Issue: 20041101

Monday, November 1, 2004
November
5
True
142
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
5/10/2018 12:19:42 PM

Articles
cover
0_1
0_1
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0001.xml
advertisement
0_2
0_2,1
[no value]
[no value]
Armani Casa
[no value]
ARMANI CASA
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0002.xml
advertisement
2
2,3
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0003.xml
advertisement
4
4,5
[no value]
[no value]
Jack Victor Collection
[no value]
JACK VICTOR COLLECTION
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0004.xml
advertisement
6
6
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0005.xml
advertisement
7
7
[no value]
[no value]
Davidoff
[no value]
davidoff
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0006.xml
advertisement
8
8,9
[no value]
[no value]
Mercedes-benz Usa, Llc
[no value]
Mercedes-Benz USA, LLC
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0007.xml
advertisement
10
10
[no value]
[no value]
Zappos
[no value]
Zappos
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0008.xml
advertisement
11
11
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0009.xml
advertisement
12
12,13
[no value]
[no value]
Van Heusen
[no value]
VAN HEUSEN
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0010.xml
advertisement
14
14
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0011.xml
advertisement
15
15
[no value]
[no value]
Mirage
[no value]
Mirage
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0012.xml
advertisement
16
16
[no value]
[no value]
Movado
[no value]
MOVADO
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0013.xml
tableOfContents
17
17,20
[no value]
[no value]
Contents
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0014.xml
advertisement
18
18,19
[no value]
[no value]
American Honda Motor Co., Inc.
[no value]
American Honda Motor Co., Inc.
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0015.xml
advertisement
21
21
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0016.xml
advertisement
22
22
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0017.xml
advertisement
23
23
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0018.xml
advertisement
24
24
[no value]
[no value]
Moreschi
[no value]
MORESCHI
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0019.xml
masthead
24
24,28
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0020.xml
advertisement
25
25
[no value]
[no value]
Claiborne
[no value]
claiborne
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0021.xml
advertisement
26
26,27
[no value]
[no value]
Mercury
[no value]
MERCURY
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0022.xml
advertisement
28
28
[no value]
[no value]
Luciano Moresco & Co. Ltd
[no value]
LUCIANO MORESCO & CO. LTD
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0023.xml
advertisement
29
29
[no value]
[no value]
Geox
[no value]
GEOX
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0024.xml
article
30
30,32
[no value]
[no value]
The Sound and the Fury
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
THE FASHION TRIUMVIRATE of Andre 3000, Paul Bettany, and Javier Bardem ruled the cover of September’s Style issue. Inside, Scott “Hoo Boy” Raab survived three rounds with a female boxing powerhouse (“Last Tango in Cleveland”), Christopher McDougall dropped into the Idaho wilderness for a hardcore tutorial in backcountry living (“The Hard Way”), and three conservatives examined their (mostly) conflicted feelings about the president (“Wrestling with Bush”).
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0025.xml
advertisement
31
31
[no value]
[no value]
Rolex
[no value]
ROLEX
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0026.xml
advertisement
33
33,34
[no value]
[no value]
Polo
[no value]
POLO
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0027.xml
advertisement
35
35
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0028.xml
advertisement
35A
35A,35B
[no value]
[no value]
Chrysler
[no value]
CHRYSLER
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0029.xml
article
36
36
[no value]
[no value]
Contributors
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
What better way to capture the spirit of an elegant party than to, well, throw an elegant party? So in a nod to celebrated journalist and socialite George Plimpton's famous literary gatherings of the sixties, photographer CHRISTIAN WITKIN presided over a gathering of writers, artists, and intellectuals at the National Arts Club (“Big Night,” page 160).
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0030.xml
advertisement
37
37
[no value]
[no value]
Tiffany & Co.
[no value]
TIFFANY & CO.
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0031.xml
article
38
38
Editor’s Letter
[no value]
Cheney’s Brain
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
ON PAGE 150, you’ll find Walter Russell Mead’s story about Vice-President Dick Cheney. As we travel the final couple of weeks toward the election, it’s Cheney who deserves special consideration. Yes, the election is primarily about the two heads of the tickets.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0032.xml
advertisement
39
39
[no value]
[no value]
Samsung Electronics America, Inc.
[no value]
Samsung Electronics America, Inc.
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0033.xml
advertisement
40
40
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0034.xml
advertisement
41
41
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement: Roberto Cavalli Man
[no value]
[no value]
roberto cavalli man
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0035.xml
advertisement
42
42,43
[no value]
[no value]
Gm Corp.: G6
[no value]
GM Corp.
G6
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0036.xml
advertisement
44
44
[no value]
[no value]
Louis Vuitton
[no value]
LOUIS VUITTON
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0037.xml
article
45
45
Man at His Best
[no value]
Funny* Joke From Beautiful Woman
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
PENNY WRENN
Jorge and Ernesto are talking one afternoon when Jorge tells Ernesto, “I believe I'm ready for a holiday. Only this year I’ll do it differently. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago, you said to go to Paris. I went to Paris and Carolina got pregnant.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0038.xml
article
46
46
Man at His Best
The Awards
The Seven Most Remarkable Things in Culture This Month
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
1 Loveliest Beach —From The Pirelli Calendar: The Complete Works 40 Years, a new collection of classic pinups 2 Ballsiest Boast “I sneeze and hits come out.” —Dandy Warhols frontman Courtney Taylor in Dig!, a compulsively watchable film about the early days of his band and the Brian Jonestown Massacre
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0039.xml
advertisement
47
47
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement: the Glenlivet
[no value]
[no value]
THE GLENLIVET
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0040.xml
article
48
48
Man at His Best
Books
Sex Ed
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
DOUG CANTOR
WITH THE FCC cracking down on racy language and several states banning the sale of sex toys, it seems no breast or dildo will ever be safe again. So before team Ashcroft takes away our dirty books, we decided to sample a few new titles—for educational purposes, of course.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0041.xml
article
48
48
Man at His Best
Books
Big Important Book of the Month
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
TOM CHIARELLA
WHAT’S INTERESTING about reading a John Updike book is that every word, every scene, every vaguely misogynistic simile used to describe the unending daisy chain of oddly singular suburban fuck buddies, every pastoral snatch of, well, pastoral snatch, when told through the angry orange sunset of Updike’s unflagging prose, reminds you of only what you are doing at that very moment.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0042.xml
article
48
48
[no value]
[no value]
The Rules
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
RULE NO. 241: One out of every four spiritual healers used to be a dental assistant. RULE NO. 642: No one ever got laid by wearing a sperm costume on Halloween. RULE NO. 672: It is never a good idea to compare the trajectory of your life with those of the characters in Billy Joel’s “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant."
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0043.xml
advertisement
49
49
[no value]
[no value]
Bose Corporation
[no value]
Bose Corporation
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0044.xml
article
50
50,52
Man at His Best
Movies
The Best Movie We’ve Seen Since Tomorrow
The time-bending thriller Primer is the coolest sci-fi flick since The Matrix. Maybe since 2001.
[no value]
[no value]
MIKE D'ANGELO
<p>SCIENCE-FICTION MOVIES set in the present day have a kind of stubborn purity about them. At its core, sci-fi traffics in ideas, implications, ramifications; place these in the context of an imaginary future, with its myriad technological advances, and the average filmmaker—or sometimes even a giant like Spielberg (see Minority Report)—can easily develop gizmo fever, spending more time huddled with the production designer than with the screenwriter.</p>
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0045.xml
advertisement
51
51
[no value]
[no value]
Cartier
[no value]
Cartier
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0046.xml
article
52
52
Man at His Best
MOVIES
Q+a: Trey Parker & Matt Stone
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
DOUG CANTOR
TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE has everything you could ask for in a big-budget action flick: exotic locations, thrilling chase scenes, and hundreds of puppets. And not just any puppets—Kim Jong IL, Michael Moore, and Hans Blix puppets. Esquire caught up with the guys pulling the strings of the all-marionette cast, South Park creators Trey Parker (left) and Matt Stone.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0047.xml
advertisement
53
53
[no value]
[no value]
Volkswagen
[no value]
Volkswagen
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0048.xml
advertisement
54
54,55
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0049.xml
article
56
56
Man at His Best
Music
Rule Breakers
Reconsidering the merits of cameos, rock operas, and kiddie bop
[no value]
[no value]
ANDY LANGER
MUSIC AIN’T MATH, but it’s also not as subjective as it’s cracked up to be. There is, in fact, plenty to be certain of these days. Australian rock bands will always sound like AC/DC. Beyoncé will repeat her choruses more than 50 times. And unless you’re Warren Zevon, farewell al bums rarely mean goodbye.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0050.xml
sidebar
56
56
[no value]
[no value]
Music Lessons with John Mayer
THIS MONTH’S LESSON: The Pen, the Sword, and the Song
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
EVERY DECADE has its struggle, and every struggle has its songs. A song allows some people the opportunity to remember their lives and gives those who weren’t born yet a good rough idea. If you’re like me and weren’t lucid in the '60s, you probably reference the Forrest Gump soundtrack to get some idea of the emotional climate.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0051.xml
advertisement
57
57
[no value]
[no value]
Tivo Inc.
[no value]
TiVo Inc.
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0052.xml
article
58
58
Man at His Best
Culture
What I’ve Learned... From the Encyclopedia
I haven’t climbed Mount Everest. Never ran a marathon. Until recently, my only impressive accomplishment was my collection of airsickness bags from every major airline. So I decided to try something big: read the Encyclopaedia Britannica. All of it. From a-ak to zyuuiec. I did, and lived to write a book about it. Here’s what I gleaned.
[no value]
[no value]
A. J. Jacobs
Opossums have 13 nipples. Eskimos swap wives. Nothing is new. Nothing. Consider canned laughter: Back in the 1800s, French theater owners hired people to laugh at comedies. And they went even further: They also hired people to cry during dramas.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0053.xml
advertisement
59
59
[no value]
[no value]
Patek Philippe
[no value]
Patek Philippe
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0054.xml
article
60
60
Man at His Best
Style
The Great American Sack Suit Is Under Siege
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Bill Hancock
“YOU AMERICANS and your huge armholes,” said my Neapolitan tailor’s son Marco with venom, spearing his pesce spada with a fork. “In your jackets,” he went on. Stab stab. “Why do you people like big huge armholes and flippy-floppy bodies? No one else has them.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0055.xml
article
60
60
[no value]
[no value]
The (style) Rules
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
RULE NO. 315: Never trust a man in leather trousers without a motorcycle. RULE NO. 372: A white suit is a fine long-term investment. It’ll serve you well in the sanatorium. RULE NO. 415: When trying on new shoes, if they pinch your feet, try this:
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0056.xml
advertisement
61
61
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0057.xml
advertisement
62
62,63
[no value]
[no value]
Daimlerchrysler Corporation
[no value]
DaimlerChrysler Corporation
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0058.xml
article
64
64
[no value]
The Digital Man
Night Quest
Our frightened director goes a-bear-hunting. Sort of.
[no value]
[no value]
BARRY SONNENFELD
THIS MONTH, Sweetie and I are still at our Telluride, Colorado, home. Dreading our return to the manicured Hamptons, I figured I’d try out a manly activity—finding the bear that is tipping over our garbage dumpster. Esquire sent me a pair of incredibly small, sharp, and expensive [1] Nikon Titanium 7x15 binoculars ($775; nikonusa.com).
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0059.xml
sidebar
64
64
[no value]
[no value]
What’s in Your Netflix Queue?
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Brett Ratner
1] Heaven Can Wait: A nearly perfect film, starring and directed by Warren Beatty and Buck Henry. 2] Marathon Man: I love movies with Nazis, especially when they die. 3] The Killing of a Chinese Bookie: You feel for Ben Gazzara’s character.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0060.xml
advertisement
65
65,65A
[no value]
[no value]
Burberry Brit
[no value]
BURBERRY BRIT
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0061.xml
advertisement
65B
65B
[no value]
[no value]
Dillard's
[no value]
Dillard's
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0062.xml
article
66
66
Man at His Best
POLITICS
What's Your Bush Iq?
MAYBE YOU’VE HEARD A BIT ABOUT HIS STANCE ON TERROR. BUT DO YOU KNOW HIS FAVORITE ICE CREAM? TENNIS CHAMP? BEARDED MUSICIAN?
[no value]
[no value]
Peter Martin
1. As president of the Yale chapter of Delta Kappa Epsilon, Bush described what hazing practice as insignificant? A. Streaking B. Branding pledges with a hot coat hanger C. Excessive drinking D. Photographing freshmen in a naked pile 2. Which president flew George W. to the White House for a date with his daughter?
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0063.xml
advertisement
67
67
[no value]
[no value]
Longines
[no value]
LONGINES
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0064.xml
article
68
68
Man at His Best
POLITICS
What's Your Kerry Iq?
PERHAPS YOU’VE HEARD HE WON SOME PURPLE HEARTS. BUT WHAT ABOUT HIS FAVORITE SANDWICH? PREP-SCHOOL BAND? HALLOWEEN COSTUME?
[no value]
[no value]
Penny Wrenn
1. Before he married Teresa Heinz, John Kerry dated which of the following popular '80s actresses? A. Molly Ringwald B. Morgan Fairchild C. Kathleen Turner D. Whoopi Goldberg 2. Which of these is one of Kerry’s favorite movies of the past three years?
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0065.xml
advertisement
69
69
[no value]
[no value]
Nokia, Inc.: Nokia 6230
[no value]
Nokia, Inc.
NOKIA 6230
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0066.xml
article
70
70
Man at His Best
[no value]
The Hurried Man’s Guide to the Issues
UNLESS YOUR NAME IS BUSH OR KERRY, YOU PROBABLY DON’T HAVE TIME FOR ALL THE SCRIPTED SPEECHES, BAD COMMERCIALS, AND FUMBLING CANDIDATES. BUT TAKE 64 SECONDS TO SAVE DEMOCRACY.
[no value]
[no value]
TYLER CABOT
ISSUE STEM-CELL RESEARCH BUDGET DEFICIT SEX ED ABORTION HEALTH CARE TAX CUTS FAITH-BASED INITIATIVES MISSILE DEFENSE THE USA PATRIOT ACT GAYS IN THE MILITARY FLAG BURNERS NATIONAL-SECURITY STRATEGY TROOPS EDUCATION PRIVATIZING SOCIAL SECURITY
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0067.xml
advertisement
71
71
[no value]
[no value]
Tourneau: Raymond Weil Geneve
[no value]
TOURNEAU
RAYMOND WEIL GENEVE
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0068.xml
article
72
72
Man at His Best
POLITICS
Draft Dodging, Insanity, Flop-flipping & Kung Pao Shrimp
AS A PUBLIC SERVICE PRECEDING THE LATEST MOST IMPORTANT ELECTION OF OUR LIFETIME, ANSWER FELLA DECRYPTS THE STEREOTYPES SURROUNDING THE TWO JERKS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Is George W. Bush dumb? Sure. That's how come he’s the most powerful man on the planet, while AF, who aced Dr. Olsen’s Dante seminar and flat-out torched the GREs, can’t decide between the Kung Pao Shrimp and General Tso's Chicken. Context is everything.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0069.xml
advertisement
73
73
[no value]
[no value]
White Rock Distilleries, Inc.: Three Olives Vodka
[no value]
White Rock Distilleries, Inc.
Three Olives VODKA
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0070.xml
advertisement
74
74
[no value]
[no value]
Gucci
[no value]
GUCCI
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0071.xml
article
75
75
THE ESQUIRE CATALOG
[no value]
Buying Time
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
PANERAI LUMINOR MARINA: When this Italian-navy-issue diver’s watch— officially a state secret until 1993— complete with patented lever protection for the crown, was reincarnated in the late nineties with a hefty fortyfour-millimeter diameter, it clicked instantly with the professional man’s look-at-me gene.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0072.xml
article
76
76,78,82
THE ESQUIRE CATALOG
[no value]
When Investing in a Fine Match, the Value Is in the Details
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
THE TRANSPARENT BACK OF THE A. LANGE & SÖHNE CHRONO: Some watchmakers are so proud of the movements that drive their watches, they'll go all out to expose the inner workings. This is always true of A. Lange & Söhne, the only German watchmaker to stand on a level playing field with the Swiss.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0073.xml
advertisement
77
77
[no value]
[no value]
Tommy Bahama
[no value]
Tommy Bahama
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0074.xml
advertisement
79
79
[no value]
[no value]
Oral-b
[no value]
Oral-B
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0075.xml
advertisement
80
80,81
[no value]
[no value]
Swiss Army
[no value]
SWISS ARMY
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0076.xml
advertisement
83
83
[no value]
[no value]
Perry Ellis
[no value]
PERRY ELLIS
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0077.xml
article
84
84
[no value]
[no value]
Ten Things You Don’t Know About Women
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Allison Janney
1. I don’t care if you’re Edgar Bronfman Jr. or Edgar the clerk at the grocery store; spring for a decent pair of shoes. 2. Even if cupping your hand in front of your mouth yields no results, you may still have bad breath. It’s okay; we all do sometimes.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0078.xml
advertisement
85
85
[no value]
[no value]
Casella Wines Pty Ltd.
[no value]
Casella Wines Pty Ltd.
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0079.xml
article
86
86,88
America
[no value]
Guil·ty Plea·sures
The curious etymology of a phrase gone wrong
[no value]
[no value]
Chuck Klosterman
<p>EVERY SO OFTEN, I look at the condition of the world and suspect that our most widespread problem is the ever-growing sentiment of anti-intellectualism that seems to permeate everything, particularly politics (where intelligent candidates are attacked for being intelligent) and advertising (where everything is designed to convince smart people they’ll be happier once they agree to become dumb).</p>
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0080.xml
advertisement
87
87
[no value]
[no value]
R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Co.
[no value]
R.J. REYNOLDS TOBACCO CO.
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0081.xml
sidebar
88
88
[no value]
[no value]
And Now, Some Pleasure-free Guilt
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
C. K.
I feel uniquely qualified to review Clay Aiken’s forthcoming autobiography, Learning to Sing: Hearing the Music in Your Life. This is because I know absolutely nothing about Clay. I’ve never watched American Idol, I can’t name one of his songs, I don’t read Us Weekly, and I probably wouldn’t recognize him if he were living in my basement.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0082.xml
advertisement
89
89
[no value]
[no value]
Iriver
[no value]
iriver
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0083.xml
article
90
90
[no value]
[no value]
Sex
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
STACEY GRENROCK WOODS
Now, now, they're not laughing at you; they’re laughing about you. I have to admit, the thought of you roaming the desert for another forty years in search of the answer to this, the lamest of questions, fills me with a delicious sense of power.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0084.xml
advertisement
91
91
[no value]
[no value]
Ritmo Mvndo
[no value]
RITMO MVNDO
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0085.xml
article
92
92,93,94,98,99A
Real Adventures for REGULAR GUYS
[no value]
The Restless Man
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
BUCKY MCMAHON
<p>From the moment I tear open the shipping carton and heft the wickedly curved bright-yellow axes, I have the feeling I’m going to love ice climbing. Shaped like big number 3’s, the hyperdesigned metal shafts fit my hands like prostheses. They’re heavier than I expected but imbued with such grabby leverage that I can barely restrain myself that night from burying them in the motel room’s Sheetrock walls and attempting the ceiling.</p>
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0086.xml
advertisement
95
95,96
[no value]
[no value]
Mini
[no value]
MINI
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0087.xml
advertisement
97
97
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0088.xml
advertisement
98
98
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0089.xml
advertisement
99
99
[no value]
[no value]
Vertu
[no value]
VERTU
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0090.xml
advertisement
99A
99A
[no value]
[no value]
Lwr Time Ltd.
[no value]
LWR Time Ltd.
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0091.xml
advertisement
99B
99B
[no value]
[no value]
Bose Corporation
[no value]
Bose Corporation
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0092.xml
article
100
100
LifeWave Energy Patches
Performance Enhancer of the Month
Lifewave Energy Patches
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
SUSAN CASEY
Recently, I was intrigued by an article about a new energy patch being worn by swimmers at the U. S. Olympic trials. No one had thought to run the patches by the U. S. Anti-Doping Agency beforehand, and there was subsequent concern about what kind of smack might be in them.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0093.xml
article
100
100
LifeWave Energy Patches
[no value]
Cardio Audio
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
SCOTT FRAMPTON
THE NUMBER-ONE reason people stop going to the gym? Boredom. Here, nine ways to keep that from happening to you. Tracks available wherever music is downloaded. 1. PAUL WELLER, “THINKING OF YOU” Heartwarming soul from the Jam icon. 2. AL GREEN, “I’M A RAM” Confidence.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0094.xml
article
100
100
LifeWave Energy Patches
[no value]
A 30-second Sermon
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
GEORGE FOREMAN
WHEN I WAS GROWING UP, the voting age was twenty-one. But I wasn't thinking about registering to vote on my twenty-first birthday, and I’ll tell you why. After I won the gold medal in the '68 Olympics, I went to Las Vegas. You had to be twenty-one to get into the casinos back then, but because of my size, I’d been getting into places underage for years.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0095.xml
advertisement
101
101
[no value]
[no value]
Fye
[no value]
fye
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0096.xml
article
102
102,104
The Portfolio
[no value]
The One $2 Stock Every American Should Own
Internet companies are back. And five years later, the worst call I ever made is now one of the best investments you can make.
[no value]
[no value]
KEN KURSON
I FUCKED UP. A few years ago, I wrote a story in these pages called “The One Stock Every American Should Own.” I explained why the stock (and the company) had only green pastures ahead. And because I put my money where my mouth is, I lost some dough on what turned out to be an embarrassingly bad call.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0097.xml
advertisement
103
103
[no value]
[no value]
Dkny
[no value]
DKNY
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0098.xml
article
104
104
THE PORTFOLIO
[no value]
How to Play the November Bounce
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
PENNY MILLER
You’ve probably heard of the January effect—the stock market rally that typically hits in the neuu year. (A quick refreshen Investors dump their portfolio’s losers in late December to slash their tax bills; then buyers swoop in to grab suddenly undervalued stocks that still have life.)
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0099.xml
advertisement
105
105
[no value]
[no value]
Chrome Azzaro
[no value]
CHROME AZZARO
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0100.xml
article
106
106,108,110,112,114,116,118,121,122
[no value]
[no value]
Best New Restaurants 2004
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
JOHN MARIANI
<p>And 356 meals later, I can happily report to you that 2004 was the best year to dine out in America. Ever. People are filling up restaurants again, prices have not risen (except in Vegas), Japanese restaurants are getting more exciting, Italian restaurants are getting more authentic, and charcuterie and great cheeses are being served everywhere.</p>
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0101.xml
advertisement
107
107
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0102.xml
advertisement
109
109
[no value]
[no value]
Dodge
[no value]
DODGE
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0103.xml
advertisement
111
111
[no value]
[no value]
Barton Beers, Ltd.
[no value]
BARTON BEERS, LTD.
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0104.xml
advertisement
113
113
[no value]
[no value]
Mgm Home Entertainment Llc.
[no value]
MGM Home Entertainment LLC.
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0105.xml
advertisement
115
115,115A
[no value]
[no value]
William Grant & Sons
[no value]
WILLIAM GRANT & SONS
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0106.xml
advertisement
115B
115B
[no value]
[no value]
Bill Blass
[no value]
BILL BLASS
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0107.xml
sidebar
116
116
[no value]
[no value]
The Coolest Men’s Rooms in America
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
JAMES OLIVER CURY
1. Dusk, New York Sneak a peek at what, or who, your date is doing by peering Out at the bar from behind the oneway-mirrored glass instatted over the urinats. (147 West Twentyfourth Street; 212-924-4490) Madonna Inn, San Luis Obispo, California You can get in touch with your inner caveman in the restroom at this notoriously gaudy inn and restaurant, which features giant rock waterfall urinals.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0108.xml
advertisement
117
117
[no value]
[no value]
Courtroom Television Network Llc.
[no value]
Courtroom Television Network LLC.
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0109.xml
advertisement
119
119
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0110.xml
advertisement
120
120
[no value]
[no value]
Bell & Ross Inc.
[no value]
Bell & Ross Inc.
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0111.xml
sidebar
121
121
[no value]
[no value]
Hostess of the Year
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
ROY KITE
NAME: Seanna Harrington, hostess and manager RESTAURANT: Ibiza, Houston DATE OF BIRTH: March 31,1973 HOMETOWN: Houston, but spent childhood sailing the Gulf with parents. SHIFT: Lunches, weekend nights. ATTIRE: The owners encourage me to dress wildly.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0112.xml
advertisement
121
121
[no value]
[no value]
Zappos
[no value]
Zappos
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0113.xml
advertisement
122
122
[no value]
[no value]
U.s. Smokeless Tobacco Co.
[no value]
U.S. Smokeless TOBACCO CO.
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0114.xml
advertisement
123
123
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement: Esquire
[no value]
[no value]
ESQUIRE
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0115.xml
article
124
124,125,126,127,128,129
Women We Love
[no value]
Angelina Jolie
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Mike Sager
<p>She materializes in the dark lobby bar at the Hotel Bel-Air, a wisp of smoke, late but somehow unexpected. She looks at me attentively with large blue eyes. Her hair is long and chestnut colored, framing her porcelain face, her lips preternatural.</p>
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0116.xml
advertisement
130
130,131,132
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement: Tequila
[no value]
[no value]
TEQUILA
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0117.xml
advertisement
133
133,134
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0118.xml
article
135
135,136,137,138,139
Women We Love
[no value]
The Women You Love Survey
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
1 Sexiest pop star Britney Spears 27% Beyoncé22% Gwen Stefani 18% Christina Aguilera 10% Norah Jones 7% 2 Hottest product mascot St. Pauli Girl 50% Swiss Miss 21% Aunt Jemima 11% Wendy 10% Mrs. Butterworth 5% 3 Historical figure you’d most like to sleep with Cleopatra 43% Helen of Troy 37% Marie Antoinette 6% Mary Magdalene 6% Susan B. Anthony 1%
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0119.xml
article
140
140,141
Women We Love
[no value]
Serena Williams
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
TOM CHIARELLA
Yeah, yeah. We know all about the ’ovas. The heirs to Kournikova. Sharapova and Hantuchova and all the lesser ’ovas, including that one ’eva. Yes, we appreciate the way they look in their clingy, scoop-cut dresses and their legs that go all the way to the ground and with their Marcia Brady hair all willowy.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0120.xml
article
142
142,143
Women We Love
[no value]
Carolyn Murphy
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
TOM CHIARELLA
You gotta love imperfection. The stray mole, the big hands, the huge forehead. Spice of life and all that. But among supermodels, physical idiosyncrasy has become a sort of gold standard. Throw a rock and you’ll hit a model who’s a little horsey, though still lithe.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0121.xml
article
144
144,145
Women We Love
[no value]
Mandy Moore
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
TOM CHIARELLA
When the name Mandy Moore came up for a Woman We Love slot, the reaction from the office illuminati was a predictably seismic pop-culture backlash. As banal and unexamined as their position turned out to be, let’s go through and answer their four most common questions, now that she’s made it to our pages.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0122.xml
article
146
146,147,148,149,188
[no value]
[no value]
"Pick Me Up at 7," She Said
An innocent evening at the ballpark with conservative heartthrob Ann Coulter turns into a night of right-wing passion
[no value]
[no value]
Scott Raab
<p>LATE SUMMER, NEW YORK CITY, and I’m out on the town with Ann Coulter, ultraright queen of spleen, the bosomy scourge of liberals everywhere, and the one person in America who feels that maybe the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth went a bit easy on John Kerry.</p>
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0123.xml
article
150
150,151,152,153,154,155,156,158,188,190,192
[no value]
[no value]
The Revolutionary
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
WALTER RUSSELL MEAD
<p>He has many faces, all gray. He is a symphony in gray. He ranges the spectrum from vanilla to colorless to dull. Even the pink of his lip and the blue of his eyes are gray. As the Trojan horse for a contemporary American revolution, he is magnificent, as radical behavior would be the last thing suspected of someone who comports himself as he does.</p>
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0124.xml
advertisement
157
157
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0125.xml
advertisement
159
159
[no value]
[no value]
Subaru
[no value]
SUBARU
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0126.xml
article
160
160,161,162,163,164,165,166,167,168,169
ESQUIRE STYLE
[no value]
Big Night
A Little gathering at the National Arts Club one night this fall proved that there are as many ways to wear the new black tie as there are creative types in Manhattan
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0127.xml
article
170
170,171
What I've Learned
[no value]
Oliver Stone
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
MIKE SAGER
<p>I’m not a great man. I’m a fuckin’ man like you, struggling through the goddamn day. I believe in this country. But I don’t think it belongs to a certain bunch of screwballs who think we ought to dominate the world. Ali G is the greatest comedian since Groucho Marx.</p>
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0128.xml
article
172
172,173,174,175,176,177
[no value]
[no value]
How to Buy Art for $2,500 or Less
A useful Esquire service story in which our reporter makes an ass of himself to spare you a similar experience
[no value]
[no value]
David Katz
<p>So iS this Stuff, like, for sale? This stuff being art, the good shit—a dozen drawings by Edward Ruscha and a giant Andy Warhol Rorschach that is either a mating grasshopper or an angry vagina. ¶ I'm admiring these pieces in the silent whiteness of New York’s venerable Gagosian Gallery, hidden on two floors of a fancy Upper East Side building.</p>
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0129.xml
article
178
178,179,180,181,182,183,184,186,188
[no value]
[no value]
The Cult of the Striper
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
C. J. Chivers
<p>A HEADLAMP SWITCHES ON IN THE DARKness of a September night, illuminating a pale fish twisting on sand in a narrow cone of light. The fish is perhaps a yard long. Dark stripes run along its length. Its yellow eyes are bright. Odor rises through the salty mist, reminiscent of cucumber or melon rind.</p>
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0130.xml
advertisement
184
184
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0131.xml
advertisement
185
185
[no value]
[no value]
The E. Howard & Company
[no value]
The E. Howard & Company
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0132.xml
advertisement
186
186,187
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire Men's Marketplace
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0133.xml
advertisement
188
188
[no value]
[no value]
Paul Fredrick
[no value]
PAUL FREDRICK
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0134.xml
advertisement
189
189
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0135.xml
advertisement
189
189
[no value]
[no value]
Until
[no value]
until
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0136.xml
advertisement
191
191
[no value]
[no value]
A&e
[no value]
A&E
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0137.xml
article
193
193
[no value]
[no value]
Credits
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Store Information For availability of the items featured in Esquire, call the phone number or consult the Web site provided. Buying Time, p. 75: Panerai watch, 877-7263724. Rolex watch, 800-367-6539. Casio watch, www.casio.com. Patek Philippe watch, 212-2181240. P. 76:
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0138.xml
advertisement
193
193
[no value]
[no value]
Windmill Health Products: Hi-ener-g
[no value]
WINDMILL HEALTH PRODUCTS
HI-ENER-G
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0139.xml
article
194
194
THIS WAY OUT
[no value]
The Penthouse Forum Ombudsman
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
MATT HABER
First, a correction: A letter from Kevin L. of Durango, Colorado, alerted us to a factual error in a letter from our May 2004 issue. In “Riding the Rangers,” the writer, Marty G., recounted his erotic adventure with two bosomy park rangers during an astronomy expedition at Cuyahoga Valley National Park in Ohio.
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0140.xml
advertisement
195
195
[no value]
[no value]
Mazda North American Operations
[no value]
Mazda North American Operations
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0141.xml
advertisement
196
196
[no value]
[no value]
R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Co.: Camel
[no value]
R.J. REYNOLDS TOBACCO CO.
CAMEL
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20041101_0142_005_0142.xml