pitched jabbering.
The way things are going in outer space, it makes perfect sense to wonder what you’ll do when the first extraterrestrial terrenaut skitters out of his flying saucer into your own backyard. How will you know if he’s friendly, or if that’s a lethal instrument he’s pointing at you?
Or the metaphysics of masturbation as sided by popular pornography
Glenn O' Brien
If you’re a guy, you probably know all about beating the meat, wanking the bone, pounding the pud, et cetera. If you’re a girl, these terms mean jerking off, or masturbation. This means self service sex. Masturbation is no big deal. But it used to be.
Most liquor is 80 or 86 proof, which means that it is 40 or 43 percent alcohol. This arrangement seems to satisfy most people quite well. However, there are several liquors that have proofed themselves into headier regions. They start at 100 proof or 50 percent alcohol.
NEW YORK CITY—Complaints of ozone poisoning among Pan American Airlines flight attendants have increased by more than 600 percent in recent years. Ozone, a toxic gas, alters blood chemistry and can cause genetic mutations resulting in stillbirths and deformed babies.
During the late 1950s, the Central Intelligence Agency investigated the possibility of using subliminal stimulation as a mind-control technique. According to previously classified documents obtained by High Times, the CIA considered using subliminal manipulation for a number of purposes including implanting suggestions or commands and lessening a subject’s resistance to hypnosis.
SOUTH DADE, FLORIDA—A young woman flight attendant who lives in the Devon-Aire development here is suing the South Dade police for letting three enormous, gun-wielding bail bondsmen terrorize her for a half hour, under the impression she was harboring a $50,000-pot-case bail jumper.
BALTIMORE—The much-weathered, 34-year-old fuselage of the legendary Enola Gay B-29 bomber sits in a hangar outside town here between a German Arado 196 and a U.S. Navy A-4, and about the only people who take the trouble to view it these days are Japanese tourists.
MEXICO CITY—There will be 30 million people stuffed into this city by the year 2000, according to relatively optimistic predictions by the World Bank. Even if vigorous measures are taken to upgrade the quality of rural life in the next 20 years, the bank predicts that at least half the world population will be living in some 40 urban conglomerates such as Mexico City and Tokyo-Yokohama, mostly in conditions of absolute poverty.
BUENOS AIRES—Cops raided the offices of three human-rights groups here, confiscating documents on some 14,000 missing persons, just before an official visit of the Inter-American Human Rights Commission last fall. The police said they were only confiscating prosecution evidence in the perjury trial of a local woman who is charged with giving out false information about the disappearance of her daughter.
LINARES, CHILE—A state-supported colony of 250 ex-Nazi “military advisers” exists near this southern Chilean community, according to the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency. Documents recently declassified by the American superspy agency reportedly confirms that the fascist government of Gen.
LONDON—Rita Pankhurst, daughter-in-law of the formidable turn-of-the-century suffragist Sylvia Pankhurst, is currently collecting a history of the global feminist movement that will include everything pertinent from the Renaissance to the election of Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher.
ATHENS—This country enjoys the lowest crime rate in the industrialized West, along with perhaps the most permissive legal system in the world. Last year the Greek homicide rate was 1.3 per 100,000, as compared to 8.8 per 100,000 in the United States; and the percentage of arrests among the population was precisely half the U.S. rate.
SHANGHAI, CHINA—The exceptional industry of a family here has not only made them relatively rich, it has also put them up as the focus of a national debate in the press. Last year Fan Zaigen, his wife and eight children went straight to work when new federal legislation enabled people to legally make money on the side from private enterprise, as long as they fulfill their allotted communal labors for the state.
ANKARA, TURKEY—The U.S. military wants to use Turkish bases for its new model U-2 spy plane to conduct "line-of-sight" surveillance into the Soviet Union. The Yanks have been pressuring Turkey on the U-2 issue ever since the Iranian revolution last year, when the CIA very abruptly lost all its old cold-war spy posts on the USSR's southwestern border.
Zimbabwe Gets Copters from France, Israel and United States
BULAWAYO, ZIMBABWE RHODESIA—The white-dominated Salisbury government is collecting more and increasingly fierce armaments, despite international sanctions that prohibit any nations from selling weapons to this powder-keg country.
LAGOS, NIGERIA—On the eve of this country’s first free elections since 1967, almost all Soviet military advisers have been evicted from Nigeria on the grounds of general arrogance and slipshod performance. Russian army trainers had been working in the country for years, teaching Nigerian pilots how to operate the several MIG-21 jet fighters the military government had purchased; and while the training itself was satisfactory, Nigerian military engineers say that the much-touted MIGs tend to fall apart after just a few years’ use and resist repairs even by imported Russian technicians.
BROWNSVILLE, TEXAS—A kidney-shaped 155-acre banco (island), sitting smack-dab in the middle of the Rio Grande across from here, may become the world’s newest independent nation by the end of the year. Currently the abode of a Mexican okra farmer and some 100 migrant workers who dwell there from May to September every year, the banco could soon have its own government, health-service center and lucrative international shipping registry.
Mystery Man Scales Glacier-Topped Mountain—Barefoot!
Radio Free Arctic
Prickly but Precious
Wanted: Roaches, 5p Each
Incredible Shrinking Woman
Most Wiped off the Map
How Both Halves Live
Taiwan Sells Out USA
“You don’t know my name,” declared the barefoot black man who visited two astounded British mountaineers on the 17,058-foot peak of Mount Kenya in East Africa, “but you will.” The man had climbed to the top of one of the world’s toughest glacier-peaked mountains, carrying a bag of food but no scaling gear whatsoever, to commune with the ancestral Kikuyu diety En-gai, who presides over all Kenya from Africa’s second-highest mountain.
TORONTO—Radiologists here are convinced that the high rate of lung disease seen in people who shoot up street dope intravenously is due to “filling substances,” mainly talc, with which these drugs are commonly cut. Drs. Andreas Niedecker and James Sieniewicz of St. Michael’s Hospital examined five smack addicts with advanced respiratory diseases and found lung-tissue changes that were strictly characteristic of foreign-matter poisoning.
CHEYENNE—Wyoming has extended the constitutional right of American citizens to bear arms to the country’s original inhabitants, Indians. The sale of guns to Indians had been proclaimed illegal, for obvious reasons, when the Anglos invaded the West in the mid 1800s, and that law stayed on the books until this year.
For many years rock ’n’ roll came on singles—little records with big holes in the middle. They were cheap. During the late ’50s and early ’60s you could buy several each week on the average teenage allowance. And every normal teenager had a record player that could play nothing else and that usually had a handle and could go anywhere.
East Tenth Street, New York. I’m stoop sitting and despairing over Kerouac’s Desolation Angels—“Desolation, Desolation / so hard / To come down off of”— that old beat feeling, the abject mood American, the mid-century fashionable pessimism about society’s spiritual collapse.
In an era of cold, modern anonymity, it’s comforting to know that two scant vestiges of honored tradition somehow manage to survive: bar mitzvahs and handcrafted pipes from Guatemala. These meticulously detailed primeval puffers are based on designs inherited by modern-day Guatemalan artisans from their Mayan ancestors. Each has the look and feel of an ancient ceremonial pipe that today’s plastics can’t imitate. Price is $5 each (includes postage and handling) in a wide variety of styles. Write Arriba Imports, 43 West 27th Street, Suite 2-R, New York, N.Y. 10001.
You roller-skating freaks can now wear the object of your affection around your neck in the guise of a charming miniature leather skate from Lisa Frank, Inc., 2220 E. Hampton, Tucson, Ariz. 85719. Skates come in five colors (red, white, blue, tan and yellow) and two styles (necklace or key chain). Each skate is handcrafted in the Far East and retails for $7.
Phantasy Glass tooter
Are you still using plastic choco-flavor straws and wondering why your blow feels like someone pumped a fudge brownie up your nose? Class-up your act with a Phantasy Glass tooter. These sturdy snorters come in six styles—pictured here from left to right: spiral, vine, floral, snake, “tension” and scorpion—in your choice of white bronze or yellow brass ($12) or silver ($17 to $19; write for quote). Beauty meets function, nose meets blow, all’s right with the world. Contact the Phantasy Phactory, P.O. Box 2698, Huntington, N.Y. 11746, or call (516) 427-5233.
Checking your heart rate is now as easy as grasping a glass of orange juice thanks to the remarkable Insta-Pulse monitor from Bosig, Inc. When held in your hands it reads your heart-rate function from the tiny electrical impulses in your fingertips. Insta-Pulse works on the same principle as a hospital electrocardiograph, yet it weighs a mere ten ounces and runs for up to one full year (more than 100,000 readings) on a single nine-volt battery. In seconds you can see the effects of sex, alcohol, caffeine or cigarettes on your most critical organ. Send $149 to The Sharper Image, 260 California Street, San Francisco, Ca. 94111, or call toll-free (800) 622-0733.
Before bidding a final aloha to Hawaii, land of swaying palm trees, coconut groves and the trippiest cannabis this side of paradise, we take note of what is undoubtedly the islands’ most unique hallucinogen—Bufo marinas, the psychedelic cane toad.