Issue: 20010601

Friday, June 1, 2001
June
6
True
135
Thursday, August 6, 2015
5/23/2018 8:32:15 AM

Articles
cover
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0_1
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Esquire
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0001.xml
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0_2,1
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Marlboro, Philip Morris Inc. 2000
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0002.xml
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2
2,3
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Tommy Hilfiger
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TOMMY HILFIGER
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0003.xml
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4
4,5
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Lexus: 2001 Gs 430
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LEXUS
2001 GS 430
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0004.xml
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6
6,7
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Dunhill
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dunhill
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0005.xml
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8
8,9
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Philip Morris Inc.: Parliament
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Philip Morris Inc.
PARLIAMENT
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0006.xml
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10
10,11
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Nivea: After Shave Balm
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NIVEA
AFTER SHAVE BALM
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0007.xml
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12
12
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Chivas Bros. Import Co.
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Chivas Bros. Import Co.
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0008.xml
tableOfContents
13
13,16
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Esquire
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0009.xml
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14
14,15
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Mercedes-benz Usa, Llc.: Sl Silver Arrow
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Mercedes-Benz USA, LLC.
SL Silver Arrow
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0010.xml
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17
17
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Boucheron: Jaïpur Homme
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BOUCHERON
JAÏPUR HOMME
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0011.xml
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18
18
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Advertisement: Esquire
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Esquire
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0012.xml
masthead
18
18
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Esquire
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0013.xml
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19
19
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Olymmpus America Inc.: Camedia
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Olymmpus America Inc.
CAMEDIA
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0014.xml
article
20
20
editor’s letter
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Points of Pride
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David Granger
I SHOULD MENTION SOMETHING. In mid-March, the nominations for the National Magazine Awards were announced. Esquire is a finalist for eight awards, more nominations than any other monthly magazine has received in the thirty-five-year history of the awards.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0015.xml
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21
21
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Movado: Vizio Sport
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MOVADO
vizio sport
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0016.xml
article
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22
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Contributors
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One of the most rewarding aspects of putting together "What It Feels Like," page 89, was meeting the people who shared their stories with us. Writer Michael Finkel tells what it feels like to be attacked by a swarm of killer bees by writing a poem that seems so painfully accurate, you can't help but laugh.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0017.xml
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23
23
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Colehaan
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COLEHAAN
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0018.xml
article
24
24,26
The Sound & The Fury
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Mr. December
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Reading about Rodriguez, I saw similarities to other talented athletes, but where Hicks saw Tiger and Jordan, I saw Dan Marino. Is A-Rod a supremely gifted athlete? No doubt. But like Marino, he will always have reason for his relative failure by looking outward.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0019.xml
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25
25
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Giorgio Armani: Acqua Di Giò
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GIORGIO ARMANI
ACQUA DI GIÒ
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0020.xml
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26
26
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Advertisement: Esquire
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Esquire
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0021.xml
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27
27
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Beefeater Gin
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BEEFEATER GIN
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0022.xml
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28
28
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Gucci
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GUCCI
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0023.xml
article
29
29
Man at His Best
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A Woman We Love
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The new Michael Bay/Jerry Bruckheimer summer blockbuster Pearl Harbor may be as subtle as, say, a sneak attack on a naval base. It may twist historical facts like a propaganda minister. But one thing's for sure: It looks good. Real good. Those slow-motion shots of low-flying planes, the way you follow the bomb right onto its target.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0024.xml
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30
30,31
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Volkswagen: Passat Glx
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Volkswagen
Passat GLX
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0025.xml
article
32
32
Man at His Best
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The Excerpts
THE BEST AND WORST OF CULTURE THIS MONTH
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“She was tall and well-built, a black-haired Italian girl with a faint shine of sweat on her brow, and as she walked ahead of him toward the dance floor, threading her way between the tables, he reveled in the slow grace of her twisting hips and floating skirt.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0026.xml
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32a
32a,32b
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Nautica: Latitude Longitude
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NAUTICA
LATITUDE LONGITUDE
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0027.xml
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33
33
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Skechers
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SKECHERS
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0028.xml
article
34
34
Man at His Best
Entertainment
Dirty Pictures
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SAM GROBART
Back in the day, Hollywood was the same den of immorality and prurience that it is accused of being today. We speak of the era before the restrictive Production Code of 1934 put the kibosh on virtually all expressions of sexuality, before the winks and nudges of the '40s and '50s.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0029.xml
article
34
34
Man at His Best
Entertainment
Four Reasons to Love Closed Captioning
JUST IN TIME FOR MAY SWEEPS, AN ODE TO THE JOY OF TEXT
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JOHN MUNZER
1. EFFICIENCY. I have TiVo. (For those who haven't yet been subjected to proselytizing by TiVo devotees, I'm telling you, this is the best thing to happen to TV since the cancellation of The Tony Danza Show.) With my captioning on, I pop my TiVo into fast-forward mode, and I can read a sitcom in eight minutes flat.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0030.xml
article
34
34
Man at His Best
Entertainment
The Analogies
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BRENDAN VAUGHAN
Please select the pair that expresses a relationship most similar to that expressed in the original pair. KATE HUDSON IS TO MIRA SORVINO AS: a) Smirnoff Ice is to Zima b) Capitalism is to feudalism c) Arena Football is to the XFL d) Chartreuse is to forest green
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0031.xml
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35
35
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Cartier: Pasha Watch
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cartier
Pasha Watch
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0032.xml
article
36
36
Man at His Best
The Opinions
The Endorsement
The Plunger
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SCOTT RAAB
I LEARNED EARLY—shoelaces confused me—that I would never be a tool guy. Whatever handy means, I am not it. And that's okay: I have long since mastered the two essential tools of home repair, the pen and the checkbook. But like any other man, I get huge satisfaction and the pride of potency when anything works because of these two hands.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0033.xml
article
36
36
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The Rules
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Rule No. 47: The stupider the man, the slower he walks. Rule No. 71: The best blind dates are with girls named Kelly or Samantha. Rule No. 83: Foreigner is playing at a small venue near you this very night. And tickets are stili available. Rule No. 112: There is no shame in a good mango.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0034.xml
article
36
36
Man at His Best
The Opinions
The Indefensible Position
It's Okay to Root for White Guys in the NBA
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TOM CHIARELLA
I KNOW, I KNOW, AUSTIN CROSHERE turned out to be something of a pussy. Jason Williams is a turnover hound, and Tom Gugliotta is not a closer. Still, when it comes to the NBA, I root for the white guys. This has nothing to do with the familiar aphorisms.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0035.xml
article
36
36
Man at His Best
The Opinions
The Complaint
Hot Red Wine
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ANTHONY GIGLIO
HEY, GARÇON, IF I WANTED a steaming cup of Swiss Miss, I would've asked for it, okay? Here's my problem: When I order red wine at one of your better eateries—too damn warm. "But red wine isn't supposed to be chilled, right?" Yeah, but that rule originated a couple of centuries ago, when a pack of Brits decreed that red wine should be served at room temperature.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0036.xml
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37
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R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Co.: Camel
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R.J. REYNOLDS TOBACCO CO.
CAMEL
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0037.xml
article
38
38
Man at His Best
Food & Drink
Put a Plastic Cork in It!
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ANDREA IMMER
It happens more and more. You slice off the foil on a wine bottle and you're confronted with a Day-Glo yellow or raspberry or green thingy in place of a good old cork. Do not panic. You've merely encountered the new wave in wines: the synthetic cork, ¶ Truth is, natural cork, taken from the bark of oak trees in southern Portugal, is far from the perfect stopper.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0038.xml
article
38
38
Man at His Best
Food & Drink
Watching the Game, Having a Budvar
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STEPHEN BEAUMONT
Perhaps some beer geek has told you the tale of that mythical other Budweiser, the one from across the sea. He wasn't lying. Go to the small Czech town of Budweis, about 75 miles south of Prague, and you can order a mug of the beloved Budweiser Budvar, made by a tiny brewery with no ties to the behemoth Anheuser-Busch.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0039.xml
article
38
38
Man at His Best
Food & Drink
The $31 Loaf of Bread
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CAL FUSSMAN
YOU HEAR ABOUT the guy In New York who paid $100,000 so that his children and grandchildren would receive a loaf of bread from the Poilâne bakery in Paris each week for the rest of their lives? You gotta wonder: How good can this bread be? Not hard to find out.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0040.xml
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39
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David Yurman
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DAVID YURMAN
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0041.xml
article
40
40
Man at His Best
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The Merchandise
BECAUSE MONEY IS MEANT TO BE SPENT
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SAM GROBART
WE REALLY DIDN'T have a problem with Charvet. The French shirtmaker was already aces in our book as far as expert tailoring and craftsmanship were concerned, but apparently we're easy to please. The Parisian shop has introduced a new shirt into its ready-to-wear lineup that was designed from the ground up for these modern, tieless times.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0042.xml
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41
41
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Chrysler: 300m
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CHRYSLER
300M
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0043.xml
article
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42
Man at His Best
Books
Seek & You Shall Find...
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ADRIENNE MILLER
DENIS JOHNSON, poet, novelist, shortstory writer, journalist, and author of Jesus'Son, the mind-blowing short-story collection that has confused legions of undergrads about whether one adds an apostrophe-s after an s, writes with a fervor that can only be described as religious.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0044.xml
article
42
42
Man at His Best
Books
Empire Falls
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TOM BISSELL
NOW THAT John Irving is a certified casualty of upward mobility, Richard Russo stands alone as the Stendhal of blue-collar America. With Empire Falls (Knopf, $26), Russo returns from an entertaining, inconclusive foray into the elbow-patched campus satire of Straight Man to the hard-luck themes of his own Mohawk and Nobody’s Fool.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0045.xml
article
42
42
Man at His Best
Books
Five for Your Shelf
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THE PROVING GROUND (Little, Brown, $25) is first-time author G. Bruce Knecht's account of the deadly 1998 Hobart yacht race in Australia. What a fantastic adventure story this is—the ultimate richboy sport turned lethal when the weather took a turn for the worse.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0046.xml
article
42
42
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The Rules
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Rule NO. 42: Never trust a man with two first names. Rule No. 43: it then follows that you should steer well clear of Philip Michael Thomas.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0047.xml
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43
43
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Häagen-dazs: Gelato
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Häagen-Dazs
gelato
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0048.xml
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44
44,45
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Easton Press
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Easton Press
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0049.xml
article
46
46
Man at His Best
The Answers
Carny Life, Mr. Rogers & Grecian Formula
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ESQUIRE'S ANSWER FELLA believes that there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who don't ask questions, fearing they'll look stupid. So ask Answer Fella anything. If he doesn't know the answer, he'll find out who does, or who has a guess that sounds right.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0050.xml
article
46
46
Man at His Best
The Answers
A Record Collection Too Funky for Words. on Sale, and Online.
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CHRISTOPHER BEREND
Somewhere in Chicago right now, two fanatics at a record store are arguing over whether Miles Davis's 1963 Seven Steps to Heaven was better with the East or West Coast rhythm section. This isn't their first argument, and it won't be their last, because these guys hang out at Dusty Groove America, which has perhaps the greatest collection ever assembled of jazz, soul, funk, lounge, and everything in between—all there on vinyl or CD and waiting to go home with you.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0051.xml
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47
47
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Bloomingdale's
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bloomingdale's
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0052.xml
advertisement
48
48
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Toyota Motor Sales, U.s.a., Inc.: Certified Pre-owned Lexus
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Toyota Motor Sales, U.S.A., Inc.
CERTIFIED PRE-OWNED LEXUS
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[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0053.xml
article
49
49,50,52
The Portfolio
GREEN
Stepping Out with Cisco
ALL THIS DOOM CAN’T HIDE A REAL BARGAIN
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Ken Kurson
I’m going to depart this month from my tradition of wonderfully unambiguous, clearheaded, “Do this now or you’re a Fudgsicle” type of advice. It’s this simple: If you believe that the Internet and networking are real, that these are the life-changing innovations the whole damn country bet its life savings on, then you have to bet on Cisco.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0054.xml
article
50
50
The Portfolio
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If I Designed the Money...
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Do you ever get the feeling that you're being watched—your every step, every credit-card transaction, every mouse click? You probably are. For whatever reason, someone is trying to keep tabs on what you eat, where you go, what you know. It's different with cash.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0055.xml
article
50
50
The Portfolio
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Fun with Numbers
BAD NEWS: YOUR COMPANY JUST MADE ITS ESTIMATES
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K. K.
In a broad-based recession, you expect just about every sector to be affected. So I'm skeptical whenever a company moves too quickly to announce that it won't miss projections. If gross margins are thinning whiie earnings per share aren't, look for onetime gains that don't reflect on the company's fundamental health.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0056.xml
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51
51
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Audiovox
[no value]
Audiovox Corporation
DVD 1680 VIDEO PLAYER
Audiovox Corporation
CDM 9100
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0057.xml
article
52
52
The Portfolio
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New Power Moves
ANOTHER CHOICE FOR WHEN THE LIGHTS GO OUT NATIONWIDE
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K. K.
Why invest in companies that are not only not growing but are scheduled to cease existing in a few years? The yield, man, the yield. We're talking about oil-royalty trusts, and although their share prices can be risky as hell, the checks they send you may just mean they're the best stocks around in a down market.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0058.xml
sidebar
52
52
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The Book
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How on earth can Juniper be in the thirties? Yes, it's still wearing a PE over 80, and, yes, its sector has gone Chernobyl. But the company keeps taking market share from none other than Cisco with lucrative high-capacity routers (see The Downside, above).
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0059.xml
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53
53
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Iwc
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IWC
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0060.xml
article
54
54,56,61
the screen
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Like a Genius
Thirty movies later, what are we to think or Woody Allen?
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Tom Carson
DEPENDING ON WHETHER HIS EARLY GOOF What’s Up Tiger Lily? makes the list, Woody Allen’s upcoming The Curse of the Jade Scorpion will be either the thirtieth or the thirty-first feature he’s directed, plugging away on a self-imposed schedule of roughly one Woody per annum that neither snow nor heat nor gloom of Mia has derailed since 1969.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0061.xml
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55
55
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Cadillac
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0062.xml
article
56
56
the screen
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The Index
THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW
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1 A MOVIE TO SEE Think you've had enough of Brit gangster films? Hold off on that sentiment for a moment, because Sexy Beast is the most entertaining mob movie in some time. Yes, the plot sounds familiar—retired criminal is enticed into one last job—but the acting is outstanding, the script sharp, and the direction accomplished.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0063.xml
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57
57,58
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Pfizer Inc: Viagra
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Pfizer Inc
VIAGRA
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0064.xml
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58
58
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Advertisement: Esquire
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Esquire
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0065.xml
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59
59
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Hnh Originals
[no value]
HNH Originals
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0066.xml
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60
60
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Spencer Forrest, Inc.: Toppik Hair Building Fibers
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SPENCER FORREST, INC.
TOPPIK HAIR BUILDING FIBERS
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0067.xml
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61
61
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Conair Corporation
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Conair Corporation
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[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0068.xml
advertisement
61
61
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[no value]
Conair Corporation
[no value]
Conair Corporation
[no value]
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0069.xml
article
62
62,64,66,68
SPORTS
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The Hammer of God
Yankees closer Mariano Rivera is so good, it hurts
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Charles P. Pierce
<p>NOT written about the art of tne autograph. Oh, we have had earnest disquisitions concerning the science of the autograph, an unfortunately integral element of which has become a twelve-year-old boy standing forlornly in the lobby of a hotel at two in the morning while his greasy pimp daddy lurks nearby behind a potted plant.</p>
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0070.xml
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63
63
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[no value]
Weber
[no value]
Weber-Stephen Products Co.
Smokey Joe Silver
Weber-Stephen Products Co.
Smokey Joe Platinum
[no value]
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0071.xml
article
64
64
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The Index
THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW
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ELIZABETH EINSTEIN
1 SERVE LIKE TARZAN, LOOK LIKE JANE We're always a little suspicious of gussied up, gimmicky sports equipment. (Remember those patentleather Air Jordans?) But we just tested the new Wilson Hyper Hammer 6.6 tennis racket ($200; 800-946-6060), and we were actually impressed.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0072.xml
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65
65
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[no value]
Häagen-dazs
[no value]
Häagen-Dazs
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0073.xml
advertisement
67
67
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Post: Shredded Wheat
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POST
SHREDDED WHEAT
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0074.xml
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68
68
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Rums of Puerto Rico
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RUMS of PUERTO RICO
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Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0075.xml
advertisement
69
69
[no value]
[no value]
Captain Morgan
[no value]
Captain Morgan
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0076.xml
article
70
70,72,74
the lives of men
[no value]
My Cancer Story
An emergency in radiation, worrying about my brain, and meeting an anal probe
[no value]
[no value]
Curtis Pesmen
Don’t know why I’m surprised, five weeks into treatment, how much cancer hurts, but I am. The pain I’ve gotten to know, that renders me horizontal at least five hours a day, has started fucking with my mind. I’ve been hurting at least four months now.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0077.xml
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71
71
[no value]
[no value]
The History Channel: Egypt Beyond the Pyramids
[no value]
THE HISTORY CHANNEL
EGYPT BEYOND THE PYRAMIDS
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0078.xml
article
72
72
the lives of men
[no value]
The Facts
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
LUKE ZALESKI
Colorectal cancer is the second leading cause of cancer-related death in the U. S. (Lung cancer is the first.) 11 percent of deaths from cancer in the U. S. in 2000 were due to colorectal cancer. About 90 percent of people diagnosed with colon cancer are over age 50.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0079.xml
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73
73
[no value]
[no value]
The History Channel: Egypt Beyond the Pyramids
[no value]
THE HISTORY CHANNEL
EGYPT BEYOND THE PYRAMIDS
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0080.xml
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74
74
[no value]
[no value]
Kf Holdings
[no value]
KF Holdings
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0081.xml
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75
75
[no value]
[no value]
The History Channel: Egypt Beyond the Pyramids
[no value]
THE HISTORY CHANNEL
EGYPT BEYOND THE PYRAMIDS
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0082.xml
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76
76
[no value]
[no value]
Style Agenda
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0083.xml
article
77
77,78,80,82
Style
[no value]
The Esquire Guide: Denim
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
THERE HAS NEVER BEEN, nor may there ever be, a piece of clothing more identified with America than blue jeans or their many relatives. They’re right up there with the ’57 Chevy Bel Air, the Golden Arches, and the red stitching and white leather of a Rawlings baseball. We didn’t borrow them from the British or steal them from the Italians.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0084.xml
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79
79
[no value]
[no value]
Serengeti
[no value]
SERENGETI
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0085.xml
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81
81
[no value]
[no value]
Hearst Communications Inc.: Grundig Am/fm Radio
[no value]
Hearst Communications Inc.
GRUNDIG AM/FM RADIO
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0086.xml
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83
83
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0087.xml
article
84
84,85,86
[no value]
[no value]
Things a Man Should Know About Sex
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
<p>You are a man among men. You have mastered every nuance of pleasuringyour partner. You are the greatest lover alive. No? Oh, right—that’s us! And that’s why we present this excerpt from Esquire's Things a Man Should Know About Sex, the latest in our series of concise, sometimes amusing, and always informative books about, well, things a man should know.</p>
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0088.xml
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87
87,88
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement: Vox
[no value]
[no value]
VOX
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0089.xml
article
89
89,90,91
What It Feels Like
[no value]
What It Feels Like to Walk on the Moon
You are about to experience the heights and depths of the human condition. Do not panic Turn the page.
[no value]
[no value]
Buzz Aldrin
The surface of the moon was like fine talcum powder. It was very loose at the top. As you begin to get deeper, a half inch or so, it becomes much more compact, almost as if It's cemented together, though it isn't. It just seems that way because there are no air molecules between the molecules of dust.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0090.xml
article
92
92
What It Feels Like
[no value]
What It Feels Like to Get Frostbite
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Ranulph Fiennes
It was a full moon that night, and the temperature was -45 degrees Fahrenheit. In the moonlight, the arctic landscape resembles a fairyland. There are ice blocks of every shape and size, and they can look like elephants or skyscrapers or demons, and the snow is just the most lovely color.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0091.xml
article
93
93
What It Feels Like
[no value]
What It Feels Like to Be Homer Simpson
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
DAN CASTELLANETA
The secret of Homer Simpson is imagining that he’s a dog trapped in a man’s body, and that’s pretty much it. Homer is easily distracted. He’ll chase after birds and squirrels. He’ll eat whatever is in front of him. He’s incredibly loyal to his family.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0092.xml
article
93
93
What It Feels Like
[no value]
What It Feels Like to Have An Epileptic Seizure
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
TARYN DRONGOWSKI
One gorgeous and rainy afternoon while I was studying at Oxford, I saw a dome of umbrellas. When I walked closer, I saw all these old British people clustered around a woman having a seizure. I could see myself in that scene. I thought, “Is that what it looks like when I have a seizure?
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0093.xml
article
94
94,95
What It Feels Like
[no value]
What It Feels Like to Take Acid
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
I took acid only once, on a boat in Rhode Island whilst covering the America’s Cup in 1970 with Hunter Thompson. I ended up a basket case in New York City, without shoes or luggage but happily clutching my passport and ticket home. That was my survival instinct at work, I guess.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0094.xml
article
96
96
What It Feels Like
[no value]
What It Feels Like to Have the Ebola Virus
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Odong Walter
I can't tell you how I got Ebola. I can't tell you exactly. I never visited anybody in the hospital. I never tended to anyone with Ebola. I stayed in my shop, locked up. Some people think it comes from the heavens. Others think it is a poison.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0095.xml
article
96
96
What It Feels Like
[no value]
What It Feels Like to Have Amnesia
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
MARK THISTEL
Amnesia is not like what you see in movies. You remember 80 percent of what you need. It’s the other 20 percent that makes you feel helpless. It happened two years ago on a family skiing vacation in Utah. I had decided to learn snowboarding, and I was going downhill way too fast.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0096.xml
article
97
97
What It Feels Like
[no value]
What It Feels Like to Have Jesus Enter Your Heart
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
DENNIS COVING
Brother Carl Porter stood by the pulpit with a huge yellowphase timber rattler in his hands. The snake’s head, as big as a child’s fist, was moving back and forth. The snake was a lowly creation—carnal, acrid smelling, alive—but I knew if I took it, I’d be possessing the sacred.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0097.xml
sidebar
97
97
What It Feels Like
[no value]
What It Feels Like to Be Stuck in Quicksand
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Bruce Fyfe
My new Siberian husky took off through a gravel company near my home in Limestone, New York. She ran down a slope and across a big sandy area. To me, it just looked like a beach. I took three or four steps before I became completely trapped in muck.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0098.xml
article
98
98,99
What It Feels Like
[no value]
What It Feels Like to Be Attacked By a Swarm of African Killer Bees
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
MICHAEL FINKEL
1. They emerged from a nest hidden beneath a rock, near where I was hiking in central Africa. They came at me like fighter jets. 2. At a certain critical mass, the buzz stopped being a buzz. The sound became like a dentist's drill—a piercing, shrieking whine.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0099.xml
article
99
99
What It Feels Like
[no value]
What It Feels Like to Approach Eighty
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Elmer Bernstein
Bernstein has been composing music for movies for fifty years. He scored, among others, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Magnificent Seven, The Great Escape, and Ghostbusters. He wrote an original piece for Esquire, part of which is seen here. He can be heard playing it In its entirety at esquire.com.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0100.xml
article
99
99
What It Feels Like
[no value]
What It Feels Like to Be Struck By Lightning
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Max Dearing
I have a degree in electronics, so I know about the destructive power of high-voltage energy, but this was beyond what I could have imagined. I was struck on a typical North Carolina July afternoon-little billowy clouds floating by, mostly sunny.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0101.xml
article
99
99
What It Feels Like
[no value]
What It Feels Like to Be Paralyzed
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
John Callahan
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0102.xml
article
99
99
What It Feels Like
[no value]
What It Feels Like to Have Autism
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Thomas McKean
With the auditory sense, the distortion is related to hypersensitivity. At church on Sundays, the sounds all gather together in my ears and stay in there, amplifying and echoing, it's very painful, I wear noise-reduction headphones to get around this.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0103.xml
article
100
100
What It Feels Like
[no value]
What It Feels Like to Be in a Plane Crash
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
ELLEN HASSMAN
It happened years ago, in the Caribbean on an airliner. But with great clarity and equal intensity, my memory is able to put me into that seat in the back of the plane just moments before the crash. Trays were in the upright position, and all handheld luggage was stored for landing.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0104.xml
article
100
100
What It Feels Like
[no value]
What It Feels Like to Win the Nobel Prize
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
JAMES HECKMAN
I was in Rio de Janeiro for a conference, taking a shower at the hotel, when I got the call. It was one of those rooms with a phone in the bathroom. There was a Swedish person on the line, and I thought one of my students was playing a joke on me. Then it sank in:
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0105.xml
article
100
100
What It Feels Like
[no value]
What It Feels Like to Be Best in Show
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
SCOTT SOMMER
When they were ready to announce the winner, I was sweating like crazy. I could feel J. R. wanting to explode, but he stood there perfectly still, containing himself. When it was over, he went nuts. He went on his back legs. He jumped in and out of the silver bowl they give the winner.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0106.xml
article
100
100,101
What It Feels Like
[no value]
What It Feels Like to Get Knocked Out
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Bruce
There are two ways to get knocked out: to the body and to the head. Getting knocked out to the body—to the liver or the solar plexus—paralyzes you for ten or twenty seconds. It's extremely painful when you're down, but after you get up it's as if nothing happened.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0107.xml
article
102
102,103,104,105,106,107,108,109,110,111,158,159,160
[no value]
[no value]
Who Owns This Body?
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
WIL S. HYLTON
<p>The symptoms crashed down like an avalanche, and John Moore didn't know what to think. Bruises all over his body, bleeding gums, and the roll of flesh around his waist that he'd always figured for fat had gotten lumpy and red and sore. He didn't know much about cancer, but when he finally dragged himself to a doctor in Anchorage in the summer of 1976, he learned more than he wanted to know.</p>
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0108.xml
article
112
112,113,114,115,116,117
Style
[no value]
The Producers
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
MUSIC'S MOST PROLIFIC HIT MAKERS STEP OUT OF THE STUDIO TO DEMONSTRATE THAT THEY LOOK AS GOOD AS THEY SOUND
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0109.xml
article
118
118,119,120,121
[no value]
[no value]
The Last Great Golf Course in America
ON THE COAST OF OREGON, A TOP HUNDRED-FOOT CLIFFS. TOM DOAK AND MIKE KEISER ARE ABOUT TO UNVEIL WHAT MAY BE...
[no value]
[no value]
Tom Chiarella
IN ARCHITECTURE, MANY CONNECTIONS ARE CALLED MOMENTS. The column meets a beam. That’s a moment. The roofline meets its peak. Another moment. When my brother Frank was an architecture student, we stood in a parking garage in Salt Lake City and he told me, “To get my license, I’d have to be capable of calculating every moment in this whole place.”
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0110.xml
article
122
122,123,124,125,126,127,128,130
[no value]
[no value]
Michael Stipe Has Great Hair
Based on a true story
[no value]
[no value]
Tom Junod
MICHAEL STIPE LICKED THE LAST of the sugar from the metal dispenser at the top of the jar before handing the jar to the busboy. He had just been to Japan, where he had seen a famous singer of yokyoku songs eat nothing but granulated sugar for the twenty-four hours before his performance, so he had decided to do the same thing.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0111.xml
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129
129
[no value]
[no value]
Harman Kardon, Inc.: Cdr 30
[no value]
Harman Kardon, Inc.
CDR 30
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0112.xml
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131
131
[no value]
[no value]
Air France
[no value]
AIR FRANCE
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0113.xml
article
132
132,133,134,135,156,158
[no value]
[no value]
The Funny Thing About Cholesterol
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Jim Atkinson
<p>“YOUR CHOLESTEROL IS UP,” the nurse said over the phone, her voice brittle and vaguely accusatory. As she rattled off the details—LDL, HDL, triglycerides, et cetera—I could feel my pulse quicken and my chest tighten. Be something, wouldn’t it, if the Big One came at the hands of undue anxiety over your cholesterol-test results?</p>
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0114.xml
article
136
136,137,138,139,140,141,142,143,144,145
ESQUIRE STYLE
[no value]
The Fundamentals
ONCE AGAIN, THEY APPLY NOT ONLY TO THE ECONOMY BUT TO A WAY OF DRESSING. ESQUIRE TRAVELS TO VENTURA,CALIFORNIA, TO DOCUMENT A WELCOME STYLE REVI VAL: AMERICAN PREP.
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0115.xml
article
146
146,147
What I've Learned
[no value]
David Brown
Producer (Jaws, Chocolat), 84, New York City
[no value]
[no value]
CAL FUSSMAN
<p>Work yourself to death. It’s the only way to live. I've never loved a dumb woman. The brain, combined with moderate good looks, is an overwhelming aphrodisiac. Exercise is pushing away from the table. The screenwriter George Axelrod advised that when you were breaking off a love affair, always do it in a restaurant.</p>
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0116.xml
article
148
148,149,150,151
3 short short stories
Esquire Fiction
The Outer Banks
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
RUSSELL BANKS
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0117.xml
article
151
151,152
3 short short stories
Esquire Fiction
Dividends and Distributions
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
T. R. PEARSON
<p>I’D SUSPECTED from the beginning that she wasn’t remotely my type, but I’m powerless against those women afflicted with an appetite for me, run across one every other decade or so. She’d gotten my number from her postman, whom I’d helped with his return, and I’d met with her one evening to sort through her allowable expenses.</p>
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0118.xml
article
152
152,153,160,161
3 short short stories
Esquire Fiction
Insects
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
ARTHUR BRADFORD
<p>I WAS DATING this woman named Sandra who had a crooked, S-shaped spine and practiced a sort of amateur voodoo in her spare time. She was always constructing these little dolls out of cloth and dried-up vegetable matter. She’d stick the dolls with pins or light them on fire in hopes of inflicting special discomfort on the intended victim.</p>
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0119.xml
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154
154,155
[no value]
[no value]
Players Club: Don Diego
[no value]
PLAYERS CLUB
DON DIEGO
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0120.xml
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156
156
[no value]
[no value]
Windmill Health Products
[no value]
WINDMILL HEALTH PRODUCTS
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0121.xml
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157
157
[no value]
[no value]
Sinclair Intimacy Institute
[no value]
Sinclair Intimacy Institute
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0122.xml
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158
158
[no value]
[no value]
The Men's Shoppe
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0123.xml
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159
159
[no value]
[no value]
Euro Development
[no value]
Euro Development
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0124.xml
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159
159
[no value]
[no value]
Advertisement: Sea Eagle Paddle Ski 395 Kayak
[no value]
[no value]
Sea Eagle Paddle Ski 395 Kayak
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0125.xml
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160
160
[no value]
[no value]
Windmill Health Products: Hi-ener-g
[no value]
WINDMILL HEALTH PRODUCTS
HI-ENER-G
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0126.xml
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161
161
[no value]
[no value]
Bishop Brands, Inc.: Bafferts Gin
[no value]
Bishop Brands, Inc.
Bafferts Gin
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0127.xml
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161
161
[no value]
[no value]
Richlee Shoe Company: Elevators
[no value]
RICHLEE SHOE COMPANY
ELEVATORS
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0128.xml
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162
162
[no value]
[no value]
The Xandria Collection
[no value]
THE XANDRIA COLLECTION
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0129.xml
article
162
162
[no value]
[no value]
Credits
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Store Information For availability of the items featured in Esquire, call the phone number or consult the Web site provided: Table of Contents, p. 16: Polo by Ralph Lauren crewneck, shirt, and trousers, 888-475-7674; www.polo.com. J. M. Weston loafers, 877-493-7866; www.jmweston.com. J. Press belt, 800-622-1911.
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0130.xml
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163
163
[no value]
[no value]
Wellquest
[no value]
WELLQUEST
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0131.xml
article
164
164
this way out
[no value]
Backstage Demands: a History
[no value]
[no value]
[no value]
A. J. Jacobs
Here are just a few dressingroom requirements of a famously overexposed actress/singer/awards-show attendee, as stipulated in a recent contract for a magazine photo shoot: Fruits/Desserts Mango, green seedless grapes, pineapple, cantaloupe, papaya, honeydew, watermelon, chocolate
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0132.xml
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165
165
[no value]
[no value]
Mercury: 2002 Mountaineer
[no value]
Mercury
2002 Mountaineer
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0133.xml
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166
166
[no value]
[no value]
Apple Computer, Inc.: Powerbook G4
[no value]
Apple Computer, inc.
PowerBook G4
[no value]
[no value]
Esquire_20010601_0135_006_0134.xml