If you thought the 1994 Senate race between Oliver North and Chuck Robb was bizarre, wait till you see what was going on behind the scenes. A Perfect Candidate (First Run Features, $59.95) is to Ollie's follies what The War Room was to the 1992 Clinton campaign--except in this sassy and jaunty documentary, it's hard to find a good guy in the bunch. Among the highlights: North's relentless red-white-and-blue spin on his Iran-contra transgressions, and the trotting out of Robb's alleged former lover--and subsequent Playboy poser--Tai Collins. . . . Bulletin: Playboy's own Farrah Fawcett:All of Me nudged aside Jerry Maguire to take the number one slot on Billboard's video sales chart in only its second week. Sorry, Tom, ladies first.
Slash the Stars
Some of today's hottest actors began their careers as horror-movie victims, shrieking and darting about, covered in Technicolor blood. Talk about paying your dues.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984): Once Freddy Krueger gets his bladed mitts on him, cocky teen Johnny Depp becomes a sticky spot on the ceiling.
Friday the 13th (1980): Call it "Six Degrees of Impalement." Kevin Bacon becomes a kabob when the ubiquitous Jason rams an arrow through Kev's mattress.
The Hitcher (1986): Truck-stop waitress Jennifer Jason Leigh serves C. Thomas Howell a french fried finger, then ends up tied to the fenders of diesels going in opposite directions. That has to hurt.
Maximum Overdrive (1986): Marla Maples is slammed in the head--and killed--by a watermelon "thrown" by a possessed produce truck. It doesn't compare to living with Donald.
The Devil's Rain (1975): Face/Off isn't the first time John Travolta loses his mug. In this epic, John's face is melted by a downpour of acid rain. Ouch.
Cat People (1982): Give Ed Begley Jr. a hand--because his has been ripped off by a nasty black leopard (Nastassja Kinski, in supernatural feline form).
The Burning (1981): Before he became a neurotic mess, Jason Alexander was stalked by a mutilated groundskeeper brandishing a hedge-clipper. Just a little off the top, please.
Without Warning (1980): Baby-faced David Caruso is among the doomed townsfolk plagued by slicing, dicing, pizza-shaped aliens. Should have called the NYPD.
Friday the 13th--The Final Chapter (1984): First Crispin Glover gets a corkscrew through his hand, then a meat cleaver in the face. Clearly, the guy should stay out of the kitchen.
The Terminator (1984): More than a decade before Independence Day, punk hoodlum Bill Paxton surrenders his leather jacket--and a few teeth--to Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Cutting Class (1989): A slash-o-matic killer stalks the hallways of Valley High School, where a young Brad Pitt is a bit of a lady-killer himself.
Halloween and Halloween II (1978, 1981): "Scream Queen" Jamie Lee Curtis survives two outings with psycho Michael Myers. At least she fared better than her mom, Janet Leigh, who Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins) "showered" with deadly affection in Psycho.
"If the Bible has taught us nothing else--and it hasn't-- it's that girls should only get involved in girls' sports, like foxy boxing, hot oil wrestling and such and such."--Homer Simpson on women's sports
It Makes Work
According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, the percentage increase in the number of the country's marriage counselors since 1970:2500.
The percentage of Americans who let their dishes pile up for a couple of days before washing them: 5.
Number of cows needed to supply the leather used for a year's supply of NFL footballs: 3000.
According to Worth, the percentage of U.S. millionaires who were under the age of 50 in 1990:9. In 1995:20.
Wanted: Full-Time Lotion Boy
Bottles of sunscreen used monthly by cast and crew of Baywatch:40.
Ones, Fives, Tens
Chances that the cash in an American's wallet is organized by denomination: 9 in 10.
Estimated pounds of fat liposuctioned out of 300,000 American men and women last year: 1.5 million.
Don't Kick the Cubicle
According to an Accountemps survey, percentage of time corporate managers spend attempting to resolve employee clashes: 18.
Fact of the Month
In a recent survey, an overwhelming majority of the women polled said it takes at least an hour to decide whether a guy is worth a second date. Most men said it takes less than 15 minutes.
Ratio of inductees into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame who are hearing impaired: 3 in 5.
Approximate cost of having your pet mummified by Summum, a Utah church that practices ancient Egyptian rituals: $4500 to $14,000. Number of people who have arranged to be mummified by Summum once the procedure becomes available: 137.
According to Goofy Government Grants and Wacky Waste by Sheryl Lindell-Roberts, amount of money spent by NASA on a prototype toilet for the space shuttle: $23 million.
That Damn Shovel Came out of Nowhere
Number of Americans who were injured in mishaps with handheld garden tools in 1993: 44,835.
According to a Penn State study, average number of seconds it takes a mall shopper to back out of a parking space: 26. Number of seconds it takes when another car is hovering for the same spot: 31. Number of seconds it takes when the other car honks to hurry things up: 41.
Wet and Wild
Gallons of water the average American uses while showering: 12.
Number of espresso machines purchased in 1989: 200,000. In 1996: 1.6 million.
Significa, Insignifica, Stats and Facts
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