What do you call a rooster wilh erectile dysfunction?
A boneless chicken.
t\ man went into a copy shop and began to chat up the stunning blonde salesgirl behind the counter. "By the way," he asked, "do you keep stationery?"
"I try to," the girl replied, "but at the last second I just go fucking crazy!"
It was the happiest day of her life: She strode up to the altar, kissed her husband and closed the lid.
r\ married man kisses his wife good-bye when he leaves I he house. A man kisses his house good-bye when his wife leaves him.
Based on current statistics, we know 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce, which means the other 50 percent end in death.
Did you hear about the gay man who had Alzheimer's?
He spent all day wondering why his ass was sore.
Please remove your blouse and bra," a doctor told a young blonde as he placed a stethoscope around his neck. He then put his hands on her chest and said, "Big breaths."
"Yeth," she replied, "and I'm only thixthteen."
A recent national poll was conducted for the sole purpose of determining why men get up in the middle of the night.
Twenty-four percent get up because they have to pee. Sixteen percent go prowling around the kitchen to find something to eat. The other 60 percent get up to go home.
Familiarity breeds contempt—and children.
Have you heard the slogan lor the new inexpensive tampon?
"We may not be number one, but we're still up there!"
I believe I am losing my mind," a knockout blonde complained to her doctor. "I can't remember anything after live minutes!"
The doctor answered her in his most comforting tone, "] ust take off all your clothes and lie down. "
A newly married man asked his wile. "Would you have married me if my lather hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly. "I'd have married you no matter who left you a fortune."
A blonde suffering from a sore throat went to see her doctor. He asked her to sit down and said, "Open wide."
"I can't," she replied. "This chair has arms on it."
A cocky young man was about to make love to his newest conquest when the woman whispered. "Please be gentle. I have a weak heart."
"Don't worry," the young man replied. "I'll be careful when I get in that far."
What did the impotent guy say to his girl alter a failed evening? "No hard feelings."
Whatever happened to that good-looking man you married?" a woman asked her redheaded friend.
"Oh," said the redhead, "I had to divorce him for health reasons."
"Really?" the woman asked. "What do you mean?"
The redhead replied, "I grew sick of him."
A guy in the rear of a full elevator in a hotel shouted, "Ballroom, please."
"I'm sorry." the woman in front of him said. "I didn't realize I was crowding you."
What did one boob say to the other?
"We really have to stop letting that guy come between us!"
I fought over a girl last night." one friend said to another.
"Oh yeah?" the second replied. "With whom?"
The other answered, "My wife."
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