After receiving the March issue, I felt the equivalent of the sensation a man must feel when his Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue arrives. Thanks for showing what I have intrinsically known all my life: There is nothing sexier than a well-dressed man who has the confidence to carry it.
This month marks ten years since the terrible riots in South Central Los Angeles of April 29 through May 4,1992. in order to draw a portrait of the neighborhood today, contributing editor DANIEL VOLL set out to tell the story of a child whose life has been South Central since the riots.
Frankly, this isn't the first time we've spent an evening waiting for a woman to call. But if there's anyone who'll keep us pinned to our desks with full bladders and empty stomachs, it's this woman. And when she does call—three hours late—explaining that she would have called sooner had she not almost poked her eye out, all is forgiven.
"Nobody can remember when the sperm became large enough to see, but we agree on this: once that point was reached, every generation topped the last. They went from guppy to goldfish, and before long they could frighten a Schnauzer, and not much later Great Danes made way for them."
where does furniture design come from? Well, someone in_(Italy, Sweden) thinks of a way to revolutionize howwe____ _(sit, eat, sleep, store things) and, with the help of a hypervoweled design firm (see below), makes a prototype.
IN JULY 2000, ESQUIRE PUBLISHED "The Perfect Fire," Sean Flynn's account of the Worcester, Massachusetts, warehouse fire that claimed the lives of six firemen in December 1999, a story that went on to win a National Magazine Award for reporting.
If you could somehow gather all the greatest American writers of the 20th century in a single room, you'd have yourself quite a rowdy mob. A sozzled Fitzgerald would paw Flannery O'Connor. Flemingwayand Mailer would bump chests in a manly man showdown.
THE INDEFENSIBLE POSITION: Arena Football Is Better Than the NFL
SO THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED to the old quarterback. His team was winning by five points, and it had the ball on the five-yard line. There was time for just one play. The old quarterback's quarterback rolled out, was unable to find a receiver, and, just as he had been taught since he was a tiny quarterback, threw the ball out of the end zone to kill the clock and win the game.
CLICHÉD MEN'S MAGAZINE PIECE OF THE MONTH: HOWtO Get Better Abs!
You want to be a happier, more fulfilled, better person? This won't help. But it will give you an attractive stomach. Thanks to Matt Roberts, renowned trainer to the stars, we've found the ultimate abs workout: the "static bridge," an exercise you can do at home that works both upper and lower abdominals in just minutes.
With the war on terrorism expected to cost upwards of $100 billion, someone's got to foot the bill. Instead of an across-the-board tax hike, Esquire proposes something far more practical: taxing idiots. And the beauty of it is, they won't even realize it.
Rule No. 136: When introducing yourself, you will not amuse anyone by adding, "And I'm an alcoholic," Rule No. 173: There is nothing more fun than watching young couples in movies visit instant-photo booths Rule No. 181: The two most terrifying words in the English language: humorous essay.
a megaconglomerate. Maybe you don't make inflammatory remarks about major religions. No matter. You can still eat like Ted Turner. The high-decibel businessman–who has been ranting about the benefits of lower-fat bison meat for years now-has finally opened his first buffalo restaurant, Ted's Montana Grill, in Columbus, Ohio, with plans for more on the way.
Leftovers are good, except, perhaps, the ones that lead to dishes that end in the word surprise. But where wine is concerned, Americans don't really do leftovers. It's time that changed. While it's true that most wines won't last two days on the counter, you can find plenty that, with the right storage (recorked and refridged, for both whites and reds), will survive for days.
Rule No. 154: The assassin's compact, high-powered rifie is packaged in a briefcase by Zero Halliburton Rule No. 187: Never trust a man named after a body part. Rule No. 188: Especially if that body part is a pinkie. Rule No. 205: More Calvin, less Hobbes.
l want to be like Paul Bettany. No, l want to be Paul Bettany, Yeah, I know how unprofessional that is. Embarrassing, even. After all, the central lie of celebrity journalism is that deep down, he's no different from you or me. Sure, keep telling yourself that.
»ABSURD INVENTION OF THE MONTH: THE VOICE-ACTIVATED REMOTE CONTROL
Just how lazy are you? Are you so slothful that clicking those buttons on the remote control makes you bone weary? Is your thumb exhausted from pressing mute whenever Bill Maher speaks? Have we got a gadget for you! The new invoca remote control ($100) lets you switch channels and adjust volume with your voice.
purist and letterboxing devotee gave his stamp of approval to this new Philips Designline wide-screen TV. The reason? it accommodates a movie's full width and adjusts the picture to screen dimensions without losing resolution.
Rule No. 72: Stewardesses from Third World airlines are much more attractive than those from developed nations Rule No. 88: The slang used by teens in TV dramas is exactly 3.5 years behind actual slang. Rule No. 104: Come to think of it, the Clapper still isn't coo!.
ESQUIRE'S ANSWER FELLA believes that there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who don't ask questions, fearingthey'll look stupid. So ask Answer Fella anything. If he doesn't know the answer, he'll find out who does, or who has a guess that sounds right. How long after my wife gives birth will I have to wait to get laid again? Sheathe that sword, Zorro. Dr.
Gamble with your friends on whether the final result will be more or less than the amount below. Percentage of About a Boy reviews that will contain the word bumbling within three words of the phrase "Hugh Grant." ESQUIRE ESTIMATE: 87 Percentage of reviews of National Lampoon's Van wilder that will contain the words soul crushing.
Rule No. 543: Only the very rich can use summer and winter as verbs Rule No. 544: Not even the sultan of Brunei can use autumn as a verb. Rule No. 601: The best vocal register is basso profundo. Rule No. 617: People who live inland are fatter than those who live in coastal areas.
No MORE WHEELY CARTS. We’d like to tattoo this on the forehead of every self-described “road warrior” (read: pharmaceutical salesman). The ubiquitous black nylon bags have got to go, if only because it makes us sad to watch their owners fight over them at the baggage carousel.
<p>A Man and Hisa Money Tyco's long-suffering bears are about to get the lst laugh IN DECEMBER ’99, I offhandedly mentioned Tyco International and my suspicions about its bookkeeping on a radio program. I was immediately besieged by nasty letters from longs who took the trouble to figure out my e-mail address. There’s no surer sign of a bullshit company than when it has thinskinned defenders.</p>
<p>THE HORIZON IS MADE of fractured peaks all around its great com, as though the earth had been built once, broken, and then repaired in haste. Often, when my baseball-afflicted friends ask, I recommend that they spend the extra money to go to Arizona for spring training rather than exiling themselves to Baja Alabama, the tiny towns where teams train in Florida.</p>
ESQ: What do the veterans do to the top prospects every year? JB: You let 'em know that all they are is a prospect, and they haven't done anything yet. ESQ: Who was your baseball hero growing up? JB: Carl Yastrzemski. That was the dude. ESQ: Do you feel any sympathy for the Boston Red Sox, with them not winning and you gone? JB: I don't necessarily feel sympathy for them.
THE TRENDS IN GOLF EQUIPMENT at this year's PGA Merchandise Show were as obvious as Ken Venturi's commentary: mondo drivers (Integra debuted one with a 600cc head, roughly the same size as Charlie Brown's), forged irons (from Titleist, Hogan, Nike, MacGregor), gut-anchored belly putters (for easier hara-kiri), and softer balls (including Precept's MC Lady sequel, the Laddie; who says golf is humorless?).
<p>FHUGH GRANT were American, he wouldn’t be a movie star. He’d be a twerp. This is the knowledge that roils men’s blood from Baltimore to Seattle and Duluth to Pascagoula, adding resentment to our confusion when we sit next to better halves reduced to cooing by his mysteriously to-the-point hems and haws, the compellingly vague way he blinks his baby blues (has any romantic lead ever gotten so much mileage out of fumbling with his specs?), his fetchingly self-unsuspected disarray.</p>
Arugula a dessert. Starsky & Hutch a major medical procedure. Cars burn penguins for fuel. Staplers own real estate. Presidents elected by width. Coconut-based life-forms. Civil War over Roy Scheider. Dimes bigger than quarters. Nipples optional.
THESE ODD HOUSES Chris Smith's Home Movie is a hilarious portrait of five American eccentrics and their extraordinary homes. You won't soon forget Linda Beech and her waterfall-powered Hawaiian jungle tree house, or gadget nut Ben Skora, whose tricked-out toilet masquerades as a flowerpot.
"BEHOLD, THERE ARE LAST which shall be first.” A money storm of biblical proportions is brewing over Hollywood this summer. The studios have begotten a slew of “event” movies that should beget “event” opening-weekend grosses. As for profitability, well, the devil is in those details.
Nothing adds spice to the summer like a little personal rivalry, and there's none more personal than the one between Jeffrey Katzenberg at DreamWorks and his former longtime boss, Michael Eisner at Disney. In this case, the weapon of choice is cartoons, f Last year, DreamWorks cleaned Disney's clock while mocking it at the same time with Shrek.
<p>The assignment is "Ten things men don't know about women." I am the worst person to write this. Get Nora Ephron. Get Mim udovitch. But me? Look, if you want a piece on the difference between men and women, you can pick one up next to the cash register at any bookstore.</p>
What happens to a man as he gets older was first explored by Esquire twenty years ago this month. It was a simpler era, when there was not much more to do than keep fit by cutting back on starches and exercising three times a week. ¶ Cut to antiaging today, where the popular news is all about vaccines to kill cancei; hor mone-replacement therapy for men, and growing new arteries for our hearts-in the lab. Where unlikely antioxidant cocktails join salmon-based wrinkle "cures" and car bon-dioxide lasers in delivering more-youthful brains, joints, and skin.
WHEN YOU FIRST HEAR that as you age you may lose thirty to fifty thousand neurons a day from the brain and nervous system, it can tend to make you, well, nervous. But in truth there are so many billions of braid connections, whatever the true number of neurons lost, that this can be viewed as analogous to losing a few strands of hair after a vigorous shampoo.
seventy, the five major risk factors for heart disease are family history, smoking, high cholesterol, diabetes, and high blood pressure. It is no small matter that the last three are related to diet and weight.
LONG BEFORE humans became upright creatures, we spent a good bit of time skulking about on all fours. This ,may not have looked re gal, but it placed a lot less pressure on our backs than our modern biped mode, Had there been Australopithecine personal trainers, they would have explained that it made perfect sense to knuckle-walk, considering the daily grind of the time and the fact that pffice jobs were scarce.
IT MIGHT BE BECAUSE the skin is the body’s largest organ, or more likely it’s due to vanity, but there’s always a revolution going on in the antiaging skin game. So when doctors met at a recent Society for investigative Dermatology event in Washington, D. C.
SEXUALLY SPE AKING, midlife is no time to start playing numbers games. Yet men who first see a urologist in their thirties, forties, or fifties are often startled when the doctor says outright: “Choose a number between 1 and 10.” Si Pause, “But before you do, consider your last erection.
CARS Different cars work with different age groups, and picking the wrong one is like a young man wearing a bow tie and a fedora—it just don’t look right. Below, suggested wheels that are not fun for all ages, just yours. The Cadillac CTS ($35,565).
<p>Two things: Don't skip meals, and get most of your eating in before 6:00 P.M. Leaving everything to dinner means food's getting deposited more as fat; early meals let your brain use nutrients better and can keep you from getting dull.</p>
Great Cars You Can't Have... Unless You Do What We Say
<p>Whenever you're abroad, you see all these fantastic cars you can't get in the States. And you wonder: Can't I just buy one here? (Sure, they'll take your euros.) Can't I just ship it home? (Absolutely.) Will they let me import it? (They might.</p>
1 After Administration's gathering every International shred of Activities info on the Web car page you want, at nhtsa.gov/cars/rules/international/index.html. go to the National Highway Traffic Safety Read every word, then contact a few of the registered importers listed there.
<p>Curtis and Kenth Greenwood, identical twins who usually work separate shifts for the socorro,new mexico,police department, are faniliar faces on the stretch of high way that's part of their work separate shifts for the Socorro, New Mexico, police department, are familiar faces : on the stretch of high - 3 way that's part of their regular,beat. Curtis has feilen a patrolman for only six months, v enlisting because Kenneth, who's been at it for three years, liked it so much.</p>
<p>Respect is everything. When I was a kid in Compton, the other kids would say, “When I grow up, I want a Chevy.” I would say, “I want a Porsche or a Rolls-Royce.” I wanted something other than what I saw in the ghetto. My first memory is of my father picking me up.</p>
GIVE ME YOUR LIFE,YOUR PAIN,YOUR BOTTOMLESS SORROW—IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO DO ANYTHING WITH IT
<p>LTHOUGH WE’D DISCUSSED my upcoming visit to WinstonSalem, my sister and I didn’t make exact arrangements until the eve of my arrival, when I phoned from a hotel in Salt Lake City. “I’ll be at work when you arrive,” she said, “so I’m thinking I’ll just leave the key under the hour ott near the ack toor.</p>
<p>The black circus is dark and smoky and magic. And itis loud and it is black The ringleader Casual Cal, is black, and he's got a black midget sidekick, and the trapeze artist is black and the guy on stilts is black and the guy who vaults thirty feet high and flips and lands on a tiny chair perched in the air is black and the magician is black and the showgirl he makes vanish and who reappears in the tiger cage is black.</p>
Store information For availability of the items featured in Esquire, call the phone number or consult the Web site provided. The style Guide, p:49:Salvatore Ferragamo bag, 800-4451874. P. 50: Prada sport coat. Shirt, and Shoes, 888-9771900. Vestimenta sport coat and trousers, www.vestimenta.com.
Hold vertically to measure Paul Simon's height. Fold over four times and stick in bicycle spokes to produce delightful clicking sounds when you pedal. Use edge to slice wrist if you accidentally wander into an Ed Burns movie. Use as palette to hold oils for homoerotic Charles BronsonClint Eastwood painting.