AW: So do you know what you want for Xmas? TC: Well, first of all, I don't want anything for myself at Xmas, I think that's very selfish and what not. I know what I want for other people. For Jackie Kennedy I want a sex-change operation. The reason is that since the American people must have a Kennedy, I'd rather have a Jackie than a Teddy.
In "The Inside Story: POThibition" [High Times, July '78], Michael Chance's coverage of homopathic versus allopathic medicine was excellent and long overdue. Too many people have been made sicker by potent, doctor-prescribed, unnatural chemicals.
Q: While I was partying with a lady friend a while back she got kind of sore after a couple of really heavy orgasms, so I dropped a pinch of coke on her clitoris and began licking it. Well of course it numbed my tongue nicely, but I couldn't believe what it did to her.
What I crave in life is the extreme edge of experience. I have no desire to pursue a middle course. Only the new, the unexplored territory of the soul, has appeal to me. Through S&M, one can approach the fearsome specter of death seeking answers.
Three publishing events this past summer raised the stakes in the media-criticism game. One was the publication of James Monaco's seminal anthology, Media Culture (Delacorte). Another was the demise of More, the media magazine. Third and most exciting was the publication of the National Lampoon's Sunday Newspaper Parody.
A faithful reader of the column has written in to ask what the dope connoisseur's attitude is toward the phenomenon known as "the munchies." The implication in his letter is that there must be some contradiction between a connoisseur's sensibility and the kind of post-marijuana feeding frenzy that can drive grown men to consume fistfuls of Fritos.
Keith Richard, Stones lead guitarist caught by the Canadian Mounties with cocaine and heroin, has recently taken the same cure that worked so well on fellow ex-junkie Eric Clapton: electro-acupuncture. "It's a very simple electronic nine-volt operation," explains Richard, "a little metal box with leads that clip onto your ears.
Most folks are understandably chary of keeping a loaded gun—be it a pistol or a moose rifle—in the home. However, the popularity of pennyarcade shooting galleries suggests that Americans like nothing better than a nice safe afternoon of blowing away menacing imitation bad guys in the windows of simulated hideouts.
BOGOTA, COLOMBIA—Colombian authorities have strongly rejected the proposal of U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) Chief Peter Bensinger that military forces assume rule over the Guajiran peninsula, Colombia's prosperous dope-exporting province.
One of the Soviet Union's top health officials recently explained the reasons for the USSR's ultraconservative policy on recreational drug use, calling marijuana a "narcotic" and boasting that "the whole Soviet Union has fewer drug addicts than a single large Western city."
WASHINGTON, D.C.—The United States Drug Enforcement Administration's recent alphabetical listing of the most frequently stolen drug products is a good indication of the types of highs people are pursuing today. The 24 most stolen drugs include Amytal (and all other forms of amobarbital), Benzedrine (and all other forms of amphetamine), Darvon (and all other forms of propoxyphene), Demerol (meperidine HCI), Desoxyn (and all other forms of methamphetamine), Dexamyl (and all other amphetamine-barbiturate combinations), Dexedrine (and all other forms of dextroamphetamine), Dilaudid (hydromorphone HCI), Empirin Compound with Codeine (and similar preparations with codeine), and Exkatrol (combination of dextroamphetamine and prochlorperazine).
BANGKOK—Thai authorities, long criticized in the United States for their ineffectiveness at halting the dope trade, have balked at current U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration pressure to wage a major antihemp offensive. "I think marijuana suppression is more difficult than eliminating Communist insurgents," said the governor of Nakhon Phanom province after government agents waged a week-long war on area plantations and captured less than five tons of cannabis plants.
MIAMI, FLORIDA—The Metro Airport Narcotics Unit, credited with one of the most impressive bust records in the world, admits that much of its success in detecting dope couriers en route through Miami International is due to the federal Drug Enforcement Administration's composite "drug courier profile."
PARK RAPIDS, MINNESOTA—A 72-year-old health-food advocate was busted here by an undercover agent who'd set up a grass buy with him. A plainclothes narc bought 27 ounces of home-grown from Walter Moehlman, retired, who smokes it to relieve his glaucoma and sinus headaches, and then busted him for trafficking.
SAN FRANCISCO—A law suit against the chairman of United Artists Theatre Circuit, Inc., the world's second largest movie-theatre chain, describes him as an acid-dropping Timothy Leary acolyte who gets personal messages from God over FM radio.
KEY LARGO, FLORIDA—Local cops recently discovered a 200-pound dynamite bomb on a dirt road leading down to a secluded dock near here. The rotting wooden dock—aptly named "Dynamite Dock"—is a popular off-loading site for dope ships, and the bomb may have been part of a smuggler's feud.
Royal Canadian Mounted Police, working on a U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration tip, nailed 588 pounds of Charas hashish in a truck on a highway near Hull, Quebec. The hash had been hand-packed in 100 rubber forklift tires in India and shipped out of Bombay in 25 crates to a fictitious company in Montreal.
Katherine Kennedy, 29, was released from prison after a year's detention on drug charges by a Colombian judge who reportedly may have swallowed her story that she's related to the Hyannisport Kennedys. Three American men and a Colombian woman were busted with Kennedy in a boarding-house raid in Colombia, when DAS narcs nailed 530 grams of coke, plus a few pounds of grass.
Ring out the old, smuggle in the new! Considering that the 1978-9 cannabis harvest was unprecedentedly bountiful, both in the States and in our more tropical neighbor nations, there really doesn't seem to be an awful lot of it falling by the wayside somehow.
La Dur, a 2½-year-old dope-sniffing Schnauzer that was named 1977 Officer of the Year by the Orlando, Florida, Police Department, was recently retired on charges of cowardice. According to narcs, the dog would pursue a bust until the very last moment and then either just sit down and bark at the suspect or turn tail and run.
FELT FORUM, NEW YORK CITY—A crowd of 4,000 heads, feds and radical celebs packed New York's most fashionable civic auditorium for a "Bring Abbie Home" benefit this August. The rally was held to urge that Abbie Hoffman, in hiding since a 1974 coke bust, be allowed to live freely.
• Lung-cancer victim Lynn Pierson, who became the first patient to be granted legal grass under New Mexico's new cannabis-therapy program, died this August before actually receiving any from the government. Pierson, only 26 years old, wanted to use the dope to offset the horrendous nausea suffered along with his anticancer chemo-therapy.
Son of "Papillon" Convicted for 220-Pound Coke Deal
A Colombian who claims to be the illegitimate son of "Papillon," the celebrated prisoner whose escape from Devil's Island spawned a major book and movie, has been convicted in U.S. District Court in Chicago of conspiring to import 220 pounds of cocaine.
AFGHANISTAN AUSTRALIA BRAZIL CANADA COLOMBIA DENMARK ENGLAND MEXICO PANAMA PERU SPAIN USA High Times welcomes anonymous reports, but please be specific about the area, type, quantity and quality of dope referred to. If you are aware of other prices or have other relevant information or suggestions, please send them in.
Close-up conversation with the world's most controversial wildlife photographer and ecologist
Peter Beard is sort of interesting because he is a happy fatalist. A brilliant photographer of Africa's vanishing wildlife, he has discovered that human life is dying as well. There's no hope at all. Still he goes on to shoot the most amazing photographs of our expiring planet, documenting the inevitable.
Old Meyer was dying. Miami's leading dope dealer for over half a century, dealing only with the carriage trade, he trafficked only in the finest marijuana: Kona sinsemilla, pure Guajiran gold, second-generation Thai. And now he was dying, full of years and money.
The life and times of the greatest jazzman, junkie, juicer, hipster and free-form bebop king
THE LEGEND OF CHARLIE PARKER
Revisiting Birdland, "The Jazz Corner of the World," struck me at first as a hoot. Who even knew that the once-famous cabaret, opened in 1949 and named after jazz's greatest hero and martyr, Charlie Parker, known as Yard-bird, or simply Bird, was still in existence?
Trees fall like rain, rain falls too, in this mixture of Indians, chain saws and savage bull-Finns hell-bent on buggery
Andre LaDoucer and the Dirty Video Disaster
That Goddamn Cook and His History of Violence
Many times Johnny has flown into the smaller logging camps of British Columbia, leaving behind him civilization, loved ones and, often as not, creditors. Dropping down through the last high pass toward the West Coast ocean in a tiny seaplane, often blown through the mountains like a piece of litter through traffic, it is with a profound sense of relief he notes the cluster of camp buildings below, remembering with mixed emotions how, moments before, he had stared into the unblinking red eyes of a squirrel perched on a sturdy fir bough inches off the plane's wing tip.
Like a galaxy of milky-white solar systems lying athwart the oil-blackened tarmac of outer space, the lane dividers of America's highways separate the right lanes from the left like the mucous wall in the nose of God. After prolonged use the dividing line grows blurred, vehicles pass in the wrong lanes, and radar gongs clang in downtown speed-trap-control console computers.
Once thought only worth drinking in case of snakebite or cardiac arrest, tequila is now America's second-favorite import from south of the border. If the present tequila thirst continues, the hot-blooded cactus will rival the marijuana business in Mexico for popularity with high-society gringos.
"Mon, I was just 'cutting up a touch,' you know. Slicing out some lines real fine, so when I snorted the mareewanna the seeds wouldn't stick in my nose. One moment I was slicing up a kilo of Colombian. Then my sister came into the room. I thought she was a kilo of Colombian and I hacked her up.
My adventures with the remarkable Brotherhood of Eternal Love, the world's holiest dope-smuggling ring
From the summer of 1966 until about the end of 1973, the Brotherhood of Eternal Love conducted what was in effect the largest psychedelic smuggling operation in history. But it was more than just a simple question of smuggling drugs; it was a cause, and a righteous one at that, for what had impelled them along the open road to risk was not money but a sincere belief that human life is better lived by getting high.
DUCKS, DIETS, PAINTED VANS AND OTHER SUPERSTITIOUS BELIEFS OF THE PRIMITIVE AMERICANS
The Cult Prole
The Van Cult
The Cult Diet
The Mail-Order Cult
The Cult Transportation
The Religious Cult
The Cult Commercial
The Redneck Cult
The Cult Town
The Cult Sensibility
The Cult Gun
The Cult Comic Book
The Movie Cult
"Pot is everywhere; thousands of people smoke it as often as they take aspirins. But the fact of illegality has bred a cultishness, a pot underground whose partisans are forced to skulk around like spies, convening in dark rooms to pass their criminal pleasure from hand to nervous hand.
Friends in London had warned me not to take drugs into West Berlin under any circumstances: "The Customs agents will undoubtedly search you because they are so uptight about terrorists and you look like one. Just give your, stash." they said, "to us."
SEABROOK, NEW HAMPSHIRE—The 18,000 people who showed up in this out-of-the-way town to demonstrate against a proposed nuclear power plant are convinced that they are the first wave in the most important political movement of the coming decade.
Large timber-exploiting corporations in Eureka, California, and elsewhere in the Pacific Northwest have lately taken to defoliating "weed trees" with a vengeance. As defined by the companies, a "weed tree" is any broadleafed floral species that is less commercially profitable, in terms of paper and construction material, than pines, firs or redwoods.
PERRINE, FLORIDA—FBI agents have seized over a ton of high explosives here and arrested a man who they claim intended to use them for bombing South American whaling ships. James Rose, 30, had scored the ordnance—3,000 coiled feet of lead-sheathed plastique, 30 pounds of white gunpowder, 150 blasting caps and two packed pipe bombs—in Ohio and drove it south in a rent-a-truck.
PINTO GORDO, NEW MEXICO—Eight thousand people to date have viewed the face of Jesus Christ that Maria Rubio is convinced she miraculously burned onto a tortilla at her home here while cooking burritos for her husband Eduardo. The tortilla, which Rubio keeps in a glass case, is said to bear a truly astonishing likeness to the image of Jesus supposedly preserved on the Shroud of Turin.
A lawyer in Oregon has filed a class-action suit asking that state prisoners be given the right to vote, and he has some support from prison officials. Steve Chochrek's suit, filed in Salem, where he is serving robbery time in the state penitentiary, says it is unconstitutional for prisoners to be denied voting rights.
UNITED NATIONS, NEW YORK—By the year 2000, the world will have no more than 5.8 billion people on it, if present trends continue. According to the United Nations Fund for Population Activities, this actually represents the benefits of a 15-percent decline in the global birth rate over the last ten years.
A group of farmers in Walla Walla, Washington, have asked the county commissioners to post "Bee Crossing" signs. The farmers say that auto traffic is "fatal" to low-flying alkali bees, which move in established flight patterns and are choosy about the alfalfa fields they do their pollinating in.
BOGOTA, COLOMBIA—Colombia's electronics industry, the most technologically advanced on the South American continent, is tentatively gearing up to produce color television sets for this country's smuggler-rich elite. The government-backed electronics company here, Industria Colombiana de Electrodomesticos, is already producing color screens and tubes in the face of a heated public debate over whether investments in luxuries like color TVs are proper, in view of the backwardness of most of the country.
BOGOTA, COLOMBIA—A few hundred miles of swamp and jungle near the Panama-Colombia border comprise the only remaining gap in the Pan-American Highway, which would otherwise stretch unbroken from Alaska to Tierra del Fuego. The undeveloped gap is mainly the result of mutual political resentments between Panama and Colombia dating from even before 1914, when with U.S. assistance Panama declared unilateral independence from Colombia.
BOGOTA, COLOMBIA—Representative Alberto Santofimio Botero, an influential Liberal Party politician, has been released from his luxury VIP cell in Bogota's 11th District police station. Santofimio Botero was jailed during the administration of President Lopez Michelsen for approving fat government "technical services" payments to some highly suspicious people, including an illiterate, at least one minor and a nationally renowned football player.
With the arrest and deportation of Robert Heller, charged by U.S. police with running a Miamibased crime organization, President Rodrigo Carazo made it clear that his campaign to end Costa Rica's status as an outlaws' paradise meant business.
EL MORRO FORTRESS, SANTIAGO, CUBA—Total restoration of this seventeenth-century Spanish castle overlooking Santiago de Cuba Bay was recently completed, and it has been turned by the Castro government into a Museum of Buccaneering. In the heyday of Caribbean piracy, the castle was used as a seagoing base by such immortal figures as Henry "Blackbeard" Morgan, Jacques de Suras and Cornelius "Peg Leg" Jolls.
SAN JUAN, PUERTO RICO—Puerto Rican statehood is emerging as the central political issue here as the 1978 presidential elections draw closer. The politically liberal Popular Democratic party, which currently controls the legislature and the presidency in San Juan, has consistently opposed incorporation into the USA as the 51st state.
BAJA CALIFORNIA, MEXICO—The newly discovered Mexican oil reserves, now believed to be greater than those of Iran and Kuwait, may very shortly clean up the USA's "illegal alien" problem, according to the State Department. Lobbying Congress in support of President Carter's program to grant amnesty to long-term "alien" residents in the U.S., the Department pointed out that the problem mainly springs from Mexico's "staggering 50 percent unemployment rate."
KRAKOW, POLAND—The Communist Party is launching a new crackdown on what they term "reactionary" trends in Poland—beginning with the semisecret "Self-Education" program of historical lectures delivered by accredited professors in private apartments around the country.
TURIN, ITALY—To celebrate the 400th anniversary of its arrival here, this city is publicly exhibiting the celebrated Shroud of Turin, a 14-by-3-foot swatch of herringbone linen purported to be Jesus' burial cloth. Long considered by most authorities to be a fraud, the Shroud has more recently been shown to be perplexingly "authentic" by modern scientific analyses.
GÖTEBORG, SWEDEN—Convicts at Harlanda Prison here were scheduled to play a game of football with local Lutheran clergymen, but just before the opening whistle seven of them jumped the churchyard fence and took off through the cemetery. Three were immediately nailed by cops, but four commandeered a Volvo and got away.
ALGECIRAS, SPAIN—Basque-nationalist terrorists infiltrated and bombed a massive new nuclear facility here last year in one of the mounting series of terrorist attacks on N-plants all over Europe. Only the fact that the radioactive reactor fuel hadn't yet been installed prevented a massive disaster, authorities say.
LONDON, ENGLAND—London Hindus recently imported a quantity of "holy water" from a river in India that was later identified as the source of a lethal typhoid epidemic in that country. To observe their annual ten-day festival of purification, members of the Shree Vallabh Nithi sect imported 400 copper pots of water from the River Jumna, a tributary of the Ganges, one of the world's most pestilent rivers.
RHEIMS, FRANCE—A new French law has been passed ordaining that all drivers stopped by police, for any reason whatsoever, must submit to breath-analysis tests for alcohol. Anyone found to be inebriated will be required to wait by the roadside until he or she sobers up.
Englishman J. Hammerton, who was mistaken for a rabbit and shot while making love in a field, has just lost his claim for compensation for the loss of his eye. Rafaelo Darienzo testified he'd been out shooting rabbits on his employer's farm some years ago and had bagged two when he lost sight of a third in tall grass.
BEIRUT, LEBANON—The bar of the St. George Hotel, once a national institution of a far greater influence than the Lebanese Army, remains, like the rest of the hotel, a charred, empty shell. Diagonally across the street, where air-conditioned elevators once wafted visiting sheiks to penthouse suites with the best view in the Arab world, the Holiday Inn remains a twisted skeleton of metal, broken glass and charred concrete.
NEW DELHI—The Hindustan Times has blamed the caste system for the death of 78 persons. The incident occured when a bus carrying 86 passengers got trapped in floodwaters about 100 miles southwest of Delhi. A tea-stall operator tried to come to the rescue by tying a rope around a truck standing on higher ground and then attaching it to the stranded bus.
TOKYO, JAPAN—Since Japan is so far away from most other industrialized countries, its business people have often suffered chronic fatigue and jet lag from regular 17-hour transpolar flights. Japan Air Lines is instituting a "sleeper" service on most of its flights, with beds available to passengers—at $175 extra.
TOKYO, JAPAN—Cops from the National Police Agency met for three days with U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration agents here last year to exchange information about a Japanese crime syndicate that's supposedly spreading across the Pacific into the States.
EZERUM, TURKEY—Local folk pharmacist Ismet Okyar was doing a booming business in "powdered rhinoceros horn" love potions until a neighbor happened to spy him grinding up bricks and bottling the powder in solution. Five enraged aphrodisiac consumers descended on Ismet's home, stripped him, tied him to a tree and beat him up, and then they made him guzzle his whole stock of rhino horn.
One of the world's most primitive tribes is literally eating its way to extinction. The tribe, called the Onges, lives on a tiny island in the Arabian Sea. At the turn of the century they numbered about 700. Today there are less than 160, and scientists fear those won't survive beyond the next generation.
PEKING, CHINA—The "Gang of Four" had hardly been officially disgraced for a year before short skirts came into style in the trendier neighborhoods here. Now liberalization continues with the unopposed resumption of cheek-to-cheek dancing at private parties, even with top Party members present.
PRETORIA, SOUTH AFRICA—Digging beneath the long-abandoned Premiere diamond mine, De Beers Consolidated Mines geologists have discovered an enormous new block of kimberlite rock, estimated to yield at least 72 carats of diamonds per 100 tons of kimberlite.
ENTEBBE, UGANDA—Ever since personally putting his minister of health into an automobile that subsequently smashed into a brick wall and exploded, President Field Marshal Idi Amin has been running the Ugandan Health Ministry by himself.
CAPETOWN, SOUTH AFRICA—South African movie producers spent weeks ballyhooing a big disco party here for the opening of Saturday Night Fever, but the bash fell through at the last minute. The American-based production companies CIC-Warner Brothers and Truetone Records asked the Pretoria government for permission to throw an integrated party, but it was denied.
QUEENSLAND, AUSTRALIA—The ultraconservative governor of Queensland Province has allied with a consortium of American, French and Dutch mining companies to illegally dispossess the native aborigines of a desolate northern section of this Australian territory.
The recent microscopic examination of a meteorite gathered from an Antarctic ice shelf revealed that it is heavily laden with prebiological substances, including amino acids, the building blocks of life. The meteor is thus the first extraterrestrial containing the precursors of life to be found on Earth.
North Carolina Army Corps sergeant David Strider has petitioned the State Drug Abuse Commission to allow him legal access to marijuana on the grounds that it is the only drug that relieves all of the 81 allergies with which he is afflicted. When Sgt.
Two young American women busted for coke-running in Puerto Rico and sentenced to ten years apiece have been ruled victims of "cruel and unusual punishment" in the U.S. Court of Appeals for the First Circuit in Boston, Massachusetts. Custom narcs at San Juan International Airport had instigated strip searches of the two, aged 21 and 23, after noting "suspicious" anxiety manifested by one of the women.
The recent Stones fever this past summer was in part fueled by the hysteria surrounding the band's catch-us-if-you-can concert tour, wherein an unusually flexible itinerary allowed the Stones to play nearly spontaneous dates in theaters and smaller arenas around the country.
Bruce Springsteen was hailed as the next big thing of the mid '70s because his songs matched the fed-up fuck-it-all attitude of the American adolescent better than any cultural artifact since James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause. Three years later, on Darkness on the Edge of Town (Columbia JC35318), Springsteen’s familiar characters are all still here—the Brando-emulating punks, the lost-in-the-flood heroes and the mixed-up, fiercely independent women—but they've all grown.
OK, you're sort of into reggae. But when the sound gets dreader, when Bunny Waiter or U-Roy or the Spear's Winston Rodney begin to get down, to really testify, do you feel as uncomfortable as a tourist walking through Trenchtown at 4 A.M.? Is that what's troubling you, baldie?
There was a time in the early '70s when you might have come across Iggy Pop wandering the streets of Los Angeles half-crazed and on the verge of distributing religious pamphlets, a victim of his own premature punk talents. Were it not for the intervention of longtime fan David Bowie, the producer of three previous Iggy albums since 1973, the Ig might have been relegated to a bizarre footnote in the pages of rock 'n' roll history.
Singer Flora Purim is currently facing deportation to Brazil for a seven-year-old coke bust. She was the darling of the new jazz elite until disaster struck—she had lent her guitar to a friend and when it was returned there was half a pound of cocaine in the case.
Television, the first New York new-wave band to actually record (the single "Little Johnny Jewel"), released a great first album in March '77 called Marquee Moon that was incredibly taut, highly melodic and persistently aggressive. Television's second album, Adventure (Elektra 6E133), is more electric, harder rocking, and with a greater emphasis on guitar solos.
"There was a time a few years back when it seemed like every day a different friend had either died in a motorcycle accident or ODed." John Prine was referring to "Sam Stone," his bitter song about a returning Viet vet. Songs like "Sam Stone" and "Illegal Smile"—a paean to the joys of cannabis puffing—brought Prine to prominence in the early '70s as a bittersweet Dylan.
When Jerry Lee Lewis, alias "The Killer," married his 13-year-old cousin in the mid '50s, the work of this rockabilly Rembrandt was boycotted for years by disc jockeys, program directors and outraged mothers. Next came a few bad marriages, a bout with the demon alcohol, amphetamine addiction and God knows what else.
At last, a complete listing of every name, date, fact and figure in the career of Elvis Presley. Paul Lichter, the world's selfproclaimed only official Elvisologist, is to the Pelvis what Von Kochel was to Mozart, an inexhaustible archivist whose labors have made it possible to see Elvis's work in sequence and consequence as well as in hundreds of photographs (both in color and black and white) including rare snapshots of the King with the Dorsey Brothers, Milton Berle, Natalie Wood, Jackie Wilson and Nick "The Rebel" Adams.
If Helen Keller were alive today, she'd stash her dope in an EasyKeeper baggie. EasyKeepers seal in flavor and goodness by shutting out THC-killing light with miraculous new black plastic. The Zip-Loc-type top makes sure the stash is sealed. Two EasyKeeper bags retail for about $1, wherever fine paraphernalia is sold. To order directly from manufacturer, write for details to EasyKeeper Ltd., Box 77187, Atlanta, Georgia 30357.
Flipped Out and Flying High
Suppose you and your friend are standing on the top of two different 38-floor apartment buildings and the elevators have broken down. He has matches, you have dope. Well, thanks to the Flying Pipe you can pool your resources and get high. Just pack the pipe, fling it across to your friend, and he lights it and, if he is a good fellow, he flings it back to you, and if you're lucky you catch it. $6.50 plus 50¢ postage from House of a Thousand Tokes, P.O. Box 303, Brooklyn, New York 11209.
The Fire Within
"Pyramid" means "the fire within," much as "pyromaniac" means "arsonist," which explains why the Pyramid Pipe is the favored smoking implement of pointy-headed intellectuals everywhere. Boasting a six-inch gold ceramic base and rising to a mighty three inches above the swirling sands of the Sahara, the Pyramid Pipe has a wood bowl, a six-foot hose and a compass to help you set the base to true north. Then energizing water in the base will sweeten the taste of your favorite herbs when placed at the apex. Only $17.95 (postage included) from Youth United Now Organization, Box 708, Woodside, New York 11377.
If you look good in anything, you'll look great in petroleum-based latex, the genuine rubber substitute developed by our comrades in the Rhineland to cope with genuine military necessity. These togs really grip the body, the sheets and the road at top speeds. For a sensational catalog of gleaming, steaming, industrial-quality, sensuous, synthetic attire, send $3 plus 50¢ postage to Ultra Latex, published by Slimwear of America, Box 24937, Los Angeles, California 90024.
The hash pipe. The brewery. The Water-Pik. And now, the Amazing Original Flashlight Pen. Do you get milliondollar ideas at night? Save valuable thoughts with the A.O.F.P. At home, work, classes, lectures, theater, never lets you down. Priceless gift for students, writers, creative types, narcs in the dark. Includes standard bulb, batteries, extra ink cartridges and manufacturer's lifetime warranty. Only $6.95—special photographers' darkroom red-light pen for $7.95—plus 50¢ postage and handling from J.H. Brown Gifts and Novelties, 5502 Fillmore Avenue, Brooklyn, New York 11234.
Oh boy, I'm a T-shirt star! Call all the networks and bring me a guacamole! Is $6.95 too much, or is less much? Will it play in Peoria? Will it sell in the Third World? Make that a cheeseburger! I majored in Communications, what's my sign? And send it to Slow Printing Company, 1530 Barton Springs Road, Austin, Texas 78704. Tell them you're my uncle and give them a hickey. One has both the same as many legs as the other!
You too can zero in on a target and watch a stream of BBs literally rip it apart. A revolutionary concept in shooting fun, the freon-powered M-19-A is the first and only fully automatic weapon to be legally offered to the public. The magazine holds 3,000 BBs! All orders must include signed testimony showing age to be over 18 years. Only $33 from COCO, P.O. Box 451, Calabasas, California 91302.
As usual, High Times chose a man who's a cult hero himself to write this month's penetrating analysis of civilization, "Cult Culture" (page 94). John Calendo, formerly an editor of Andy Warhol's Interview, Oui and Hustler, is the author of Cold, described by critics as "a pretentious new play," which ran for three months this past spring in America's only punk-rock disco, La Mere Vipere in Chicago—a run that only ended when the bar burned down.