Issue: 20080101

Tuesday, January 1, 2008
January
1
True
149
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
5/10/2018 12:17:21 PM

Articles
cover
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Esquire
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0001.xml
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0_2,0_3,0_4,1
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Advertisements
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Sony Electronics Inc.
Sony BRAVIA HDTV
Sony Electronics Inc.
Sony Blu-ray Disc Player
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0002.xml
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2,3
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Louis Vuitton
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LOUIS VUITTON
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0003.xml
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4
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Iwc Schaffhausen: Pilot’s Watch Chrono-automatic
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IWC SCHAFFHAUSEN
Pilot’s Watch Chrono-Automatic
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0004.xml
tableOfContents
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5,8
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Esquire
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0005.xml
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6,7
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Advertisements
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American Honda Motor Co., Inc.
Bluetooth HandsFreeLink
American Honda Motor Co., Inc.
Honda Satellite-Linked Navigation System
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0006.xml
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9
9
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Officine Panerai: Ferrari
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OFFICINE PANERAI
Ferrari
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0007.xml
article
10
10,12,14,15,16
This Way In
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The Sound and the Fury
“I must agree that Charlize Theron is not only the Sexiest Woman Alive, but one of the most naturally beautiful.”
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The November issue ranged from the portentous (the chances of war with Iran) to the demystifying (what pushes Kobe Bryant, other than his wife) to the stunning (our annual selection of the Sexiest Woman Alive, Charlize Theron). And to answer your questions: No, the past winners didn’t die, and yes, we agree that your wives and girlfriends are just as beautiful.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0008.xml
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11
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Advertisement
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0009.xml
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13
13
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Vtech: Vtech Ls5145
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vtech
VTech LS5145
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0010.xml
masthead
14
14,16
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Esquire
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0011.xml
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14
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Sartoria Ravazzolo
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Sartoria Ravazzolo
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0012.xml
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15
15
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Zappos
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ZAPPOS
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0013.xml
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17
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Blu-ray Disc
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Blu-ray Disc
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0014.xml
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18
18
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Advertisements
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The MACALLAN
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The MALT
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0015.xml
article
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19
Man at His Best
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The Vocabulary
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SNIFTER n: A bowl-shaped glass for liquor (cognac, for instance), often swirled in a circular fashion to both aerate the liquid and concentrate the romance, even though liquor shouldn’t be drunk from a snifter at all. (SEE PAGE 29.) SWIRLING A SNIFTER n: An underused metaphor for any action that combines suavity with misinformation.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0016.xml
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20,21
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Infiniti: 330-hp G Coupe
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INFINITI
330-hp G Coupe
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0017.xml
article
22
22
Man at His Best
(Film)
One Fine Ham
Acting is fine. But Daniel Day-Lewis proves that overacting can be a lot more fun.
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Mike D’Angelo
For roughly the first 15 minutes of Paul Thomas Anderson’s magnificent oil-baron epic There Will Be Blood, Daniel Day-Lewis doesn’t speak a single intelligible word. There’s a fair bit of grunting, hissing, and moaning—his character, name of Plainview, is just a journeyman prospector at this point, physically engaged in the grimy nuts and bolts of digging wells—but no actual dialogue.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0018.xml
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23
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Advertisement: Prada Parfums
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PRADA Parfums
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0019.xml
article
24
24
Man at His Best
(The Harangue)
Lovingly Prepared Coffee
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DAVID KATZ
Quality is crucial. Let's agree on that right now. That thin stuff they let simmer for hours at the convenience store? Undrinkable. On that front, my friend, we couldn’t be more simpatico. See, we have so much in common. And yet—and I’m just being honest here— I feel like taking that espresso handle that you keep banging against the counter and knocking out your front teeth.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0020.xml
article
24
24
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The Rules
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Rule No. 568: The didgeridoo is the only instrument that can be displayed in your living room without you being able to play it. Rule No. 581: A man’s dog should be no smaller than his briefcase.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0021.xml
article
24
24
Man at His Best
(Music)
A Playlist of Hope, the New Year, and Pete Doherty
Our Resolutions' Soundtrack
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Andy Langer
Help the poor and needy. Better idea: Ask the Lord to do it. "Lord, Help the Poor and Needy," Cat Power, Jukebox A compassionate hymn that suggests again that New York hasn't frayed Chan Marshall's Southern roots. If only more modern blues rang this believable.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0022.xml
article
24
24
Man at His Best
(Facial hair)
Advent of the Mustache
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ALTHOUGH SOCIETY had been flirting with the return of the mustache for years. we'd remained unconvinced. It had become a trifle, a mockable propeven to those sporting it. But sometimes the truth comes at you unexpected. Like maybe riding down from the rooftop bar of a fine New York hotel, after an evening of drinks, in a paneled elevator crowded with not a few beautiful women, some of us yobs from the office, and, in the middle, a single man standing tall, in a dark suit, wearing a mustache.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0023.xml
article
25
25
Man at His Best
(Books)
The Great Escape
William Vollmann, come home!
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Benjamin Alsup
If the macho school of American literature teaches us anything, it’s that it’s good to get gone. You don’t need to go far, but go you must. William Vollmann knows this. He is hip to the seductions of the split. In more than 17 books of fiction and nonfiction, he has traveled with the mujahideen in Afghanistan, logged time in Bosnia, and slimed through low places from San Francisco to southeast Asia.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0024.xml
article
26
26
Man at His Best
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Funny* Joke From a Beautiful Woman
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PETER MARTIN
ONE NIGHT, on a camping trip, Sherlock Holmes wakes up Watson and says, “Look at the stars. What do you deduce?” Watson thinks for a minute and says, “Well, I see millions of stars, many of which resemble our sun, which most likely have their own planets, which most likely have life-forms like us, so I deduce that there is life on other planets.”
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0025.xml
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27
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Canadian Club Import Company: Canadian Club
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Canadian Club Import Company
Canadian Club
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0026.xml
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28
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Advertisements
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Bose Corporation
Lifestyle 48
Bose Corporation
Lifestyle V30
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0027.xml
article
29
29,30
Man at His Best
DRINKING
Cognac
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David Wondrich
Here's the problem with cognac: For $40, you can get as good a bourbon as you would ever want to drink. Shell out $80 and you're in the happy realm of 18-year-old single-malt Scotches. But $100 is where true sipping cognacs start. Not that smooth, rich, and balanced cognacs don't exist for less than that; but there's no reliable way of telling which ones they are, short of shelling out the cash to taste them and being prepared for disappointment.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0028.xml
article
30
30
Man at His Best
RECIPES FOR MEN
Baked Polenta with Sausage
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Francine Maroukian
Luke Palladino, the chef of Ombra and Specchio at the Borgata Hotel in Atlantic City, calls this "pasticciata," which means “a big mess” in Italian and usually refers to dishes in which the ingredients are mixed together and baked in a casserole.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0029.xml
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31
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Visa U.S.A. Inc.
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Visa U.S.A. Inc.
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0030.xml
article
32
32
Man at His Best
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Sex
Every time I’m about to have sex with my girlfriend, I sneeze once or twice. Is this some sort of a biological response or what?
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Stacey Grenrock Woods
I had something like that once, but instead of sneezing, I’d assassinate enemies of the state. Luckily, I found the implant in my neck and pulled it out! Anyway, you most likely have a condition colloquially called “Honeymooner’s Nose,” because “Recently-a-Virgin Fever” doesn’t have quite the same ring.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0031.xml
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33
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Advertisement: Esquire
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Esquire
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0032.xml
article
34
34
Man at His Best
Answer Fella
Swollen Eyes, Laughing Fits & Big Feet
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I saw a fight a few years back. One of the boxers was bleeding from his nose, and between rounds his trainer had him blow it. One commentator, George Foreman, said that this was bad because the guy's eyes would swell up. They did. How come? First of all, a word about George Foreman: saint.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0033.xml
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35
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Advertisement: Knob Creek
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KNOB CREEK
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0034.xml
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36
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Advertisement: Esquire
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Esquire
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0035.xml
article
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37
Man at His Best
STYLE
A Few Words on Layering
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FOR ALL THE TALK about imminent planetary doom via unprecedented warming trends, it's probably pretty freakin' cold where you live right now. Not necessarily shut-in cold, but cold enough that an overcoat isn't really cutting it.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0036.xml
article
38
38
Man at His Best
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A Few More Words on Lavering
How, when, and where you should double or triple up
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WORK We’re going to guess your workplace is heated. We’re also going to guess you’re not a high school wrestler trying to cut weight. If we’ve guessed correctly, lay off the layers during the workweek to minimize sweating. Keep it simple with a thick overcoat and a long scarf.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0037.xml
article
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39
Man at His Best
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Six Degrees of Snow Boots
Footwear for all your cold-weather needs
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0038.xml
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40
40,41,42,43
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Advertisements
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Intel Corporation
VRX Pro Racing Simulator
Intel Corporation
Dell XPS M1710 laptops
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0039.xml
article
44
44,46
America
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If You See It, Is It Real?
It seems like a trivial question. But the answer gets at the very nature of knowledge. Sort of.
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Chuck Klosterman
<p>WHENEVER I WRITE this column, I typically open with some kind of semifunny, semirelated anecdote that theoretically relates to whatever the real thesis is intended to be. This is a common technique, used by lots of writers. However, I am not going to do that with this particular column, because the subject is complicated.</p>
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0040.xml
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Advertisement: Esquire
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ESQUIRE
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0041.xml
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47
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Advertisement: Jeep Liberty
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Jeep Liberty
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0042.xml
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48
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Advertisements
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XEZO
Air Commando limited-edition watch
XEZO
The Swiss-made
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0043.xml
article
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49,50,51,52,54,56
Esquire NORTH
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11 Rooms with a View
When a writer trades his cramped one-bedroom for our tricked-out penthouse on Central Park, he’s on top of the world. Too bad it’s only for the weekend.
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PETER MARTIN
FOR THE FIFTH YEAR in a row, Esquire has taken over an incredible home—this one an $8.5 million triplex penthouse apartment overlooking Central Park in New York City—and worked with the world’s top designers and luxury brands to transform it into the ultimate bachelor pad.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0044.xml
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53
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Intel Corporation: Intel Centrino
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Intel Corporation
INTEL CENTRINO
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0045.xml
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55
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Intel Corporation: Intel Centrino
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Intel Corporation
INTEL CENTRINO
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0046.xml
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57
57
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Intel Corporation: Intel Centrino Duo-based Notebook
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Intel Corporation
Intel Centrino Duo-based notebook
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0047.xml
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58
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Mtm Special Ops: Mtm Xtreme Ops
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MTM SPECIAL OPS
MTM Xtreme Ops
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0048.xml
article
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59
What I've Learned
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Ten Years of Wisdom
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No introduction to what you’re about to read could possibly add anything to the experience of reading it. Every month for the last ten years, Esquire has collected the condensed life lessons, knowledge, and weird insights of people who have lived richly.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0049.xml
article
60
60,61,62,63,64,65,66,67
What I've Learned: 10TH ANNIVERSARY
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The Continuing Adventures of Tim & Johnny
Burton and Depp are known as two of the strangest, quietest geniuses ever to work in movies. Turns out they're not that strange. Or quiet.
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CAL FUSSMAN
One time a guy told me that he brought his wife to see Pirates of the Caribbean. She had lost her motor skills. I forget what you call it. It&rsquo;s not autism. Jesus, they made a movie about it. You know, where you recede and your functions start to go.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0050.xml
article
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68,69,70,71,72,73,74,75
What I’ve Learned
THE FIGHTERS
Michael J. Fox
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Scott Raab
<p>My body is an isometric exercise, because I’m always putting pressure against things. Whatever I’m doing at any given time, I’m also doing something else—I’ve always got this thing going on.</p>
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0051.xml
article
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71,73,75,76,77
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0 Years of Wisdom
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If I had been married earlier in life, I wouldn&rsquo;t have seen the double helix. I would have been taking care of the kids on Saturday. On the other hand, I was lonely a lot of the time. &mdash;James Watson, codiscoverer of DNA I&#39;ve always had the notion that I would have an extraordinary life.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0052.xml
article
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76,77
What I’ve Learned
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Carrie Fisher
Actress, writer, 45, Beverly Hills
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Mike Sager
Six years have passed since we interviewed Carrie Fisher—more than 10 percent of her life. We figured she must have done some more living and learning since then. (Not to mention working; she has two movies coming out this year, Fanboys, about Star Wars fans, and The Women) So we handed her a red pen and asked her to edit her wisdom accordingly.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0053.xml
article
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78,79,80,81,82,83
What I've Learned: The COMEDIANS
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Mel Brooks
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Cal Fussman
The iron test is: Do you laugh? If you laugh, you know they&rsquo;re gonna laugh. I had a lot of uncles who thought they were funny. But you know, the funniest thing about them is that they were incredibly short. Never stand up straight. That&rsquo;s what World War II taught me.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0054.xml
article
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81
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The What I've Learned Dictionary
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Architecture is the arrangement of space for excitement.—Philip Johnson Happiness is not money and it’s not fame and it’s not power. Happiness is a good wife, a good family, and good health. —Bobby Bowden Courage is doing something you need to do that might get you hurt.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0055.xml
article
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84,85
What I've Learned 10TH ANNIVERSARY
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Esky
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Stand clear of the line of fire. (January 1965) Even good liquor isn’t good for furniture. (March 1935) Nothing takes a beating and keeps coming back for more like a corduroy sport jacket. (September 1950) Reality has become the most seductive fantasy we can find.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0056.xml
article
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86,87,88,89,90,91
What I’ve Learned
THE RENEGADES
Steve Wynn
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<p>What are you really doing? At the <i>core</i>? My answer is—and this is what I’ve learned—you’re basically getting people to trust you.</p>
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0057.xml
article
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91,92,93
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The Cross-referenced What I've Learned
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Occasionally and unwittingly. a person doing a What I’ve Learned interview mentions someone else we’ve interviewed. This might say something about celebrity, the cosmos, and the invisible tendons that connect every one of us. Or it might be coincidence.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0058.xml
article
92
92,93
What I've Learned 10TH ANNIVERSARY
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What You've Learned
Each year, our readers enlighten, advise, admonish, and sometimes frighten one another with life lessons. Herewith, our fourth annual compendium.
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You can impress girls with the “struggling artist” persona until age thirty, tops. After that, you have to be a succeeding artist, or have a nice trust fund. This might not apply in France. —Benjamin Watson, 37, Merchantville, N. J. The people that I a dmire may not always be prepared, but they certainly aren’t shocked by anything.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0059.xml
article
94
94,95,96,97,98,99
What I’ve Learned
THE TALENT
Eric Clapton
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Cal Fussman
<p>Up until I became a father, it was all about self-obsession. But then I learned exactly what it’s all about: the delight of being a servant. Olivier wrote that the greatest thing you could aspire to in life was to be a good servant.</p>
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0060.xml
article
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99
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What I've Learned: the Movie
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Of the film directors who have been interviewed for What I’ve Learned, Robert Altman (February 2004) holds the record for having cast the greatest number (ten) of other interviewees in his films. (Oliver Stone, with five, came in second.)
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0061.xml
article
100
100,101
What I've Learned 10TH ANNIVERSARY
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What I've Learned Rod Steiger
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Mike Sagen
Fantasies of success should never precede endeavor. Only those who give you the best can give you the worst. Thought is like a snowball: The longer you live, the more it melts. Fear is an impossible thing to avoid. Pain is a teacher that must be understood.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0062.xml
article
102
102,201,104,105,106,107,108,109
STYLE
WHAT I’VE LEARNED
Bob Dylan
Look around you. From movie screens and radio waves to bestseller lists and Billboard charts, Dylan’s music and mythology are showing up just about everywhere these days. Same goes for his signature shades and somber sense of style, seen here (and on streets across America) and accompanied by a few words to the wise from the man himself.
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0063.xml
article
110
110,111,112,113,114,115,116,118,120
POLITICS
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John McCain's Last War
As it counts down the days to New Hampshire, his campaign is humbler. But the angry candidate is not.
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CHRIS JONES
<p>The bus is new, and so is the driver, and the driver is lost for the second time today; back in Des Moines, Amvets Post 2 had proved elusive as well. Now it's the tiny airport in Waterloo that's hiding somewhere in the corn and the failing light, twice unlucky for the man hollering in the back.</p>
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0064.xml
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117
117
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Advertisements
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Bose Corporation
QC3 headphones
Bose Corporation
QC2 headphones
[no value]
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0065.xml
advertisement
119
119
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Advertisement: P90x Trainer
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P90X Trainer
[no value]
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0066.xml
advertisement
120
120
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Advertisements
[no value]
Thompson Cigar Company
Cohiba
Thompson Cigar Company
Bolivar
[no value]
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0067.xml
article
121
121
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Credits
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Style, page 37: Victorinox Swiss Army parka, www.swissarmy.com. Banana Republic sweater, 888-277-8953. Hickey shirt, hickeystyle.com. DKNY Jeans jeans, dknyjeans.com. Page 38: Polo by Ralph Lauren overcoat, ralphlauren.com. J. Press scarf, 212-687-7642.
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0068.xml
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121
121
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Rosetta Stone Ltd.: Rosetta Stone Version 3
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Rosetta Stone Ltd.
Rosetta Stone Version 3
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Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0069.xml
advertisement
122
122,123
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Esquire Men's Marketplace
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0070.xml
article
124
124
This Way Out
[no value]
Fig. 3: Percentage of People Fooled as Function of Percentage of Time
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
EVAN EISENBERG
[no value]
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0071.xml
advertisement
125
125
[no value]
[no value]
Jack Daniel Distillery: Gentleman Jack
[no value]
Jack Daniel Distillery
GENTLEMAN JACK
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0072.xml
advertisement
126
126
[no value]
[no value]
Tag Heuer
[no value]
TAG Heuer
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20080101_0149_001_0073.xml