Issue: 20010701

Sunday, July 1, 2001
July
1
True
136
Thursday, October 15, 2015
5/10/2018 12:21:44 PM

Articles
cover
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Esquire
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0001.xml
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Mercedes-benz Usa, Llc.
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Mercedes-Benz USA, LLC.
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0002.xml
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2,3
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Apple Computer, Inc.
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Apple Computer, Inc.
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0003.xml
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4
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Sauza Tequila
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Sauza Tequila
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0004.xml
tableOfContents
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5,8
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Esquire
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0005.xml
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6,7
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Philip Morris Inc.: Parliament
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Philip Morris Inc.
PARLIAMENT
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0006.xml
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9
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Advertisement: Häagen-Dazs
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Häagen-Dazs
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0007.xml
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10
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Advertisement: Esquire
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Esquire
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0008.xml
masthead
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10
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Esquire
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0009.xml
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11
11
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Gm Corp.: Buick Rendezvous
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GM Corp.
BUICK RENDEZVOUS
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0010.xml
article
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12
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Contributors
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"Ferran Adrià is the future of food, the new physiology of taste," proclaims writer at large Michael Paterniti, who made a pilgrimage to the mountains of Spain in order to reach El Bulli, the restaurant where the world-famous Willy Wonka of cuisine is maniacally changing the way we taste our food.
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0011.xml
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13
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Serengeti
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SERENGETI
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0012.xml
article
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14
the sound & the fury
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Girl Crazy
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Also in May, we published an adaptation of Hampton Sides’s stirring new book, Ghost Soldiers, which tells the story of a mission by a group of Army Rangers to liberate 511 prisoners from a Japanese POW camp in the Philippines near the end of World War II.
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0013.xml
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15
15
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Nivea: After Shave Balm
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NIVEA
AFTER SHAVE BALM
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0014.xml
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16
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Iwc: Alpha Omega
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IWC
ALPHA OMEGA
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0015.xml
article
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17
Man at His Best
A Woman We Love
Amy Smart
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What do we speak of when we speak of America? You know what? Who cares? Leave the examinations of our national character in this, the month of our republic's birth, to the kids over at C-SPAN. it's sunny outside, dammit. Lots to do. Or, for that matter, absolutely nothing to do.
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0016.xml
article
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18
Man at His Best
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The Excerpts
THE BEST AND WORST OF CULTURE THIS MONTH
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“She looked like a Miranda, too, one of life’s English majors. We continued chatting, and by the time the train pulled into Baltimore I knew enough about her life to produce a documentary. Wreathed in luggage, Miranda tidied her hair as she rose on the escalator, then flew into her sister’s arms beneath the station’s restored clock.
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0017.xml
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19
19
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Vox Imported Vodka Fielding & Jones Ltd.
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Vox
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0018.xml
article
20
20
Man at His Best
Entertainment
A Short Interview
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Does the world need another fawning celebrity interviewer? Yes, if that fawning celebrity interviewer happens to be Martin Short in a fat suit. On June 20, Primetime Glick will debut on Comedy Central, with Short playing the part of Jiminy Glick, a delightfully clueless entertainment journalist who sits down for Q&A's with Hollywood's biggest names.
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0019.xml
article
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Man at His Best
Entertainment
The Analogies
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BRENDAN VAUGHAN
Please select the pair that expresses a relationship most similar to that expressed in the original pair. PAUL HOGAN IS TO AUSTRALIA AS: a) The New Jersey Turnpike is to New Jersey b) Landfills are to Staten Island c) Hitler is to Germany d) All of the above FOX NEWS IS TO JOURNALISM AS:
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0020.xml
article
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Man at His Best
Entertainment
Trend of 2
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WILLIAM KECK
COMEDIES ABOUT THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS For all those troubled by the lack of amusing films about mentally challenged athletes, rest easy. There is an end in sight. In the oddest entertainment trendlet since sitcoms about white people adopting diminutive black boys, a double dose of such films is coming soon to a theater near you:
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0021.xml
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21
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Volkswagen
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Jetta Wagon
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0022.xml
article
22
22
Man at His Best
The Opinions
The Indefensible Position
Smoking Has Its Benefits
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TOM CHIARELLA
A PACK OF CIGARETTES has to be the most satisfying purchase of any given day. There's sheer volume, for one thing. You're not buying five or ten of anything. Not even a dozen. Not you. You're buying 20 moments. Twenty chances to unfold your ancient lighter, with the associated pleasure of 20 whiffs of butane and the minimum 20 thumb-rasps on the flint.
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0023.xml
article
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22
Man at His Best
The Opinions
The Endorsement
Foreign Newsbabes
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SAM GROBART
THIS IS ONE OF LIFE'S GREAT TRUTHS: There's nothing sexier than an attractive woman speaking authoritatively about dry and complex issues. Give me a woman talking about Balkan repatriation. Or international tariff structures. Or bovine growth hormones.
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0024.xml
article
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Man at His Best
The Opinions
The Complaint
Movies with ing in the Title
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JEFFREY McQUAIN
IF HOLLYWOOD WERE TO OPTION THIS article, it would no doubt rename it Lacking Originality. Or Annoying Moviegoers. Or maybe Milking Clichés. Lately, the title patter of movies has been stuck in a stale pattern: Each film's name is a phrase beginning with an "ing" word.
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0025.xml
article
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The Rules
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Rule No. 47: Trust no one who uses unusual paper clips.
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0026.xml
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23
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Olympus Camedia
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CAMEDIA
CAMEDIA C-700UZ
CAMEDIA
CAMEDIA C-2100UZ
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0027.xml
article
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Man at His Best
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The Merchandise
BECAUSE MONEY IS MEANT TO BE SPENT
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Something about sitting poolside at the Quisisana on Capri. Or maybe sipping a late-afternoon negroni at Villa d'Este. Either way, there's a definite sense of Mediterranean elegance that tortoiseshell sunglasses impart.The ones we have here take that classic style and update it with modern rectilinear shapes.
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0028.xml
sidebar
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Man at His Best
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For the Man Who Wants
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ELIZABETH EINSTEIN
For the Man Who Wants to Feel Movies in His Butt. A Lot. Imagine the terror of actually feeling Marlon Brando's thundering foot steps right in your own home. Scary, yes? Well, a new gadget lets you do just that. Or something like it, anyway. For a mere $16,000, you can have your couch equipped with D-Box's Odyssee Motion Simulator, an exquisitely silly new gizmo that sits under your couch and shakes and rumbles your seat in time with the on screen action in movies.
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0029.xml
article
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The Rules
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Rule No. 20: Gratuitous Nazi-bashing never goes out of style. Rule No. 39: Fried calamari is inevitably disappointing. Rule No. 55: Your car never runs better, faster, or smoother than after it's washed. Rule No. 111: Nobody named "Josh" is over 35.
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0030.xml
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25
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Advertisement: Häagen-dazs
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Häagen-Dazs
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0031.xml
article
26
26,30
Man at His Best
Drinking
I Know What You Drank Last Summer...
... Mojitos and margaritas, light reds and chardonnay, wheat beer and Red Stripe and plain old Bud. No? Okay, so maybe I don't know—not exactly. But I do know what you didn't drink. These.
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DAVID WONDRICH
Whiskey knows no season, especially when it’s 18 years old, full-bodied,spicy, and new in town. Now, I’m not suggesting that you take advantage... but if you do, do it on the rocks. Or in an oldfashioned. Or, of course, in a Sazerac rye: Muddle a sugar cube with a few drops of water, 3 drops of Peychaud's bitters, and a dash of Angostura bitters.
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0032.xml
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27
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Jack Daniel's Distillery: Tennessee Whiskey
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Jack Daniel Distillery
TENNESSEE WHISKEY
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0033.xml
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28,29
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Microsoft Office XP
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0034.xml
article
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Man at His Best
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Better Sex Through Gourmet Camping
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W.HODDING CARTER
WE'D BEEN WORKING AT making a baby for six months. After all that nonstop sex, we were an exhausted, depleted couple. And still no baby. The Great Smoky Mountains called to us like the high-pitched, soulful mating call of an elk in rut. (It's quite sexy.)
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0035.xml
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Balance Bar
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BALANCE BAR
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0036.xml
article
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Man at His Best
The Answers
Killer Oysters, Processed Cheese & Swiss Accounts
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ESQUIRE'S ANSWER FELLA believes that there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who don't ask questions, fearing they'll look stupid. So ask Answer Fella anything. If he doesn't know the answer, he'll find out who does, or who has a guess that sounds right.
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0037.xml
sidebar
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$$ Milliondollar Ideas
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SHOES WITH BATTERY-POWERED MOVABLE TREADS (LIKE IN AIRPORTS) THE SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER GAY PRESIDENT DIAPERS ON WHICH OCCUPIED APPEARS AFTER SOMETHING HAPPENS BIBLETHEMED CASINOS TEEN PARENTING MAGAZINE
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0038.xml
article
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Man at His Best
The Answers
The $8,500 Modem!
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S.G.
You know when you're in, say, Chad, and you really need a connection to the Internet? You don't? Oh. Well, if you were in Chad (or any other remote location) and needed a connection to the Internet, your best bet would be a Thrane & Thrane M4 Capsat Messenger.
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0039.xml
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Subaru: Wrx
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SUBARU
WRX
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0040.xml
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Thompson Cigar Company
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Thompson Cigar Company
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0041.xml
article
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35,36,37
THE Portfolio
A Man and His Money
Green: Feel Lucky?
BENEATH ALL THE GLITZ AND VICE, VEGAS LOOKS READY FOR A LOSING STREAK
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Ken Kurson
The Aladdin is a disaster. No magic lamp will fix this unimpressive, badly run casino hotel, a $1.3 billion debacle on some of the best Strip real estate. It’s not just that the doors are small and too close to the street or that the service is confused.
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0042.xml
article
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THE Portfolio
A Man and His Money
If I Designed the Money...
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ROBERT KALINA
People identify with banknotes. When I designed the first euro, I chose bridges and open gateways and windows to symbolize the spirit of cooperation within the European Union. As Europeans, we do not have the shared culture that Americans have.
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0043.xml
sidebar
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THE Portfolio
BeachReading Riches
You Can’t Make a Fortune with Moby-dick
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Ken Kurson
<p>I rarely waste my space on business books because they all advise the same thing my own did: Buy low, sell high. But occasionally a book outside the world of finance can help you make a killing. Michael Pollan's new book. The Botany of DeSire (Random House, $25), traces the history of four plants.</p>
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0044.xml
article
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38,40,49
the screen
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Head Shot
Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft gives us an excuse to consider our next major art form-games
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Tom Carbon
ANGELINA JOLIE ISN’T my idea of Lara Croft, but is Jolie anyone’s idea of anything? In her video-game incarnation, Tomb Raider’s lady explorer makes Barbie dolls look documentary, from her cutlery gams and distinctively high-hocked walk to a pair of Brockoviches that wouldn’t look out of place if hung on a Calder mobile.
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0045.xml
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39
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Sony Electronics Inc.: Digital8 Handycam
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Sony Electronics Inc.
Digital8 Handycam
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0046.xml
article
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the screen
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The Index
THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW
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1 A TV SHOW YOU CAN AFFORD TO MISS It happens. Even our beloved HBO—home of the exquisite Sopranos and the frothy Sex and the City—airs the occasional series that misfires. Case in point: Six Feet Under. Despite its pedigreed writer (Alan Ball of American Beauty fame) and a promisingly dark topic (life at a family-owned morgue), the first episode is surprisingly lackluster.
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0047.xml
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41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48
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Chrysler
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CHRYSLER
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0048.xml
article
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50,52,53
The Lives of Men
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My Cancer Story
Countdown to surgery, erection management, and inhaling for pain relief
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Curtis Pesmen
<p>On December 22,2000, author Curtis Pesmen became one of the l30,000 Americans who learned they had colorectal cancer last year. This article is the third in a series. High Mileage/Low Mileage Feeling like a low-mileage patient today. . .</p>
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0049.xml
sidebar
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52
the lives of men
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What to Say... Or Not
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JIM MOSCOU
What to Say... OR NOT TO SAY, DO OR NOT DO When you get news that cancer has hit some one close to home or work (one out of two American men will get cancer in their lifetime), here are some rules to keep your foot far from your mouth: Never talk about your dog's or cat's bout with cancer.
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0050.xml
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51
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Klaus Kobec Timepieces International: Charisma
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Timepieces International
Charisma
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0051.xml
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52
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Bishop Wines & Spirits, Inc.
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Bishop Wines & Spirits, Inc.
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0052.xml
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Hearst Communications Inc.: Atomic Alarm Clock
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Hearst Communications Inc.
Atomic Alarm Clock
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0053.xml
article
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54,56
music
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How to Write a Song
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Joe Henry
I HAD A DREAM. A VISION, I'm tempted to say. But that would sound too mystica1 and make me sound like. .. I don't know, like . .. Sting. Not something I can afford at this particular stage of my career. My "career"is being a singer, songwriter, and recording artist, and the vision of which I speak concerns the song that would become the template for my new album, Scar.
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0054.xml
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55
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Mercury: 2002 Mountaineer
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Mercury
2002 Mountaineer
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0055.xml
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57
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Columbia House Dvd Club
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columbia House DVD Club
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0056.xml
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58
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Style Agenda
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Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0057.xml
article
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59,60,61
The Esquire Guide:
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Prepster Stripes
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To be judged by the content of your character would be nice, but who really has the time? Better to look at the stripes on another bloke's necktie and start with that. At least that's the way it's done in England. When a nineteenth-century limey schoolboy had the pluck to remove the colored ribbon from his boater and wear it around his neck, the school tie was born.
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0058.xml
article
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62,63,64,65
Profiles
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Jon Stewart
The smartest, most innovative show on TV is not Frontline or Nightline... or any Line. It is a small new show on Comedy Central hosted by a wiseass kid from New Jersey who has to comment on everything.
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A. J. JACOBS
<p>Jon Stewart didn't want us to write this profile. Well, he wasn't sure, anyway. I pleaded, his publicist begged, but Stewart had to think about it, let us sweat a little. So was he being a bit of a diva, I ask later? No, he insists. Just insecure.Stewart says he was worried an Esquire cover was simply too much of a good thing.</p>
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0059.xml
article
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66,67,68,69,136
ten MEN
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Charlton Heston
He starred in Touch of Evil for Orson Welles. He did theater with Laurence Olivier. He's done more Shakespeare onscree than anyone else alive. His favorite actress is a Maoist named Vanessa Redgrave. He can talk about politics, but he'd rather not. The unexpected life of Charlton Heston, actor.
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JOHN H. RICHARDSON
<p>THREE YEARS AGO, he had hip-replacement surgery. He moves a bit stiffly through the locker room, surprising a group of naked college athletes. As they step aside to let him through, someone makes a joke about parting the Red Sea. He doesn't seem to notice.</p>
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0060.xml
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70,71,72,73,74,75,76,77,134
ten MEN
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Josef Penninger
He's thirty-six. He's the son of Austrian farmers. He's saved the world once. He's on the verge of saving it again. And his greatest discovery is just around the corner. He's going to save you.
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MARY ROGAN
THE GREATEST SCIENTIST OF OUR TIME worries about you every day. He worries about the diseases lurking in your genes, the ache in your bones, the viruses sneaking up on your heart. And he worries about your soul, too. He worries whether you have one, and he worries about what you're going to do with it.
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0061.xml
article
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78,79,80,81,82,83,137
TEN MEN
PROFILES
Michael Bay
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JEANNE MARIE LASKAS
<p> DON’T BE AN ASSHOLE. This is what his mother tells him, or what he hears his mother telling him, or at least what he reports hearing his mother tell him, the main point being that he is well aware of the asshole assumption. </p>
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0062.xml
article
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84,85,86,87,88,89,90,91,92,93
ESQUIRE STYLE
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Ten Angry Men
Sit up straight, trim that hair, and, for God's sake, put on a tie: The real-world wardrobe is back, and anyone looking to impress the jury had better follow suit.
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Matt Jones
"See, the more I believe that you are innocent, the more nervous I am. I go out on a limb for you, you're proven guilty, I look like an ass. My reputation, my credibility, my career—destroyed." Alan Dershowitz (Ron Silver), Reversal of Fortune
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0063.xml
article
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94,95
What I’ve Learned
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Mark Burnett
Television producer (Survivor), 41, Santa Monica, California
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MIKE SAGER
<p><strong>All human beings </strong>have good intentions. We tell ourselves we’re not going to say a certain thing to a loved one, that we’re not going to do a certain thing at work. But we always fall back into the same patterns. We’re all just who we are. </p>
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0064.xml
article
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96,97,98,99,100,101
Ten Men
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Don Zimmer
He has fungo bats that are older than Derek Jeter. He has come as close to seeing it all as a baseball man can possibly come. Now he's in his fifty-third consecutive season in the dugout,and life has never been sweeter.
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SCOTT RAAB
<p>LIKE LOVE, ZIMMER'S ALL AROUND US. All you need are eyes to see. </p><p>I can't explain. All I can tell you is that there's this diner in north Jersey—well, you got a million and one diners in north Jersey, but this is the Nevada Diner in Bloomfield, and it's just before nine on a dead-of-winter Saturday morning, and I'm waiting for a pal, smoking and shivering and pacing the sidewalk between the Nevada and Frankie's Future-Matic Car Wash.</p>
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0065.xml
article
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102,103,104,105
Ten Men
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Frank Gehry
In 2003, the celebrated architect's biggest project yet, the state-of-the-art, 424,000-square-foot computerscience lab at MIT, will be complete. This is the story, in his words, of how it came to be.
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BARBARA ISENBERG
<p>WHEN I HEARD THAT the folks at MIT were interviewing architects for the new Stata Center in 1997, I got all excited about meeting these bloody geniuses and mixing it up with them. They sent their senior scientists out to visit my office, and they were impressive.</p>
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0066.xml
article
106
106,107,108,109,110,111,112,113,134,135
ten MEN
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The Chicago Crime Commission
WAYNE JOHNSON His organization once brought Capone land Giancana to heel. Today, the Chicago Crime Commission onsists of one determined guy. Now people in Chicago laugh When you mention the Mafia. It doesn't even exist anymore, does it? Wayne Johnson's not laughing.
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[no value]
ROBERT KURSON
<p>ON GRAND AVENUE IN CHICAGO, a man sits in a car, watching and waiting. Afternoon becomes evening becomes night, and still he waits. Outside a quaint Italian restaurant, gentlemen open doors for their dates, puff after-dinner cigars, and tip valets handsomely.</p>
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0067.xml
article
114
114,115
ten MEN
[no value]
Pootie Tang
The super-smooth crime fighter is the creation of comic Louis C. K. and actor Lance Crouther, who together are one of the funniest men in America.
[no value]
[no value]
ROBERT LEAVER
ON THE SCREEN, Pootie Tang is about to get it on with a special lady friend. The camera snap-zooms into his face and he delivers his smoldering promise: "Baby, I'm gonna sine your pitty on the runny kine." Pootie Tang is a sleek, crime-fighting superhero with a Jheri-curl ponytail, a magical ass-whipping belt, and a powder-blue vintage Corvette.
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0068.xml
article
116
116,117,118,119,120,121,122,123,138,139
Ten Men
[no value]
Ferran Adrià
The true tale of the amazing alchemical miracles and transcendental gastronomy of Ferran Adrià, the world's greatest chef. Or: How to Eat.
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[no value]
MICHAEL PATERNITI
<p>One night last summer I went to dinner at El Bulli, a Michelin three-star restaurant famous for serving some of the world's most curious food. It's a long distance from where I live, so I had to fly to Paris, then south to Barcelona.</p>
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0069.xml
article
124
124,125,126,127,128,129
ESQUIER STYLE
[no value]
The Eccentrics
Three singular Italian designers offer lessons in finding a personal style PORTRAITS BY FABRIZIO FERRI
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[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0070.xml
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130
130
[no value]
[no value]
The Sinclair Intimacy Institute: the Bettersex Video
[no value]
The Sinclair Intimacy Institute
THE BetterSex Video
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0071.xml
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131
131
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement: Folliguard
[no value]
[no value]
Folliguard
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0072.xml
advertisement
132
132
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement: Betterman
[no value]
[no value]
BetterMAN
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0073.xml
advertisement
132
132
[no value]
[no value]
Laserstrand
[no value]
LaserStrand
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0074.xml
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132
132
[no value]
[no value]
Them En's Shoppe
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0075.xml
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133
133
[no value]
[no value]
Wellquest
[no value]
WELLQUEST INTERNATIONAL,INC.
Veinish
WELLQUEST INTERNATIONAL,INC.
Bloussant
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0076.xml
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136
136
[no value]
[no value]
The Xandria Collection
[no value]
THE XANDRIA COLLECTION
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[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0077.xml
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137
137
[no value]
[no value]
The Ber Group,inc.
[no value]
The BER Group,Inc.
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[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0078.xml
article
139
139
[no value]
[no value]
Credits
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Store information For availability of the items featured in Esquire, call the phone number or consult the Web site provided: The Guide, p. 59: Robert Talbott tie, 800-747-8778; www.roberttalbott.com. Polo by Ralph Lauren ties, 888-4757674; www.polo.com.
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0079.xml
article
140
140
This Way Out
[no value]
Selections From the Rodney Dangerfield Collection
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Mike Reiss
<p>"HELLO, I'm Rodney Dangerfield, and I don't get no respect. This was once more than a catchphrase. My psychiatrist says it was a cry for help. So to earn a little respect, I began collecting art. And thanks to the good peo ple at the Bellagio Hotel Annex in Elko, Nevada, I can share it with you! So join me on an audio tour of my private art collection, featuring Rembrandt, Goya, Matisse, Neiman, Beethoven, and Faux.</p>
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0080.xml
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141
141
[no value]
[no value]
Philip Morris Inc.: Marlboro Lights Kings Box
[no value]
Philip Morris Inc.
Marlboro Lights Kings Box
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0081.xml
advertisement
142
142
[no value]
[no value]
Cadillac
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010701_0136_001_0082.xml