Issue: 20070201

Thursday, February 1, 2007
February
2
True
147
Monday, August 24, 2015
5/10/2018 12:18:31 PM

Articles
cover
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0_1
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Esquire
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0001.xml
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0_2
0_2,1
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Dolce & Gabbana
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dolcegabbana
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0002.xml
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2
2,3
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Giorgio Armani
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GIORGIO ARMANI
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0003.xml
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4
4,5
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Prada
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PRADA
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0004.xml
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6
6,7
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Gucci
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GUCCI
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0005.xml
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8
8,9
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Bally
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BALLY
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0006.xml
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10
10
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Advertisement: Ketel One
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Ketel One
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0007.xml
tableOfContents
11
11,14
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Esquire
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0008.xml
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12
12,13
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Acura
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ACURA
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0009.xml
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15
15
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Louis Vuitton
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LOUIS VUITTON
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0010.xml
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16
16,17
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Vtech
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vtech
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0011.xml
article
18
18,20,24,25
This Way In
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The Sound and the Fury
“For those of us African-Americans who have ascended, do we get T-shirts so the rest of the world knows to separate us from the others?”
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Although he wasn’t on the cover (that’s George Clooney, for those of you who didn’t recognize him) and he wasn’t one of the innovators profiled in our fifth annual Best & Brightest compendium, writer John Ridley prompted more letters than everyone else combined.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0012.xml
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19
19
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Knobcreek
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knobcreek
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0013.xml
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21
21
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L'oréal: Vive Pro
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L'ORÉAL
VIVE Pro
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0014.xml
article
22
22
This Way In
EDITOR'S LETTER
One Word
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DAVID GRANGER
WE OFTEN HEAR that the power of the written word has waned. For a fresh perspective, though, you have only to consider the response to John Ridley's essay in our December issue. Of course, some of the reaction centered on a single word in the title of his essay, "The Manifesto of It has to be more than thirty years since Richard Pryor used the word in his routines and on his albums.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0015.xml
masthead
22
22,24
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Masthead
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0016.xml
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23
23
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Lexus
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0017.xml
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25
25
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Givifashion: Aldo Bruè
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givifashion
Aldo Bruè
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0018.xml
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26
26
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Lincoln
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0019.xml
article
27
27
Man at His Best
The Front
Useful Advice From a Beautiful Woman
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DANIEL ROSS
How to get wax out of carpet: Place butcher's paper on the wax, shiny side up, cover the butcher's paper with a paper bag, and then press the paper bag with a hot iron. The wax lifts right off. ABOUT THE ADVICE GIVER: Take Cobie Smulders's homemaking tips with a bit of caution—the girl has spent a lot of time in transit.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0020.xml
article
28
28
Man at His Best
THE FRONT
The Leisure Meter
HOW TO ALLOCATE YOUR FREE TIME THIS MONTH
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Seeing The Number 23, a film about a man (Jim Carrey) whose growing obsession with a book that seems to mirror his life causes him to find numerical coincidences involvingߞnot surprisingly—the number 23.1 hour, 33 minutes Entertaining yourself with jokes about how the number 23 applies to other aspects of the film, like the number of people who might enjoy Carrey’s sex scenes.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0021.xml
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28a
28a,28b
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Calvin Klein: Eternity
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Calvin Klein
ETERNITY
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0022.xml
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29
29
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Benziger
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BENZIGER
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0023.xml
article
30
30,32
Man at His Best
THE SCREEN
Monster Imports
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MIKE D’ANGELO
WITH THE REALITY-TV CRAZE fostering unprecedented interest in documentaries, foreign films have become the true ugly stepchild of the movie business. Maybe you’ll never be interested in plotless films by auteurs with unpronounceable names like Hou Hsiao-hsien and Apichatpong Weerasethakul, but if you do feel like dabbling in foreign waters, now is an excellent time.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0024.xml
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31
31
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Jil Sander
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0025.xml
article
32
32
Man at His Best
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Quiz: the You-tube Critics
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RYAN D'AGOSTINO
NOW EVERYONE CAN SHARE their thoughts on whatever movie they happened to stumble into last night. Thanks, YouTube! Can you even tell what film these vloggers are talking about? Match the review with the movie. "It was one of those movies that, like, you're watching it and it hurts.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0026.xml
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33
33
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HBO Extras Ricky Gervais
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Home Box Office, Inc.
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0027.xml
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34
34,35
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Jaguar
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JAGUAR
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0028.xml
article
36
36
Man at His Best
WOMEN
Just a Guy on a Plane
ONE WRITER. TWENTY MODELS. SIX HOURS. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A DREAM COMES TRUE.
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DAVID WALTERS
WHEN I WAS SIX, I was morbidly obsessed with the Makea-Wish Foundation. With its help I could shoot baskets with Larry Bird, and all I had to do in return was die. So I hoped for the worst. Eighteen years later, I had a new wish, one I was only vaguely aware of until the opportunity arose: to be in a confined space with the most beautiful women on earth for several hours.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0029.xml
article
36
36
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The Rules (women)
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Rule No. 472: The calla lily is the best flower. Rule No. 473: Roses? Please Rule No. 501: There is an exactly 2 percent chance that you will be seated next to a beautiful single woman on your next flight. Rule No. 502: Less if you're flying first class.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0030.xml
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37
37
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Vitality: Oral-b
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Vitality
Oral-B
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0031.xml
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38
38
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Style Agenda
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0032.xml
article
39
39
Man at His Best
STYLE
Obsession of the Month the Hand-finished Dress Shoe
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ONCE THEY'RE ON YOUR FEET, you dont see your shoes much. Other people do. But can quality be judged from their vantage point? if you wear these hand-hewn wing tips, will anyone notice? They will notice. For this season. Milanese dsigners Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana set out to reinvent a classic, adding hand-stitched detailing to the brogued uppers and Dptying brush-and-wax techniques for a variegated antiqued patina-very Old World.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0033.xml
article
40
40,42
Man at His Best
STYLE
The Most Underrated Pant
Despite its salt-of-the-earth connotations, America's official trouser has its nuances
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Never give your khakis a cuff. Never roll the cuffs up to your calves like clamdiggers unless you are actually digging for clams. Cotton trousers ($98) by Bills Khakis. Khaki is Hindi for "dust." Pure, natural, unenhanced earth. With that in mind, remember: A crease down the front of a pair of khakis adds 15 years to the age of the wearer.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0034.xml
article
40
40
Man at His Best
MAINTENANCE
The Chapped Man
ESQUIRE'S GROOMING EXPERT ON THE DRY SEASON
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RODNEY CUTLER
Problem: Chapped face Solution: Hugo Boss Healthy Look face lotion ($25; boss-skin.com) It smells too much like caulk, but that dissipates. Otherwise, it's one of the best moisturizers I've tested-superlight and fast absorbing. Problem:
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0035.xml
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41
41
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Don Julio Tequila
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0036.xml
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43
43
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Lexus
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Lexus
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0037.xml
article
44
44
Man at His Best
STYLE
A Concise Guide to Patterns
Remember when your grandfather used to wear plaid on plaid? Don't do that.
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0038.xml
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44a
44a,44b
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Valentino
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VALENTINO
THE FRAGRANCE
VALENTINO
POUR HOMME
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0039.xml
article
45
45
Man at His Best
THE DIGITAL MAN
The Digital Man Awards
OUR GADGET GURU'S FAVORITE TECH TOYS OF 2006
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BARRY SONNENFELD
The Canon is a 1080i highdef camera that is as compact as any of the old Hi-8 cameras, but the images from this thing are sharp and contrasty and the colors are saturated and clean. It also shoots threemegapixel stills (stored on a separate SD card).
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0040.xml
article
46
46,48
Food
Man at His Best
The Five-Minute Guide to Oysters
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FRANCINE MAROUKIAN
<p>Despite its perfectly reasonable desire to protect its fleshy treasure, an oyster is nothing short of shuckable in the right hands. Just coax apart the shell and the oyster presents itself, damp and salty, resting in a pool of its own briny nectar (“liquor”) and smelling delicately of the water that bore it.</p>
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0041.xml
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47
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Hennessy
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hennessy
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0042.xml
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49
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By Invitation Only Esquire
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0043.xml
article
50
50
Man at His Best
THE BETTER MAN
Eat Your Genes
DNA TESTERS CLAIM THEY KNOW YOUR HIDDEN HEREDITARY FLAWS—AND HOW TO OVERCOME THEM
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SARA REISTAD-LONG
Here’s a way to feel bionic: Test your genome for deficiencies, then compensate by loading up on foods that, when converted to energy, can fill those exact gaps. A few easy adjustments and you’ll live to be older than Andy Rooney. Or at least less cantankerous.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0044.xml
article
50
50
Man at His Best
THE BETTER MAN
Ask Dr. Oz
FREE ADVICE FROM A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
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It could be your parents' fault. Taste buds are inherited, not developed, and about half the population gets them in one of two extremes: There are supertasters, who have a higher concentration of taste buds than the average person and therefore experience taste more profoundly.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0045.xml
article
50
50
Man at His Best
THE BETTER MAN
The Sanitary Man: the Handler
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A. J. JACOBS
GOD KNOWS who might have sneezed/coughed/drooled on my computer when I wasn't looking. Luckily, I was able to type this article without touching my keyboard. You see, there's this gadget called the Handler. You attach it to your key chain.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0046.xml
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51
51
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Cisco
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cisco
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0047.xml
article
52
52
Man at His Best
ANSWER FELLA
Will Cloned Humans Have Souls? Plus: Chip & Dead Elephants
ESQUIRE'S ANSWER FELLA believes that there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who don’t ask questions, fearing they'll look stupid. So ask Answer Fella anything. If he doesn’t know the answer, he'll find out who does or who has a guess that sounds right.
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Would a cloned human being have a soul? It wasn’t widely reported, but when Dolly the sheep—the first mammal cloned from an adult cell—died in 2003, she was listening to Barry White's 1974 smash album Can't Get Enough and pregnant by a Bolivian alpaca doing a long stretch at Edinburgh's Royal Zoo for running cocaine.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0048.xml
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53
53
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Honda
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HONDA
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0049.xml
article
54
54,56,57
America
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Life After Halftime
Moose Johnston, Islamic death squads, and the art of the second career
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Chuck Klosterman
<p>JAZZ-AGE DRUNKARD F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote many trenchant thoughts in the somber days before his 1940 death, but few remain more famous than this one: “There are no second acts in American lives.” It is the kind of sentence that defines an ethos.</p>
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0050.xml
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55
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Haggar
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haggar
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0051.xml
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57
57
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M&M's
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Mars, Incorporated
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0052.xml
article
58
58
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10 Things You Don't Know About Women
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Rachel Shelley
1. A woman never gets a Brazilian for her own benefit. Imagine shock therapy on your genitals and you come close to understanding the pain and humiliation. So next time, give her a big, fat reward. All night. 2. There is no such thing as women's intuition.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0053.xml
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59
59
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Vonage
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Vonage
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0054.xml
article
60
60,61
Influence
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The Need-to-Know Basis
Knowledge is power. Information is gold. Giving away either of them too soon is just plain stupid
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Tom Chiarella
<p>A SIGN HUNG IN A WINDOW seems simple enough. You pass them every day on your way to get coffee, FOR LEASE, FOR SALE, FOR RENT. Someone’s left, or failed, or simply moved on. Change peers out from a shop window, an article of faith, and for the most part, you don’t register it.</p>
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0055.xml
article
62
62,64,66,67
The Game
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Into the Void
When baseball season began last year, Chris Snow was a baseball writer with one of the most prestigious jobs in his business. Then he leaped into another world.
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Chris Jones
<p>IN HIS OLD LIFE, in the life Chris Snow chose to stop living, he would have spent last night chasing cars in southern California, trying to keep pace with Japanese gyroball pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka and the Boston Herald. Wiping sweat from his low forehead, he would have finally retreated to his hotel room (racking up fifteen hundred or so more Marriott points); begun banging out a story on Matsuzaka’s courtship by the Red Sox, an artful combination of facts, reasonable assumptions, and best guesses; stopped too many times to check for messages on his cell phone, hoping that general manager Theo Epstein might have returned his call and somehow he missed it; filed his finished piece, slated to occupy twenty-four inches of the sports front of this morning’s Boston Globe; and at last fallen into bed, tapped out but sleepless, wondering how right he really was.</p>
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0056.xml
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63
63
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Chrysler: Chrysler Sebring
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CHRYSLER
CHRYSLER SEBRING
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0057.xml
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65
65
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Steinhausen
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Steinhausen
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0058.xml
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67
67
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Ravazzolo
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Ravazzolo
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0059.xml
article
68
68,69,70,71,72,73,74,75
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Girl on Fire
Life is not quite as messy for Sienna Miller as it appears in the tabloids—or on this page—but it has its juicy little dramas. And distractions. And chaos. Just not in the way you’d expect.
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David Katz
Sieonna Miller is insisting shes the "biggest fucking klutz in the world,” and while the claim is endearing, you take it as just another case of a beautiul actress claiming some flaw to make her seem more real, like she was ugly between the third and fourth grades or maybe she has dreadful peripheral vision.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0060.xml
article
76
76,77
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And Now a Few Words About . . . Sex
How we're doing it. Where we're doing it. Whom we're doing it with. What you should never, ever do. And, most important, whether you'll be doing it tonight.
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0061.xml
article
78
78,79,80,81
The State of Sex
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How We Have Sex Now
The act is as old as mankind itself—but Internet porn and the sex swing are significantly newer. So Esquire teamed up with Marie Claire magazine to commission a candid, modern survey of America's sexual habits, desires, and taboos. Here, the salacious data . . .
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<p>The average number of dates before having sex is 3 for men and 5 for women. Men are more likely to have waited until marriage to have sex: 14% say they waited, while only 9% of women held out. What's the longest you've gone without it? Men’s average: 19 months</p>
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0062.xml
article
79
79
THE STATE OF SEX
THE MILF MEMO
How to Get Some on February 14th
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MARY-LOUISE PARKER
Recipe for Valentine’s Day: Take a piece of construction paper and a red crayon. Draw a heart on the paper, the more crooked the better, and inside write BE MINE with your left hand, or your right if you are left-handed. Fold the paper over, cut it into the shape of a heart, and write something profound to acknowledge how special she is.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0063.xml
article
80
80
THE STATE OF SEX
THE ENDORSEMENT
Clothes On
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TOM CHIARELLA
SOME PEOPLE like costumes when they have sex. The maid. The nurse. Role-playing. I never got that. Mingling the craft of acting with the sexual congress seems, well, unwise. But clothes? Yeah. Leave the little T-shirt on, push the panties to the side.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0064.xml
article
81
81
THE STATE OF SEX
PSYCHOSEXUAL THEORY OF THE MONTH
The Oedipus Complex
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SCOTT RAAB
This from a cokehead who smoked twenty stogies a day, who based his theory of infantile sexuality on his memory of being aroused as a small boy by the sight of his naked mother, who at the age of seven or eight purposely pissed in his parents’ boudoir.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0065.xml
article
81
81
THE STATE OF SEX
THE ENDORSEMENT
Clothes Off
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TOM CHIARELLA
ONE NIGHT you find yourself lying there with a woman’s head on your belly, her eyebrows mere inches from two fairly obvious pimples, not to mention the rogue hairs about your left nipple. Worse, her hand is pinned beneath the little sag in your ass.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0066.xml
article
82
82
THE STATE OF SEX
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Marie Claire
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We know it hasn’t been easy. First came Sex and the City, all heels and Cosmos and dirty talk and Rabbit Habits. Then came thong flashing—underwear as outerwear rising up like a dorsal fin from our denim-clad asses. Then came the stats: These days, a news cycle doesn’t go by without some headline crowing about women s newfound supremacy—that we’re more likely than you to earn graduate degrees, more likely to start a business, more likely to buy a home.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0067.xml
article
83
83
THE STATE OF SEX
THE ESQUIRE QUIZ
Are You Getting Laid Tonight?
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STACEY GRENROCK WOODS
1. Does she have to go home and getto bed early? (-5) 2. Does she have to go home to relieve the baby-sitter? (-10) 3. You meet her at a party and talk all night, but when you finally stand up, are you shorter than she expected? (-4) 4. Do you have a big ass?
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0068.xml
article
84
84,85
The State of Sex
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The Sexual Etiquette Guide
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STACEY GRENROCK WOODS
<p>What can I assume is in the standard sexual repertoire? A hundred years ago, you wouldn't be getting oral sex, right? Today it's standard. What else? It's premature to assume that sex was much different in past generations. The mechanics have never really varied, only certain particulars may have changed.</p>
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0069.xml
article
86
86,87
What I've Learned
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Dick Van Dyke
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CAL FUSSMAN
<p>I did pretty well because I knew how to tuck. Of course, there’s the tripping over the ottoman in the opening of the show. But I didn’t realize how many different kinds of falls I did in that show. At this banquet recently, they showed a little clip of all my falls.</p>
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0070.xml
article
88
88,89,90,91,92,93,94,95,122,123,124
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How the Attorney General of the United States Became Saddam Hussein’s Lawyer
The dictator’s time is up. Ramsey Clark, meanwhile, soldiers on.
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John H. Richardson
The plane comes in high and circles down, the way all planes do at the Baghdad airport these days. Two giant armor-plated GMC SUVs meet him, manned by American soldiers with M4 rifles and helmets with earphones. They drive fast past the checkpoints, the city invisible behind the high barriers that line the road.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0071.xml
article
96
96,97,98,99,100,101
FICTION
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The Napkin Project
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It’s an old story, we figured. Someone, in a bar somewhere, scribbling on a napkin in the failing afternoon light; the kind of story or list or note that might be crammed in a pocket and pulled out years later to tell something deep and forgotten—perhaps life’s most intimate first chapter, nearly lost forever.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0072.xml
article
102
102,103,104,105,106,107,108,109,110,111
STYLE
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"Give This Man An Oscar"
Whitaker. Affleck. Beach. Luke. Hounsou. If the Academy actually rewards fearless and brilliant acting (and style), these gentlemen should get their speeches ready.
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THIS IS A REINVENTION of Forest Whitaker. Here he is in his forties, doing something that is so completely different from anything that people have seen from him before. Forest has often been a gentle, internal actor in the past. In this, he had to be the opposite: explosive.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0073.xml
article
112
112,113,114,115,117,118,119,120,121
Dubious Achievements 2006
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Reality Strikes Back!
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<p>OCCASIONALLY IN THE HISTORY OF HUMAN ENDEAVOR, order is restored after a period of chas and fear. The year 2006 was not such a time. But almost! When the barb of reality struck, it struck hard: The corrupt were overthrown, the self-righteous exposed, the Federline dumped.</p>
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0074.xml
article
116
116,117
DOBIOUS ACHIEVEMENTS 2006
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Tuesdays with Reality
HE WAS MISSING FOR A FEW YEARS, BUT HE'S BACK. WE MET WITH REALITY RECENTLY AT HIS RENTED CONDOMINIUM NEAR DUPONT CIRCLE IN WASHINGTON, D.C., TO TALK ABOUT IT.
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STEPHEN SHERRILL
ESQ; So, how are you? Reality: Ah, you know, you get this age, you have your good days, you have your bad days. ESQ; What's today? Reaiity: Tuesday! ESQ; That's good. Reality: Gotcha! ESQ; You got me. Reality: Just kidding you. My wife used to hate jokes like that.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0075.xml
sidebar
118
118
DOBIOUS ACHIEVEMENTS 2006
THE VIGILANT MIC
Who Said It?
THE WORLD'S EARS ARE ALWAYS OPEN. MATCH THE NOTABLE FIGURE WITH THE NOTORIOUSLY OVERHEARD COMMENT
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1 [Referring to accusations that the president of Israel sexually molested several women on his staff.] “Say hello to your president.... He turned out to be quite a powerful man. He raped ten women. I never expected it from him. He surprised all of us.
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0076.xml
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123
123
[no value]
[no value]
Rosetta Stone
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Rosetta Stone
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0077.xml
article
124
124,125
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Credits
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Store Information For the items featured in Esquire, consult the Web site or call the phone number provided. The Guide, p. 39: Dolce & Gabbana wing tips, www.dolcegabbana.it. P. 40: Bills Khakis trousers, billskhakis.com. Gilded Age trousers, bluebeemen.com.
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125
125
[no value]
[no value]
Paul Fredrick
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PAUL FREDRICK
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0079.xml
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126
126
[no value]
[no value]
Men's Marketplace
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0080.xml
article
127
127
This Way Out
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The Dubious Achievements of An Average Man
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I CUT MY UPPER LIP while shaving with a Mach3 razor. I RENTED the film Paint Your Wagon thinking it would be cool because Clint Eastwood was in the cast, when it’s actually a lame Clint Eastwood musical comedy. AFTER A CABDRIVER dropped me off at the airport and said, “Have a nice flight,” I responded, “You, too.”
Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0081.xml
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128
128,129
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Ford: Boldmoves
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ford
BOLDMOVES
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0082.xml
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130
130
[no value]
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Rolex
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ROLEX
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Esquire_20070201_0147_002_0083.xml